tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post2237721285025761272..comments2024-01-08T00:18:57.750+00:00Comments on Gay Banker: Email from a broken-hearted gay guyGBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07046768019709916759noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-79074565551127085952008-08-30T14:04:00.000+01:002008-08-30T14:04:00.000+01:00Time wounds all heals.This was a moving and though...Time wounds all heals.<BR/><BR/>This was a moving and thoughtful post. The writer sounds like the guy I just walked away from but a whole lot more sincere. Has the writer told the guy he's in love with how he feels? Has he told him what he wants? That might be a good place to start. It might even help him get to a place where he can move on if need be.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-27861515750833971242008-08-29T22:54:00.000+01:002008-08-29T22:54:00.000+01:00I guess what the writer has gone thru, well we all...I guess what the writer has gone thru, well we all have gone thru in our live, one way or the other, its a sad human exp. - but the past can not be your future, as some once said - look ahead, live is a road you should travel!<BR/>DamienAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-13616653274399638042008-08-29T13:47:00.000+01:002008-08-29T13:47:00.000+01:00Hey, I've never been accused of making a usefu...Hey, I've never been accused of making a useful comment before! Careful, it might go to my head!<BR/><BR/>Okay, risking life and limb in attempting another useful social observation...<BR/><BR/>I'm seeing:<BR/><BR/>Young<BR/>Passive<BR/>Bear movement<BR/>Emotionally naive<BR/><BR/>Now, let me channel Dionne Warwick and her Psychic Friends Network...<BR/><BR/>Okay, I can relate! Gosh. I've been on both sides of the fence at one time or another. <BR/><BR/>Okay, the long version, or the short one? Erm... let's find out.<BR/><BR/>You're growing up emotionally. It happens to us all. Some of us have a smooth ride (and hence often remain quite immature) whilst others get punched in the gut at every turn. Eventually you learn to read the punches early and roll with them, most of the time.<BR/><BR/>Trust me when I say that in the long run it's better that this stuff happens to you than not. You will end up a much wiser, happier, more fulfilled person.<BR/><BR/>Throughout our lives we often meet people who we immediately trust or fall for and who we basically get screwed over by. <BR/><BR/>At times like these we experience huge growth spurts in our psyche, but they're traumatic and they often temporarily damage the ego. The 'whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger' adage is 100% correct. You will have subconsiously learned from this experience which will equip you better for the future. <BR/><BR/>What you're going to see later on is that you may well do the same thing to other people. It's not because you're a bad person - it's because circumstances often dictate your actions. Maybe it's a twisted version of karma. Most bad things someone does to you, you end up doing to someone else. That gives you perspective on why the other person treated you a certain way and allows you to let go of the anger.<BR/><BR/>I very much doubt that this guy you fell for was a bad guy. Had circumstances been different then maybe you two stood a chance. It sounds like he was *meant* to be with his ex-, though, or even if he wasn't meant to be with him that they had unfinished business together. You just have to accept that and move on. It will take time, though. The chances are that if you ever meet this guy in the future you'll wonder why you felt so much for him as you'll be in a different emotional place.<BR/><BR/>Erm... what else... ah, passive and bear movement! Okay, so there's something about the bear movement that breeds a certain exaggerated dynamic between some couples... the whole bear vs cub thing. When I was younger I guess I bought into that somewhat, though I'd never have admitted it. Not these days, though. You have to be responsible for yourself, otherwise you'll never fully stand on your own two feet. The bear/cub thing always seemed to me to be an exaggerated fur-filled version of the old Greek way of life where young men would be reared (ooh-er missus) by older, more experienced fellows. I think maybe that's why there's quite a strong S&M following amongst bearish folk... something to do with the desire to be loved whilst dominated.<BR/><BR/>Gosh, this is setting me up for the weekend! Must break out the handcuffs! <BR/><BR/>That wasn't helpful, was it?<BR/><BR/>One last adage: time heals all wounds. Give it time and for god's sake be careful/safe along the way. It doesn't sound like a smart idea to be going to saunas while you're in the state you are. Just my 2c... though I did... Ach, go along, have fun, but make sure whatever you do there is something *you* want to do.Ken Skinnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02970490152285414561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-19087677845828226042008-08-29T01:38:00.000+01:002008-08-29T01:38:00.000+01:00Goodness, this email chain makes the World feel so...Goodness, this email chain makes the World feel so small and intimate. I've just recently been battling the same thoughts with a guy that I'd been seeing, I got panicky and lost sleep. What was the answer for me? I decided to start a blog and since doing so, I've found clarity in my head and I've actually slept solid nights through. My blog now holds my pent up stress and disappointment leaving me to live life. I make it sound like a horror but it really isn't :)<BR/><BR/>I think GB has provided some excellent advice above so allow yourself the freedom to belt your thoughts into cyberspace.Charliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13116635395800855814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-86066860658502709112008-08-28T21:55:00.000+01:002008-08-28T21:55:00.000+01:00This reader's situation is eerily similar to mine....This reader's situation is eerily similar to mine. I totally understand what he's going through. Mine ended 6 months ago, lasted 9 months. I sometimes still wish I never met him cause I haven't been able to be as happy/nonchalant as I used to be. I can't say it's all ok now, but for that reader out there, it does get better with time. Albeit slowly! HAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-45033424813184416232008-08-28T20:22:00.000+01:002008-08-28T20:22:00.000+01:00I think it is ironic how all/many of us are search...I think it is ironic how all/many of us are searching for someone here and are having a hard time finding him. You would think that gays have it much easier to find someone than straight people, but do we really? <BR/>My straight girl friend remains fascinated by the fact that I can sleep with someone without knowing there name and whenever she brings it up I always have the same answer: Men know what they want.<BR/><BR/>The heartbreak situation sounds terrible though. I would suggest ice cream but you probably already tried that. Hope you find a solution reader!Davidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08577070590597961929noreply@blogger.com