tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post3212073887408431937..comments2024-01-08T00:18:57.750+00:00Comments on Gay Banker: Email from a gay guy with a difficult colleagueGBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07046768019709916759noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-2674014564379013842011-02-20T13:20:01.286+00:002011-02-20T13:20:01.286+00:00Just tell him you already have a father, you dont ...Just tell him you already have a father, you dont need another one <br /><br />:-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-4241173778468224012010-04-11T14:38:20.554+01:002010-04-11T14:38:20.554+01:00I feel bad for the older guy as well.
What a sad,...I feel bad for the older guy as well.<br /><br />What a sad, sad, lonely existence he must be living to try to pursue a colleague at work who could probably be old enough to be his grandson.<br /><br />Are there really no such thing as older gay dating sites. Or maybe a club he could join perhaps? If anything he should be the one on the receiving end about how to make gay friends.<br /><br />Almost makes me wonder if anyone else at the office knows the older guy is gay. Imagine if he was over 50 and still closeted?? Wow.Erichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15044335989807883589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-37724765095202989462010-04-11T06:29:53.422+01:002010-04-11T06:29:53.422+01:00Good lord. That was EXACTLY what I had been thinki...Good lord. That was EXACTLY what I had been thinking when I read your email. Make it obvious that you choose to use the stalls if he is in the toilet at the same time as you.<br /><br />By the way, good to hear it's stopped. I feel bad for the older guy, but it's no reason to make others around him uncomfortable.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-28844641272848087342010-04-10T23:21:22.687+01:002010-04-10T23:21:22.687+01:00Great to hear that things are working better. It ...Great to hear that things are working better. It is one of the sad facts that not all gay men are well adjusted (I blame it more on the being in the closet experience rather than any malice on their part), and many of us have been at the receiving end of that, and it is awkward (and sometimes awful). <br /><br />My thought is that if you're after gay friends, dating profiles aren't the way to go, as people will be assessing you either for a quicky or for a lifelong relationship, but not so much for a friendship. Lots of cities now have gay networking events, gay sports teams, gay dinner clubs, etc. Look at your local gay newspaper or search the web. Yes, you'll still meet some freaks at these things, but there are nice guys out there who might not want you as a boyfriend, but are good friendship material.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-52282074793862133152010-04-10T17:55:14.491+01:002010-04-10T17:55:14.491+01:00Hi guys, I'm the one who sent the Dear GB emai...Hi guys, I'm the one who sent the Dear GB email.. Thanks for your comments.<br /><br />Since sending the email, something happened after which he has stopped completely. I think it is an incident in the toilet, he was at the urinals, and as soon as I saw him, I turned around towards the stalls. Another colleague was present who might have noticed this? I think it is after this that everything has stopped.<br /><br />As for his suggestions, I actually did something similar as Anonymous has commented. I have asked him to jot them in an email to me, with my boss in CC. Total suggestions since: 0!<br />So work front is fine now.<br /><br />It's a good experience in any case!<br /><br />Now with part 2: making gay friends in a new city! I'm writing up a gaydar and guardian dating profile.. Not looking for quickies, well at least not yet :PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-59267828678670527982010-04-10T13:21:02.608+01:002010-04-10T13:21:02.608+01:00I'd also ask how well you gets on with his oth...I'd also ask how well you gets on with his other colleagues and particularly your direct boss. <br /><br />If not well, and you can't improve those ties to the point that your colleagues will support you, then I'd be looking to leave. I know it is unfair, but it is difficult to see how you can come out of the work situation well.<br /><br />If you do get on well with others, and you feel that you have the support of your direct boss, then you're in a much better position. At least where he's interfering with your work, you can have a chat to your boss (this issue has nothing to do with sexuality), and get some clarity on whether his suggestions are good, and whether they might be better given via your boss. <br /><br />Also, having the support of your team and having them around reduces the chance of him being inappropriate, and if he is, increases the chance of others spotting it.<br /><br />Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-84311859452258321352010-04-09T09:57:31.703+01:002010-04-09T09:57:31.703+01:00What an unpleasant situation. :-(
Some subtle in...What an unpleasant situation. :-(<br /><br />Some subtle interference with his work attention might be useful. Always use a locked stall in the loo and avoid the urinals. If he does try anything there it's really clearcut that he must be dismissed.<br /><br />Ask other colleagues why he's trying to contribute to your area when he has little expertise or relavance. It's a way of drawing their attention to the fact that something is amiss with his behaviour. When he tries to interfere with your work, make sure a relevant colleague is always present. Walk to their desk if necessary to take up the conversation with them leaving him to follow if he must.<br /><br />If you do your best to include a third person as much of the time as is practical, he'll eventually have to show them that his attention is perhaps inapproriate.<br /><br />Best of luck!Sir Wobinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10329220412552005890noreply@blogger.com