Not everyone has good organisational skills

Last Friday, I got an email from a gay male reader. This reader told me that during a recent encounter with another guy, he had remembered my claim to be an organised person:

reader: This evening, I was on an "encounter" and I mentioned you to him. This guy was complaining that he didn't have enough time in his day for b/f, encounters, work, rest and hobbies. "Get yourself organised," I told him, "it works for a gay banker I know!!"

Presumably the conversation that the reader is referring to was after activities, and not during! Anyway, after I'd exchanged a few more emails with this reader, he told me the full story about the encounter:

Wednesday evening, after supper with some mates, I get home late with the b/f. After a while, b/f goes upstairs to bed as is customary, because he likes to have a cool bed to get into! I log on to gaydar and within a few minutes, I'm accosted by a handsome South American guy I have spoken to once or twice already. His manner is a little abrupt, but I am used to this now and he seems friendly, as opposed to just a boorish "pics m8, watcha into" kind of guy. But who can tell?

Anyhow, he tells me about a 3 way that he and his mate, who I'll call X, have just had. I search for X and he looks like a very sexy bloke, something in his eyes and expression. My thoughts are that I would like very much at some point to have an encounter with X, and send a cheeky message to him saying 'hello' and 'how lovely it'd be to meet if he would like some other night'. After all, I know that he has already had his oats this evening! X's response is positive and I go to bed feeling content.

The following evening X sends me a message while I am cooking supper for myself, as my b/f is out on an encounter of his own. His message goes something like "Are you online, and would you like to come round this evening, in about an hour as I am presently cooking dinner". I was, I would and I did! I greedily eat up the chicken soup that I'd cooked myself, and manage to arrive at his home at around 10.00.

He was indeed a lovely looking guy, and was most hospitable and welcoming. His home was DREADFUL however, packed with boxes and nick knacks, dusty bottles of firewater from around the globe, china figurines, piles of JUNK everywhere and nowhere to sit. He had a leather covered sofa too, which seemed slightly fetishistic, for some reason, something to do with its context as opposed to just the leather. It was all a little strange, to me at least, and I wondered how he lived like that. I even asked. His answer was "come and see the bedroom".

We moved into the bedroom and NASTY is the only word. It was cold in there, like a storeroom with a bed in the middle. I shivered and made do, as he was hugely physically attractive to me, and I figured that once we began to fool around I'd forget the decor and warm up too! We did have a fun old time, and I did warm up and forget the assault to my visual senses that was his home, but once we finished and were lying there [NOT cuddling :-( ] I came back to it all.

So I asked him outright, "Why is your home such a complete mess?"

Abrupt old me, straight to the point, not always a diplomat, foot in mouth etc. I did think he might be offended, but I was smiling as I said it, and I wanted to know. His answer?

"I don't have time, what with my b/f and meeting guys on the net, running marathons, work, fun travel, my home just gets left out."

You know what my answer was ...