Fun before work on a Monday morning (again!)

There must be something special about Monday mornings. After a restless night’s sleep, I get up early and log onto gaydar and gay.com, just like the previous Monday (Fun before work with a young dancer). I am not disappointed.

As on the previous Monday, it’s a guy on gay.com that contacts me. He’s in his early twenties and lives quite centrally in London, so visiting him before work is quite feasible. He’s been up all night and needs a bit of fun before going to sleep. “I’m going to skip work today”, he says.

While I’m in the taxi on my way to meet this guy, I get a txt msg from J:

am going 2 gym this am

We had arranged a few weeks ago that J would txt me when he was going to the gym in the morning, so that if I was in the gym too I would know to come and find him for fun in the sauna (J gets my mobile phone number). I quickly send a reply:

OK I should be there later but first I am meeting a guy from gay.com for a bit of fun

I’ve never admitted to J before that I use the Internet to find fun, so I’m not sure what he’ll think of me when he gets the message. Maybe I’ll find out later.

The taxi arrives at the young guy’s apartment block so I phone him. “I’ll be right down to let you in”, he says. He arrives to open the door while I’m wondering why he can’t just press a button in his apartment to let me in. He’s got a much shorter haircut compared to his picture I saw on gay.com which makes him look a bit fierce, but he seems happy to see me.

The apartment is quite small, on the sixth floor of this apartment block. There's just a single room with a tiny bathroom and a tiny kitchen attached, but it’s comfortable enough. There are no curtains on the window, so all the rooms from the hotel opposite can see into the guy’s room. “The curtains are open”, I say, “but I don’t mind if you don’t”.

He ignores my comment, and comes up and rubs his body up against mine. I guess that mean that he doesn't mind. I can feel that his body isn’t as toned as the dancer I met the previous week, but he’s a gorgeous guy none the less. Gently he kisses me, while reaching down to the gym shorts I’m wearing to feel me. Gradually we strip, and move over to the single bed. With the curtains remain open, we have a very enjoyable time.

Afterwards we just lie there, naked. He moves up to put his head on my shoulder, so I put my arm round him and hold him tightly. “How old are you?” he asks.

I tell him the truth. “I’m sorry,” I say, “I know that’s older than I admit to on gay.com”.

“Don’t worry”, he chuckles.

“So how old are you then?” I ask.

“My profile tells the truth”.

We lie there in each other’s arms for around twenty minutes. He tells me that he’s a clerk of some sort in an insurance company in the city, but he needs to find a job that pays more. He wants to be a writer of some sort. “But I’ve got ages to try and do that”, he says, “you can find quite a few writers who didn’t get published until they were in their forties”.

Eventually it seems like time to go so we mop up. “You know, you look younger in real life compared to your online photos”, he tells me as I get dressed. That makes me wonder whether I should get the photos re-done. Down on the street, I grab a taxi and head to the gym for a shower.

Once inside the gym changing rooms, I strip and make my way the sauna to see if J is still there. I’m in luck, I walk into the sauna and he’s inside on his own. “So you’ve already had a bit of fun this morning?” he says to me quietly.

But just then another guy enter. It's N (Fun with N in the gym sauna after an exercise class), however I don't think J and N don’t know each other.

“I’m late actually, I’m going to have to go”, says J, conscious of the fact that we can’t really talk about my excursion this morning now N is there.

“I’ll tell you about it later”, I say with a big grin on my face.

Once J had left, there’s just me and N in the sauna. N has laid down on his back naked, and as he looks over to where I’m sitting, I notice that he’s starting to get an erection. I go and see next to him, and while he’s lying there I gently rub his body, his legs, and start playing with him. “Just enjoy it”, I whisper to him with a smile on my face, “I’ve already cum this morning”. Luckily we’re not interrupted.

Afterwards I shower and head for the office. It’s been a busy morning already!

An exhibitionist in the gym shower last Sunday

I’m taking a shower after a gym class last Sunday and while the guy in the next door shower is drying himself, I notice that he’s got a semi-erection. Hmmm nice, I think, he didn’t have that when he arrived for his shower a few minutes ago. But strange too, because I’ve seen this guy on many occasions previously, and he’s never before had even the hint of an erection.

The guy with the semi-erection leaves and I move out into the passage in front of all the glass shower partitions to dry myself down. It’s then that I see him. In the end shower, which was next to guy who had the semi-erection, there’s a hunky black guy playing with himself. He’s standing with his back to the shower wall, facing the passage, looking straight ahead and slowly wanking himself off. He looks magnificent, very erotic. This must be the reason why the guy got his semi-erection because it’s very easy to see what’s going on through the frosted glass partition.

I feel myself starting to get an erection too. In my experience, this kind of blatant exhibitionism is quite rare. I want to stay and watch, maybe even lend a hand, but I would be too conspicuous. So I head back to get dressed. The black guy was clearly enjoying himself, I’m sure he’ll have a good time without me.

Do I have a ‘male’ or a ‘female’ brain?

Last weekend, I found a fascinating online survey at the BBC web site, SEX I.D. find out how your mind works! The survey takes about half an hour, and aims to try and work out whether the person filling in the survey has a ‘male’ or a ‘female’ brain. Being a gay man, do I have a female brain to some extent? I had to find out.

The six-part test asked quite a lot of personal questions. For example, it wanted to know whether I’m gay or straight, how many sexual partners I’ve had in the past year, how many times I’ve been unfaithful, and so on. But the web site kept telling me that by filling out these questions I was taking part in real scientific research. Although I don’t see how the answers to those kind of questions can help determine the gender of my brain, I can see that it’s the kind of information that’s interesting to researchers in this area.

The results are a bit coarse, with only 5 possible results: 100% female, 50% female, 0% male or female, 50% male, 100% male. The average score for men who have taken the survey turns out to be 50% male. My result? My brain is 100% male! Now what does that mean?

An encounter with a blatant liar

I’ve mentioned before that the ‘Internet age’ of guys on gaydar and gay.com is often lower than their real age (What's your internet age?). However most guys stay within the boundaries of plausibility. But not the guy I met last Saturday.

On Saturday morning I’ve got some work to do on my laptop. Although I’m not going to look for fun actively on gaydar, I still log in and let it sit there in the background. If any guys want to chat to me then that’s great, I’ll just be a passive user this morning.

A couple of guys chat to me over the next hour or so. Eventually there’s one guy who wants me to visit him. His profile says he’s 32 years old. He sends me a picture of himself, although it’s a very small picture so it’s hard to see things clearly. He’s an oriental guy, and I know oriental guys often love having fun with English guys, so everything seems in order. I decide to take a trip across town to visit him.

The guy lives about 3 miles away so I grab a taxi. The taxi journey across London is a nightmare. Waterloo bridge is closed for some reason, Whitehall is closed for some parade or demonstration, but after changing taxis a couple of times and walking a short distance I arrive.

It’s a smart apartment block, with magnificent views of the river Thames and some of London’s famous landmarks. When I reach his door I knock, and the door opens. But the guy isn’t visible. I hear him say from behind the door, “Hi, welcome”, so I walk in and he closes the door behind me. Now I’m in his lair!

I wasn’t really ready for the question he asked me next. I turn round to look at him and straight away he says, “Are you OK?”

“Err yes, it was a tiresome journey, but I’m fine”, I reply.

“Are you OK? Are you sure?” He looks nervous.

It gradually dawns on me that he’s referring to the fact that he’s clearly at least 20 years older than he specified in his gaydar profile.

“Are you OK?”

“Yes, I’m fine”, I say disappointed. I am OK, because there have been occasions in the past when I’ve had some great fun with older guys. But I’m disappointed because I was looking forward to the kind of session I had with the younger oriental guys when I was in Singapore in February (Singapore trip Feb 2005. Monday, final day). It’s clear to me that it’s going to be a different kind of session with this guy. Why can’t guys be less dishonest?

He enjoys playing with me and I have a satisfactory time, although not a great one. Afterwards I admire the view from his apartment. It turns out that he’s a hotel-catering manager. He’s a nice enough guy, apart from the fact that he’s a blatant liar!

I head to gym, and get back home to boyfriend number 1 around 1pm. “Do you fancy visiting a couple of gardens with me this afternoon?” asks boyfriend number 1 over lunch.

It turns out that there are two interesting London gardens open as part of the National Garden Scheme. One of these is very close to the guy’s apartment. So later the same day, I find myself standing outside the same apartment block, this time with boyfriend number 1 while we’re looking for a cab to take us home. One day, I think to myself, this kind of co-incidence will somehow catch me out!

Is S gay or straight? The plot thickens.

Myself and J have been trying to work out whether S is straight or gay (A discussion with J using txt msgs). Last Friday the plot thickened in both directions.

On Friday morning, I’m in the sauna with S and I ask him if he’s got anything planned for the weekend. “I’ll probably take them skating”, he replies.

“Who are ‘they’?” I ask, confused.

“Oh my two children”. So not only does he have a wife, but he’s got a couple of kids too. So he must have had hetero sex at least twice!

We chat a bit more. Last week he told me about one of the gym instructors, who’s in a long-term gay relationship with another of the instructors (Fun with N in the gym sauna after an exercise class). And the gym class which one of these gay instructors runs is tonight. “I always do the class”, say S, “and if you do it too I’m sure you’ll enjoy it”.

“OK, I’ll try to come along tonight, but it may be difficult to get off work in time”.

As it turns out, I am able to attend the class, and it’s amazing. I’ve been going to the gym for many years now, but I’ve never been to an aerobics class that is so conspicuously full of gay men. I would guess it was 60% gay guys, 40% women, plus S of course.

The instructor starts by saying that he’s borrowed some music from P, which is the name of his boyfriend. He clearly knows that he is amongst friends. And the class is very enjoyable too. It’s clearly become a firm fixture in all these guys’ calendars.

There are several guys there who I recognise as participants in sauna fun. And I see S chatting to them all. How on earth can this guy be straight?

Afternoon fun in the gym sauna on Thursday

Last week was a rotten week at the bank. The week started out well enough, visiting R for some fun before work on Monday (Fun before work with a young dancer), but in terms of work everything is painful at the moment. By Thursday I feel so frustrated that I need to get out to try and find some fun. I take the easy option of leaving for a late lunch and going for a sauna at the gym.

There’s no one in the sauna when I enter so I lie down on my back. Almost immediately an Asian guy enters, and takes up a position where he’s got a good view of my naked body. I look over at him and we catch each other’s eye so it’s all sorted, we’re both after a bit of fun. I sit up and look at him and soon I’ve moved over to sit next to him. He’s a bit shorter than I am with well-developed muscles everywhere on his body, a very fit looking guy.

We have a bit of preliminary fun before he makes a suggestion, “Why don’t we go to the permanent locker area?”

This is a good idea for a couple of reasons. The part of the men’s changing rooms where the permanent lockers are is a very quiet area, and at this time of the afternoon we’re highly unlikely to be disturbed. In terms of privacy, the sauna is much more of a lottery. And although we’re obviously both used to having fun in the hot sauna environment, the truth is I that I prefer fun at more everyday temperatures. So we leave the sauna separately, and discretely make our way to the quiet area. As expected it’s empty.

We take off our towels and stand there facing each other next to one of the benches, both naked. I smile at him and put my hand on his shoulder. He reciprocates. I’m in luck because it turns out that he loves cuddling, and so do I of course. In this situation cuddling really means hugging, so we wrap our hands round each other and hold each other close while standing up. He enjoys kissing too, so we have a great time. Somehow my pent-up frustration from work makes the finale even more enjoyable than usual.

Afterwards he asks me my name. It turns out that his name is T. “You’re lovely”, he says, “can we carry on hugging for a bit?”

“Yes of course”, I say in a low voice. What a gorgeous guy, I’ve never found a guy from the gym sauna scene that’s so into cuddling. While we're hugging we talk to each other quietly.

“Shall we keep in touch?” says T.

He seems a bit keener than the usual types of guys one meets here! Well, I’d better be honest with him. “Actually I’ve got a boyfriend, we’ve been together since 1989. Let’s just look out for each other in the sauna.”

He smiles at me. “I’ve got a boyfriend too, you know, and sometimes I bring him here. So I might not be able to say hello to you next time I’m here, if I’m with him!”

“OK, is your boyfriend Asian too?” I ask.

“Actually he’s Scandinavian”, says T with a grin, “we’ve been together for around two years now”.

Eventually it seems like it’s time to part company. T is a really nice guy, and certainly not the usual type of guy that participates in sauna fun. I hope I see him again.

A conundrum in the gym sauna

I’m in the gym sauna last Wednesday morning with just one other naked guy. I’ve never seen this other guy in there before, but slowly we establish that we’re both interested in a bit of fun. In fact he becomes visibly excited, so I move to sit next to him.

At this point, W walks in, with some swimming shorts on. I’ve mentioned W before (Back in the gym in London in the men's sauna), he used to be very keen on sauna fun but hasn’t participated for at least 6 months. On his entry I say hello to W, he reciprocates, and then all three of us just sit there. So the conundrum is, how to make fun occur involving all three of us?

Should I just try continuing with the new guy? I feel certain that confronted with fun, W would be unable to resist joining in, but the new guy will feel it’s inappropriate because he doesn’t know W so to him there’s someone else there with shorts on.

Perhaps a better plan would be to try to cruise W somehow. It would be so much easier though if W would just take off his shorts. I’m sure W can tell he’s interrupted something, and I occasionally see him touching the front of his shorts so he may be getting a bit of a stiffy underneath.

Maybe I should play the exhibitionist. This would show the new guy that I’m comfortable with W being there, and hopefully it would coax W into leaving or joining in.

Unfortunately before I can solve the conundrum, the new guy leaves. Although he returns soon after, having had a cool down shower, at that point another guy enters too. Ahhh well, it was interesting to see W in the sauna again, and hopefully he’ll show a bit of interest in having a bit of fun the next time.

Fun before work with a young dancer

I’ve mentioned before that it’s sometimes possible to find a bit of fun before work (The nipple question). Last Monday was just such a day.

While I’m eating my breakfast I log onto gaydar. Gaydar is a bit quiet so out of curiosity I log onto gay.com too. On one occasion last year I had found some fun in London via gay.com (New York trip 2004: Saturday before the flight), so although gaydar is the dominant online cruising web site in the UK, London gay life still exists on gay.com to some extent.

I’m astounded because within 10 minutes I’m chatting to a couple of guys on gay.com, and still nothing via gaydar. The first guy to contact me lives in the south-west of London, and seems interested in having me meet him for some fun in his office in the West End. While I’m chatting to him, a second guy in his early 20’s contacts me. The second guy only lives about 15 minutes by taxi from me so I focus on this conversation because it seems more promising. While I’m chatting to the second guy, a guy from gaydar contacts me so I start chatting to him too. But the discussions with the second guy from gay.com go well. It turns out that his name is R. So we exchange mobile phone numbers and I tell the other guys that I hope to meet them on another occasion.

I order a taxi. When I’m ready to leave, boyfriend number 1 is still in bed so I go and give him a kiss to wish him an enjoyable day. Unfortunately my mobile phone beeps loudly with a txt msg from R while I’m in the bedroom, he’s checking that I’m still going to visit him. “Damm”, I think, “why didn’t I turn my mobile phone off, how can I explain getting a txt msg at this time of day?” Luckily boyfriend number 1 is too sleepy to ask so I head for the taxi.

It’s a taxi driver I recognise, who’s surprised that I’m going in a different direction to normal. While I’m in the cab I get another txt msg from R. “When you arrive, send me a txt msg and I'll let you, please don’t ring the doorbell – people sleeping”.

Everything goes according to plan. Face to face, R is a bit shorter than I am, with a fit body and a friendly face, basically a lovely looking guy. His flat is in the basement, and the door enters straight onto a small living room. “There's a friend sleeping here at the moment so please try and be quiet. So we'll do it over there”, he whispers, pointing to a small sofa, “is that OK? Would you like a glass of water or something?”

“OK thanks”, I say quietly. But before he can go and get me a glass of water I put my hand on his shoulder and kiss him gently on his lips. I only intended it as an introductory kiss but it turns out that he’s very keen and he reciprocates passionately. We head over to the sofa, shedding clothing on the way.

“Are you safe?” he asks.

“Yes of course, you?”

“Yes”, he says, as he starts kissing me again.

Soon we’re both lying on the sofa, kissing and fondling each other, both naked. His body smells gorgeous. It’s been a while since I had fun with a guy of this age, and I find his pert body very stimulating.

“Hmm nice”, he says pausing briefly, half-way through, “but don’t cum in my mouth!”

Afterwards he gets me the glass of water, while I call a taxi. “So what do you do?” he asks me in a hushed voice when he’s back sitting on the sofa next to me. I tell him that I work for a bank in the city.

“And what do you do”, I ask him.

“Oh, I’m a dancer”, he says. I’m not surprised because he looks very fit, and his body is very firm.

“I grew up in Sydney, but I’ve been over here since last summer. Although at the end of last year I was working in America and this year I’m going to be working in Spain and Eastern Europe, as well as London.”

“Wow, that sounds glamorous”, I say.

“It was at first, but now its just work. You soon get over it! Anyway, why are you awake so early?”

“Oh, I usually go to the gym before work”, I explain.

“Actually so do I, but for me that’s late afternoon. I work from 6pm to 1am at the moment. But I have Monday’s off, so last night I was out until very late with friends. Which is why one of my female friends is sleeping here in my bed!”

There was one other occasion when I had fun before work with a ‘dancer’, a guy who had once worked as a model for Dolce & Gabana. At the time I met him he was working as a go-go boy – one of the cute guys who dresses up in virtually nothing, and dances along the bar in the gay equivalent of a hetero lap-dancing club. It was a similar situation to last Monday, we met on gay.com and he was at the end of his night whereas I was at the beginning of my day.

Back to last Monday and I phone the taxi company to find out where the cab is. I need to leave because R wants to go to bed and I’m keeping him up. I’m told the cab is outside so I kiss him goodbye and wish him pleasant dreams.

To my surprise it’s the same taxi driver who took me to visit R half an hour ago. Then I realise that I had inadvertently given the driver the impression that I had wanted him to wait. Damm! Not only is there a big bill to pay in this taxi, but there’s another taxi on the way that’s going to have to be cancelled. Never mind, although it turns out to be an expensive early morning excursion, I’ve enjoyed every second.

A discussion with J using txt msgs

Last Friday S told me that he was married (Fun with N in the gym sauna after an exercise class), so I had to ask J why he was so sure that S was gay. We had recently exchanged mobile phone numbers, so I send J a txt msg.

hi J, in the sauna this morning S told me that he is married! I thought u told me he was gay?

I get an answer quickly:

wot? not gay? yeah right …

But did J have any concrete evidence? I have to ask:

so have u had any ‘experiences’ with him (hope you don’t mind me asking)?

Later I get the reply:

no cos never fancied him. Is he straight then?

Who knows? It might even be that S hasn't even come out to himself yet. His wife might suspect, if they don't have a good sex life together, but we can't ask her! So I txt back:

I will ask him more when I see him next, he might be gay even if he has a wife!

But J reckons he has an easier solution:

Don’t need to ask, just get a hard-on and he’ll clear up the matter for you.

Thanks J, but it’s not really possible to do that with guys that one had become friendly with, is it.

Fun with N in the gym sauna after an exercise class

Last Friday, I’m in one of the classes at the gym, when I spot the guy who was using a sweat-towel to hide his modesty in the sauna the previous Tuesday (New faces in the gym sauna). We’re too far away from each other to make eye contact, but I reckon that he’s spotted me too. Then on the way out, he smiles and winks at me. I smile back. He looks gorgeous, so I hope the wink means that he’ll be in the sauna soon so we can have some fun.

The sauna is empty when I go in, but after a minute or two the guy arrives from the class. We smile at each other and he comes and sits close. But then S comes in too. S is the guy who works for an ex-colleague of mine from a few years ago. J thinks S is gay (Valentines day morning, 2005), and although I’ve never seen any compelling evidence, I would agree with J that S does act in way that makes it very likely.

So I chat to S for a while. “Why don’t you do the step class tonight?” suggests S, “I’m sure you’d enjoy it. Of course, the instructor tonight is the long-term partner of one of the other instructors here”. Both instructors that S is referring to are male, so S has just told me about a gay relationship between a couple of the gym instructors.

“How do you know that?” I ask, amazed.

“Oh I use the hairdressing salon here, and one of the guys there told me”.

Since S has brought up the subject of partners, and gay partners in particular, I feel this is my chance to find out a bit more about S. “Do you have a partner?” I ask. But the answer surprises me.

“Yes”, says S in a tone of voice that implies that it’s a completely stupid question, “I’ve been married a while”. So, the innate intuition that gay guys are meant to have to be able to identify other gay guys has just failed both me and J, at least on the face of it. I try to look relaxed. “Do you have a partner?” asks J. Fair question.

“Yes, but we’re not married”, I say, shaking my head. “But we’ve been together since 1989”.

At this point the guy from the gym class who winked at me leaves the sauna. I feel disappointed that I haven’t had any fun with him. This gives S the chance to probe me further on the matter of my partner.

“Doesn’t she want to get married?” he says. But he spots my discomfort. “Is your partner female”, he continues, “or male?”

“Errr, male actually”.

“Wow”, say S, “since 1989, that’s a very long time for a gay relationship”. Of course he’s right. So in spite of being married, he knows a lot about gay relationships. It’s not impossible that he’s a married gay guy.

Just then the guy from the gym class comes back into the sauna. So he just went to cool down in the shower. Great I think. I’ll leave now, which will probably mean that S will leave soon too, and then I can go back after a cool-down shower for a bit of fun.

My plan works. When I get back in the sauna, it’s just me and the guy from the gym class. He’s lying on his back, naked, with a semi-erect cock. He looks wonderful, so I go and sit close. Slowly, I touch him on the shoulder. His cock stiffens a bit more. Gradually I rub his nipples, his torso, before moving downstairs. We have a great time together.

Afterwards I ask him his name. “N”, he says, smiling at me, so I tell him my name. Hopefully I’ll see him here again.

New faces in the gym sauna

Last Tuesday, I enter the gym sauna and it’s empty, so I lie down on my back naked and relax. After seeing J in here three days in a row, I didn’t expect to see him again today.

Soon a naked guy comes in and I think I recognise him. I’m not sure, but we may have had a session together a few months ago, even though he looks quite straight. I look up and see him looking over at me, so I sit up and take an interest in the situation. Once I’m sitting up, I can see that he’s gradually getting an erection. However many times I find myself in this situation, I always find it exciting watching another guy getting an erection, so I usually end up getting one as well!

Soon he notices that I’m aroused too, and he comes over and sits next to me. We start playing with each other and soon he shoots his load. We haven’t spoken to each other at all, so as he walks out I ask him what his name is. But he just shakes his head, almost angry that I’d asked. Strange guy, it’s not like I’d asked to shag his son. My guess is that he’s probably got a wife or a girlfriend, and always hates himself after he’s satisfied his need for a bit of fun with another guy.

I go for a shower to cool down, then go back into the sauna. Again I’m the only guy there. Soon a lovely looking guy comes and sits down directly opposite me. I look at him, and we catch each other’s eye, so I’m sure he’s looking for fun too. Although he’s naked, he’s got a small sweat-towel that he uses to hide his modesty, however I can see that underneath something is stirring. He smiles at me as he removes the sweat-towel, allowing me to watch him stiffen. I smile back, and go to sit next to him. Just as his erection looks as though it’s reaching its peak, another guy suddenly enters. The guy I'm sitting next to quickly hides himself under his small sweat-towel again. Soon his erection subsides and he leaves for the showers. What a pity.

I’ve seen the guy who has just interrupted us in there a couple of times before, and my guess is that he’s after some fun too. But I don’t yet have any strong evidence for this, apart from the fact that the guy is always naked, and that he’s always looking around perhaps trying to work out if anything is going on. So I leave for another shower to cool down.

On my return, there are two guys in the sauna: the guy who had just interrupted us, and another guy who’s lying down. I try to test my guess about the guy who had interrupted us by taking up a position where I have a really good view of his tackle. A straight guy would never take up that kind of position, and if this guy is straight my position will probably make him feel uncomfortable so he’s likely to want to exit the situation, perhaps by changing his position or leaving all together. But he just sits there. We catch each other’s eye so I feel sure that my guess was right.

We sit there for maybe five minutes, but with the third guy around nothing is going to happen. Eventually the guy who had interrupted us leaves for the showers. Shortly afterwards I follow. It’s been an enjoyable visit, and hopefully I’ll get to see some of these guys again in the future.

Fun with J and T in the gym sauna last Monday

When I entered the sauna on Monday morning I didn’t expect to see J. After I gave him my mobile phone number the previous Friday (J gets my mobile phone number), we tentatively agreed that he’d send me a txt msg whenever he was going to the gym in the morning. And on Monday morning I didn’t get a txt mg.

But I do have a soft spot for J so it’s good to see him. “I didn’t expect to see you here”, I start, “because I didn’t get a txt msg”.

“Yes, sorry”, says J, “ I forgot to bring my mobile phone on the train with me”. So perhaps this idea isn’t really going to work after all!

The only other guy who’s in the sauna leaves so I move closer to J and start fondling his tackle. J closes his eyes and smiles. We start to have a bit of fun, but suddenly we’re interrupted by the door opening. A naked guy walks in who I recognise. He smiles at us, because he can tell that we’re up to the usual.

Although I don’t know the guy’s name, I’ve had fun with him at least half a dozen times in the past. In fact this guy was there on the day that I got J to shoot his load for the first time, and then after J had left for a shower this guy and me had had some fun together.

Back to last Monday and when I see who it is I start playing with J again. So the guy comes over to join us. He sits on one side of me, I’m in the middle, and J is on the other side. Luckily we’re not disturbed and we have a very enjoyable time together.

Afterwards J leaves first to have a shower. I’m about to go when I say to the guy “By the way, what’s your name?”.

“T”, he says, smiling at me.

So I tell him my name. “And that other guy is called J”, I say, indicating to where J had been sitting. I think it’s much better knowing the names of the guys that I have fun with, because it makes our activities together friendlier and less impersonal.

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Sometimes it's a small gay world

When I’m looking for fun on gaydar, I’m always scared that I’ll end up accidentally meeting someone inappropriate. In this context, ‘inappropriate’ means either someone who knows boyfriend number 1, or someone I know in a business context. A couple of days ago I had a lucky escape.

It’s Sunday morning and I log on to gaydar to try and find a bit of fun. This will be the first time I've tried cruising with the new photos (When it comes to my online photos, I'm just a vain gay man). Over the course of the next hour or so I have a few chats with a few guys, but no fun materialises. Then I spot a guy with a promising profile who’s probably no more than a mile away, so I take the initiative and start to chat with him.

It turns out he’s happy for me to visit him as long as I’m discrete. He’s a European student called M, living as a lodger (in quite a smart neighbourhood), and his landlord wouldn’t like it if he brings guys into the house that he’s only just met on the Internet. So it’s got to seem like I’m an old friend of his that had always been planning to visit him on Sunday morning. I promise to play along and we exchange mobile phone numbers. “Txt is always fine”, I say, “but please don’t phone”.

I’m sensitive about phone numbers because there was a phone ‘incident’ about six years ago. There’s a guy who I agree to meet at his hotel near Euston before work, but when I go to phone him on his mobile phone at around 7am on the day I’m due to visit he says he’s feeling too tired. So the meeting never happens. But several months later, the next time this guy is in London, he phones me on my mobile when boyfriend number 1 happens to be standing right next to me. Boyfriend number 1 must have heard some of what this guy says. So after I’ve insisted that I have no idea who he is, I have a very difficult conversation with boyfriend number 1.

Back to today, and I arrange to meet M outside the nearest tube station. I always hate it when I don’t have an address because it increases the probability that the meeting won’t happen, but M insists that this is the best way of avoiding trouble with his landlord.

My fears are unfounded because M does turn up at the appointed time, and he looks gorgeous but familiar in a way that I can’t pin down. I had seen pictures of him before we agreed to meet and I didn’t recognise him then, but face to face I’m sure we’ve met before.

“Hmmm”, I say to him, “have we met before? Perhaps you’ve changed your gaydar profile name? Did you ever live in the East End of London?”

“Yes you look familiar too. But I’ve had the same gaydar profile name for ages, and I’ve lived here for almost ten years.”

It’s a mystery. As we walk to his lodgings I feel convinced that this meeting is ‘inappropriate’. But since neither of us can pin down how we know each other, and since I think M looks gorgeous, I’m powerless to pull out of the situation.

Inside M’s lodgings we make it up to his bedroom without bumping into his landlord. I strip down to my undershorts, and M does the same. While I’m still standing he goes down onto his knees in front of me. Although I enjoy the attention, after a minute or so I ask, “Why don’t we go over to your bed? Do you like cuddling?”

“Yes of course.”

So it’s my lucky day. I love cuddling gorgeous guys, and M is a gorgeous guy. Once we’re on his bed, we have a fantastic time. But even while I’m having fun, I occasionally wonder why M looks familiar. At one point M is lying on his back with his head on the pillows and I’m on my knees facing him. Behind his bed there are some photographs. I summon up enough concentration to focus on the photographs as well as my activities with M and, ‘phew’, I’m relieved that I don’t recognise anyone in the photos.

Afterwards we work it out how we know each other. “What gym do you go to”, says M. When I tell him, he smiles knowingly, and I suddenly realise why we seem familiar to each other.

“So we’ve had fun with each other in the sauna there, haven’t we!” I say.

“Yes that’s it”, says M, “although I don’t go to that gym any more”.

Indeed, I haven’t seen him there for at least six months. I feel that I’ve had a lucky escape. Although there always seem to be hundreds of new faces on gaydar and in the sauna at the gym, sometimes the gay world seems quite small.

When it comes to my online photos, I'm just a vain gay man

I reckon it’s important to have up-to-date photos to share with guys on gaydar or gay.com before one meets up face to face. But it’s hard for me to get suitable photographs. I can’t say to boyfriend number 1 “Can you take some sexy photographs of me to help my online cruising activities?”

I’ve admitted before that my Internet age is not the same as my real age (What's your internet age?), so up-to-date photos are vital. I’ve met hundreds of guys for fun over the Internet, but there was only one occasion around seven years ago when I arrived and the guy said to me “Sorry, please go, I was expecting someone younger”. Although I was upset, the guy was definitely fatter than he’d said so I managed to reply, “No problem, I was expecting someone slimmer”. Needless to say, this was an occasion when we didn’t exchange photographs before agreeing to meet.

Up-to-date photographs are the best way of ensuring that I don’t get myself into that situation again. One might think if one has an Internet age that is different from one’s real age, then it’s OK to have an old photo to back up the lower Internet age. But I reckon the shallow gay world works on impressions rather than realities, so as long as one’s photos are accurate the truth about one's age is secondary.

Luckily my (antique) digital camera has a timer which allows me to set up a shot with a 5-second pause before the picture is taken. So once a year I wait until boyfriend number 1 goes out and then carefully take new photos of myself. Although I make sure my face will not be on my gaydar profile, I also have to make sure that there’ll be nothing in the photos that could be identified as being in our house.

Before Easter there was a guy who I’d met for some fun last year who said he would take some new photos of me (There's no point in living if you can't feel alive). That would solve my problem. But I want to co-ordinate my new photos with a recent haircut to make sure I look my best. When I’ve logged on to gaydar recently this guy hasn’t been around, so I’ll have to do it myself. My online photos are now over a year old, my haircut is almost a week old, so thank goodness boyfriend number 1 went shopping on his own yesterday. But will my new photos increse or decrease my success rate in the months ahead?

J gets my mobile phone number

Having met J last Thursday after a gap of almost two months (A meeting with J in the gym sauna), on Friday I was hoping to see him again. With a bit of luck we would be able to have some fun together, and I’ll give him my mobile phone number so he’ll be able to contact me in future.

After my usual Friday morning gym class, I enter the sauna and J is there. I smile, and go over to sit next to him. Since we’re the only two guys there, I lean over tickle his scrotum. “Hmmm”, he murmurs, “nice to see you”.

“I’ve got something for you”, I say, slipping him a bit of paper with my mobile phone number on it. “Now you’ll be able to contact me”.

“Great”, says J, “I’ll send you a txt msg this afternoon and then you’ll have my number too”.

Before we can really get started though, another naked guy enters the sauna. Damm, it’s S who works for an ex-colleague of mine from a few years ago. I should have guessed he might turn up because we were in the gym class together. He can tell he’s interrupted something and looks slightly embarrassed.

Interruptions from someone that one knows are always more embarrassing on both sides. And S has interrupted me before (Friday morning in the gym sauna). However J told me a couple of months ago that he was sure S was gay, in which case S is presumably no stranger to having a bit of fun in the sauna.

Another guy from the gym class enters the sauna too so it doesn’t look as though any fun will be possible there today. J leaves. I chat briefly to S and the other guy about the gym class we’ve just both been in, but soon I leave the sauna too.

“Why don’t we put our shorts on and go to that room I know”, I ask J quietly once I’ve located him. This is what I suggested the day before, but J hadn’t had his shorts with him.

This time he’s got something he can wear. “OK sure”, he says smiling and looking curious at the same time. Although J knows where the room is, he’s never been inside before.

Once inside the room I lock the door, and we both strip naked. We wrap our arms round each and just cuddle, standing up. “Its not really possible to do this in the sauna is it?” I say to him, with a big smile on my face. We both enjoy what follows.

Afterwards we walk back to the changing room together. “I’ll send you a txt msg later”, says J as we part company.

It’s been really good to have some fun with J again. J knows about boyfriend number 1, so he knows I’m not looking for a relationship. But I’m still worried that perhaps I’m getting too involved with J, given that he now has my mobile phone number.

A meeting with J in the gym sauna

I hadn't seen J since Valentines day morning, 2005, although I'd been keeping a lookout for him (Thursday fun at the gym, but where is J?). But this morning I walked into the sauna and there he was :-)

"Where have you been”, I ask him. There are a couple of other naked guys in the sauna, and one of them looks as though he’s cruising J. So I’m happy that J wants to talk to me.

“Oh I’ve been around”, replies J, “although a bit lazy in the mornings. But you’ve been away on holiday too”.

“True”, I say, and I tell him about my holiday with boyfriend number 1 (On holiday in Southern Europe with Boyfriend Number 1).

Over the next 15 minutes, we leave and re-enter the sauna a couple of times showering while we’re outside to cool down, hoping that we’ll have an opportunity to be alone so we can have some fun together. At one point when we’re back inside, I start to play with J, but almost immediately a new guy enters.

“Have you brought your shorts”, I ask J when we’re outside again, thinking about the obscure lockable room I know which would require us to leave the men's changing rooms.

“No, sorry”, says J.

We head to the showers again and I try to play with J’s cock under the glass partition that divides his showering area from mine, but it’s tricky.

“Unfortunately I’m going to have to go to work soon”, I say, disappointed.

“Perhaps you could give me your mobile phone number”, suggests J, “then we could use txt msgs to co-ordinate our visits”.

“Great idea, I’ll be here tomorrow so I’ll give it to you then if you’re around”.

“I’ll try to be”, he says smiling at me as I walk away to put on my clothes.

It’s been great to see J again, I hope I manage to meet him tomorrow.

A meeting with a guy who's had a boyfriend for 30 years

What happens to gay couples as they get older? Do they become more or less monogamous? I encountered one possible scenario last Sunday when I met a guy who’d been with his partner for 30 years.

I meet him through gaydar of course. I log on mid-morning on Sunday and within 20 minutes he sees my profile, contacts me through the chat system, and I arrange to visit him. He’s older than me – I’ve been with boyfriend number 1 since 1989 but this guy has been with his since 1975.

He’s got a nice house, with a lovely view of the river Thames, and two dogs that are very keen on sniffing me as I walk through the door. “Stay”, he says to them as he takes me up to the bedroom. He seems to enjoy giving them orders that they ignore.

After we have a bit of fun in the bedroom we go down into his lounge. I accept a glass of water. “So where’s your boyfriend at the moment”, I ask.

“He’s at work”, he says, “but I’ll tell him I met you when he gets home. We have an open relationship. Does your boyfriend know that you’re here?”

“No”, I admit, feeling inadequate being confronted by his intended honesty. “He thinks I’m at the gym.”

“We’ll always be with each other”, he says, “but we’ve found honesty is best when it comes to sex. He has other men too of course.”

“So does he arrange to meet guys when you’re at work?” I ask, thinking about the current situation.

“Not necessarily. I’m here sometimes. I don’t watch. I just get on with whatever I’m doing while they go up to the bedroom.”

I’d find that weird. I can’t imagine walking into a relationship and taking one of the partners upstairs for a good seeing to. “So you’re never jealous?” I ask.

“Well, there was a difficult patch a couple of years ago. My boyfriend admits now that he went off the rails a bit, and that it was an aberration. He had an affair. Oh I knew about it. It only lasted three months. The other guy was here a lot of the time, and we all used to go out together.”

“What ended it then”, I ask, fascinated.

“The other guy gradually got more demanding. Wanting the two of them to go off on holiday without me. That wasn’t on. When my boyfriend told this guy that he wouldn’t leave me alone like that it all ended pretty quickly. And he admits now that he was being very silly.”

“Have you always had an open relationship like that?” I ask.

“We only really started the open relationship after we’d been together for about 20 years. But we weren’t always completely honest with each other, although we knew that we were both free to have other sexual partners. It was that affair he had that made us realise that complete honesty is the only policy that works. Does your boyfriend have other sexual partners too?”

“I’m not sure”, I say. “I wouldn’t mind if he did of course, but he’s shyer than me, so probably not. I think he may suspect that I play around a bit, but we never discuss it.”

“Well you’ve only been together for 16 years”, he laughs, “you’ll work it out”.

In most circles, a 16-year gay male relationship is remarkable. Most gay relationships don’t last more than 16 hours. But occasionally I feel humble when I meet guys like this who have lasted so much longer. The good news is that meeting other guys for fun like I do doesn’t necessarily mean that my relationship with boyfriend number 1 is doomed to a bitter ending.

On the way out, I spot a guy closing the front door. “Oh, that was the lodger”, he says. “He tells us that he’s an actor, but he never seems to have any work. He also always seems to have lots of money so I’m convinced that he’s a hooker”.

Fun in the gym sauna last Thursday

After a difficult morning at the bank last Thursday, I decide to take a late lunch break which I use to visit the gym sauna. Although the guys who use the sauna change constantly, guys who use it regularly tend to use it at a similar time of day, so by varying the time of my visits means I can vary the guys I'm likely to meet there.

I enter and there's just one guy, wearing his swimming trunks. However this guy catches my eye before looking away so I think he may be open to a bit of fun. Another guy enters, naked, who's a bit stocky. He also looks over in my direction and catches my eye, although he then looks away. So perhaps both of them are interested in participating in a bit of fun?

But a few other guys come in who are definitely not participants. Soon I leave to cool down in the shower. The guy wearing his trunks does the same.

When I go back all but one of the non-participants have left, and the stocky guy is lying down naked on his back, with his stocky cock lying exhibited on his stomach in a very obvious manner. This guy is definitely up for it, I think.

Just as the last non-participant is leaving, the original guy who was in his swimming trunks re-enters, but now he's naked too. So suddenly there are three of us in the sauna, and we're probably all up for a bit of fun.

To get things going, I stare in a fairly obvious manner at the stocky guy's cock lying on his stomach. Soon he starts to get an erection, and he sits up. I look over at other guy to see that he's has already got an erection which he's hiding behind his hands. Great! After we watch each other play with ourselves for a minute or so, the stocky guy comes over to give me a hand. We all have an enjoyable time.

New York trip 2004: Friday, final day

I wake up on Friday morning around 6:30am, snuggled up to D. I put one of my arms round him to cuddle him and he wakes up slightly too. We both know that I have to leave round 7:30am, but instead of having sex we just lie there cuddling. Eventually it’s 7:20am. “I’m going to have to go soon, you know”, I say, sounding sad.

“Yes I know”, says D, also sounding sad.

I make sure D has my e-mail address, and he gives me mine too. “I’ve really really enjoyed your company”, I say as I’m leaving, “you've turned a boring business trip into a very memorable one”.

By late afternoon I’m in the British Airways business lounge at JFK airport, thinking about D. The lounge has some Internet terminals so I decide to send him an email:

Hi D, thanks for making my visit to New York really special. Good luck with your photography and I hope you find yourself a nice boyfriend, you certainly deserve one. I will e-mail you if I come back to New York, all my love xxx

And by the time I get back to London there’s reply waiting for me from D:

thank you handsome!
you are very special... and lucky is your lover to have you by his side for all these years...
We will meet again even only as friends....
be good and always happy :):):)
D

I certainly hope to see D again on my next visit. I only met him 5 days ago and already I really care about what happens to him in the future. I hope he’ll have found himself a boyfriend by the time I visit New York again - even though it would mean that I wouldn't be able to sleep with him!

New York trip 2004: Thursday evening with D

After an uneventful day at work, I’m looking forward to seeing D in the evening. Just before 8pm I go down to wait for him outside the hotel. A few minutes later, I see him walking towards me, with a huge grin on his face. He’s clearly treating this as a date, and must have spent a lot of time getting ready. He’s wearing a colourful shirt, and looks great.

Since we’re in public I don’t go to kiss him. Instead I touch him lightly on the shoulder and smile at him, “So have you got any idea where we can go?” I ask.

“Yes, a friend told me there’s a good French restaurant a few blocks away, so let’s try there”.

As we’re walking along, D asks me about boyfriend number 1, “Does he know that you have fun with guys like me when you’re travelling?”

“No, actually he doesn’t”, I say looking a bit sheepish.

“Well if I get a boyfriend again who goes away on business trips, I can see that I’ll have to go along too!”

“So you used to have a boyfriend who went travelling?” I ask. It turns out that D used to have a European boyfriend who spent half his time back in Europe, and half in New York. But that was a couple of years ago now.

When we get to the restaurant, D looks suspicious. “Looks a bit touristy to me”, he says. “Never mind, lets trust my recommendation and see what’s it’s like”.

We order a starter and a main course. I order a glass of red wine, but D doesn’t drink and alcohol and sticks with water. Over the meal, D tells me about the European boyfriend that he used to have. Apparently D had offered to go and live with him in Europe but the offer fell on deaf ears, “so eventually we split up. I wish I had a nice boyfriend again”.

“You know, you should look after your boyfriend better”, he continues, “why do you meet guys like me when you’ve got a nice boyfriend waiting for you back in London?”

D makes me feel very guilty. The problem of course is that D is right, and D knows he’s right, and he knows that I know he’s right. He can tell he might have gone a bit far and changes the subject. “Don’t worry”, he says, “I still want to sleep with you tonight”, and he gives me one of his gorgeous smiles.

We decide that the restaurant is a bit too touristy so I pay the bill. “We can go somewhere else for dessert”, he says. “I should have trusted my instinct when we first arrived.”

Almost opposite the restaurant is one of D’s favourite Latin American restaurants so we go there for a spot of dessert. D seems to know the staff there and orders for us both in Spanish. While we’re waiting for it to arrive D spots a woman he knows who's eating at another table and beckons her over.

“Hi how are you, this is a friend of mine”, he says to her when she arrives, introducing me. She’s a lively, buxom woman probably aged around 40, and quite smartly dressed. They’re clearly old friends and they chat for short while, switching between Spanish and English.

“I’ve got more computer problems”, she says to D at one point, “can you come round sometime and see what you can do?”

“Yes of course, maybe later this week?” suggests D, “why don’t you give me a call”.

After she’s gone, D tells me that she’s one of the local prostitutes. “And fixing computers for these people is another little sideline of mine”, he says. So this must be another of his ‘various things’ he does to make money that he mentioned on Monday.

Afterwards we decide to head back to D’s place so we grab a cab. Back at D’s place he’s got a couple of dogs tonight, both different from the ones that I met on my previous visits. So I put my feet up with D takes them for a short walk.

Later, D can tell I’m still thinking about what he said, that I should take better care of boyfriend number 1. Indeed, I still feel guilty. “Are you sure you don’t want to go back to your hotel?” he offers, “I wouldn't mind”.

“No, I hate sleeping alone”, I say, smiling, “and I’ve been looking forward to another night with you all day”.

“OK, lets get ready for bed then”, says D.

While D is tidying up in the kitchen, I strip down to my undershorts and head to the bathroom to clean my teeth. “You know, you’ve got lovely legs”, he says as I’m walking back from the bathroom, “it was your legs which first attracted me to you when I saw your profile on gay.com”.

Soon D joins me on the bed and we cuddle up face to face. “You’re such a lovely guy”, I say to him, “I can’t believe you don’t have a boyfriend”. D looks slightly sad, perhaps thinking about his former European boyfriend. “You know”, I continue, “although I meet a lot of guys on my travels, I can tell that not many of them would make good boyfriends. But one day you'll be a great boyfriend for some lucky guy.”

“Really”, say D smiling, “so you don’t meet many guys who you think would make good boyfriends?”

“No, very few indeed. You’re very special.”

Needless to say, we have a some fun together before going to sleep in each other’s arms. We have another lovely night together. D is indeed a very special guy.

New York trip 2004: Wednesday evening with D

Around lunchtime I call D to confirm the evening meeting. “Why don’t you come round at about 8pm”, he says.

“Great. Can we get something to eat somewhere near you?” I ask him.

“Yes OK. There’s a cheap Japanese restaurant that’s only a block away that we can go to.”

In the evening I have a bit of difficulty getting a cab and I arrive a bit late around 8:20pm. But D is happy that I’ve come and lets me in.

“That’s not the same dog you had when I was here a couple of days ago, is it?” I ask him when I get inside his apartment.

“No, actually I get paid for looking after dogs”, he admits, with a grin on his face. So this must be one of the ‘various things’ that D was talking about on Monday when I asked him what job he did!

On the way to restaurant, D tells me that New Yorkers love their pets and will pay huge amounts of money to have them looked after reliably when they can’t do it themselves. “There’s a rich guy who’ll pay me enough to cover my rent just to walk his dog every day!”

We have a nice Japanese meal. I tell him that I used to work for a Japanese bank, so I’ve spent some time in Tokyo. “Yes, Japanese guys are lovely”, I admit. The meal only costs $30 for two, so we split the bill.

Back in his apartment, he tells me to make myself comfortable. “I’ve just got to walk the dog round the block.” So I take off my shoes and watch the TV while he’s out.

When he gets back, he comes and sits down on the sofa next to me. “Do you have a different dog to look after every night?” I ask him. But instead of answering, he smiles, puts one hand on my shoulder, and kisses me.

We spend the next hour or more kissing, cuddling, undressing each other, and finally playing with each other on the bed. I'm fascinated by D's lovely long black hair. Just as on Monday night, we have a wonderful time.

Afterwards, D he lets me stay the night again. “You know, if you hadn’t stayed and slept with me on Monday morning I wouldn’t have wanted to see you again!” he says. Lucky for me that I did sleep with him on Monday morning because I think D is a gorgeous guy. We cuddle a lot during the night, and I get more sleep that I did early on Monday morning, which is great. I feel very comfortable being with D. In the morning we have sex again.

“Tonight’s my last night in New York - on this trip anyway”, I say as I’m getting dressed. “Would you like to go out somewhere with me in the evening?”

“You mean, on a sort of date?” says D.

Well yes, I suppose that is what I mean, but I didn’t think of it like that. I nod. “Perhaps we could have supper together somewhere?” I add.

We agree that D will meet me outside my hotel in Midtown around 8pm. He’ll get some ideas for a restaurant we could go to from some friends of his. Around 7:30am I give him a hug and a kiss, and head off to my hotel to get ready for the day ahead.

New York trip 2004: missing D's company on Tuesday

As anticipated, there is an event with my colleagues from the bank that I have to attend on Tuesday evening. But it’s all over by 8pm. Why didn’t I arrange to meet D?

I have some work I could do so I go back to my hotel, set up my laptop, and order some room service for my evening meal. Later, I’m feeling bored so I log on to gay.com. Why didn’t I arrange to visit D?

I get chatting to a few guys, and one turns out to be in another hotel, very very close to the hotel I’m staying in. He’s a bit older than I am, and quite stocky too, so not really my type. None the less I visit him, strip for him, and let him jerk me off. Afterwards I feel sordid. Why didn’t I arrange to visit D?