Relationships with bisexual men: a cautionary tale

I recently received an update from a reader who emailed me for advice almost 4 years ago. She had been living with a guy who had confided to her that he was bisexual, although he said that he hadn't acted on his feelings for men, and that he wanted a relationship with her. At the time, because of the details of their situation, neither I nor most of the readers who left comments thought that continuing a relationship with him would be a good idea. Her recent email was as follows:

Dear GB,

It's been four years since you last wrote to me and I just want to update you on what happened.

Against your advice, we still maintained the relationship because I really loved him. We recently celebrated our 6th year as a couple. During those years, I thought we were as happy as we could be. Our sexual life diminished somewhat and sometimes deep in my heart I knew that lacking passion for each other wasn't right; but barring that, we had a steady, happy relationship. I was even expecting a marriage proposal sometime this year.

However, just last night, he confessed that he couldn't control his feelings for other men any longer. He is slowly starting to accept the fact that he may be a homosexual. We've finally broken up for good, but we ended things well and are still friends. It may be 4 years too late; but at least now I am finally free to look for a man who will completely and fully love me, and he can learn to accept his real self and be truly happy.

I just want to tell you and those kind hearted people who commented on the blog that you were right. A person should be free to explore his/her true self, no matter what. I'm sorry I didn't take your advice sooner; I was blinded by love. I hope that other readers who are in the same situation will take a look at my experience and learn from it. :)

Thanks so much for giving me the advice. I reread it now and it still strikes a chord within me.

You may be thousands of miles away, but know that you have really helped changed my life. :)

Have a great day!

Lots of love,

I take no joy in finding out that our advice turned out to be correct. Anyway, let's all wish her the very best of luck in finding a nice heterosexual man who can give her the love and devotion that she deserves.