Sunday, February 13, 2005

Saturday entertainment on gaydar

Whenever I log on to the London chat rooms at a weekend, I can never settle myself to do anything constructive until I’ve had some success and met up with someone. Compulsive behaviour or what ...

Still, I hadn’t actively tried to find any action in London using since before Christmas so I log on mid Saturday morning. There are about 280 guys in the main central London cruising chat room. Fairly quickly a guy who wants me to visit him in Holborn starts chatting to me. He just wants me to let him play with me, a bit of harmless fun which I do enjoy. He seems quite keen, so I ask him whether he would keep his clothes on or join in, telling him that I didn’t mind either way. But he doesn’t respond. His profile gives me the impression that he hasn’t been exploring his gay sexuality for very long – those kinds of guys are always hardest to pin down. Never mind.

I spot another guy who likes having people visit him. He just wants to watch them play with themselves. Visiting guys who like that kind of thing is an occasional little hobby of mine, so I try to start chatting to him. But no response. It looks like he has been logged on a long time so he is probably away from his computer by now. Never mind again. Somehow I manage to drag myself away from to go to the gym, so perhaps the day won’t be completely wasted.

Getting back from the gym at lunchtime though, I can’t stop myself logging back into gaydar. As usual, I’m not going to be able so settle until I’d had some fun. Boyfriend number 1 is going to go out to see a friend which makes it easier, because I don’t let him catch me chatting on!

A chap in Scotland starts chatting to me. He says in Scotland he doesn’t get much gay fun, except for some mutual wank sessions with a mate of his who lives nearby. Both of them are married, their wives don’t know about this ‘activity’ of theirs, and its been going on for four years. “How on earth did you get into that” I ask, “after all its not its not exactly standard pub conversation, asking your straight mate if you can wank him off”. “Sometimes we would talk a lot about sex” he says, “and then we kind of got into watching porn together”. From there I can see how it happened. Later he admits that he’d done various gay stuff before that, and he had been hoping to get some fun going with this mate of his. I ask him if he would describe himself has straight, bi-sexual, gay, metrosexual, bi-curious? “Well I love c**t but can’t resist cock” he replies. Sounds almost like a textbook definition of bi-sexual to me.

Thanks to the GPS facility, I’d also spot a guy within 15 minutes walk of me who enjoys much the same thing as the guy in Scotland gets up to with his mate. So we exchange pics and it is agreed I will visit mid-afternoon. Maybe I’ll get some fun today after all.

I arrive, and face to face I like the look of him more than from the pictures I’d seen of him. In his pictures, he looks a lot more hard core than he does face to face. Face to face he looks quite cuddly. He is a bit overweight but not obese. He’s put on a DVD of eastern European guys playing with themselves. Do I want anything to drink? “Just a glass of water please?” I ask him. While he’s getting me a glass of water I take my t-shirt, shoes and socks off. I always reckon its important to take off a few clothes quite quickly, otherwise it can be hard to get started.

Turns out he’s brilliant at playing with other guys. After around forty-five minutes, as we’re reaching his crucial moment, my mobile phone rings. Damm, forgot to turn it off. We ignore it and focus on the task at hand. Later I discover from the voicemail that it was a restaurant phoning to confirm my valentines day reservation for me and boyfriend number 1.

In these situations, I always enjoy chatting after we’ve cleaned up. Some guys just want you to go quickly, but more often than not they’re happy to talk for a bit. I learn that one of his friends had an interview for qsoft computing in the early/mid 1990’s. Qsoft is the firm that either owns gaydar, or does the software for gaydar. Naturally this friend of his is now sorry he didn’t join them, given that gaydar has been such a success. I tell him that an article I read in gay times within the last year or so said that gaydar didn’t start until 1999. We’re not sure how to resolve the conflicting memories, but it doesn’t matter.

I leave after another fifteen minutes and head for my gym. I always wonder what other guys in the changing room think if they notice that I’m just there for a shower.

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