tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post3781138351390499765..comments2024-01-08T00:18:57.750+00:00Comments on Gay Banker: Fire IslandGBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07046768019709916759noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-91197636878347600282007-06-17T20:25:00.000+01:002007-06-17T20:25:00.000+01:00Nice to know that Fire Island is a nice vacation s...Nice to know that Fire Island is a nice vacation spot for gay people. Will checkout sometime. <BR/><BR/>I agree with Patrick. What is more important is enjoying your life in a truthful manner. Dont worry about how others define relationship. <BR/><BR/>By the way , how you get time to write this long posts while working in the banking field. I heard banking life is hectic and there wont be much time for personal life. But from your story , I see you have more time for personal life.<BR/><BR/>I am thinking about getting a career change to MBA. But not sure if I do it or not because of the long hours. <BR/><BR/>cheers...indian bear cubTapakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06040968718728982546noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-16460767975040432562007-06-16T23:24:00.000+01:002007-06-16T23:24:00.000+01:00I think the problem is that we often place so much...I think the problem is that we often place so much emphasis on the label, rather than the underlying substance, which more effectively describes the actuality of what truly exists. With this in mind, I think our perspective changes as we mature.<BR/><BR/>Until you're about somewhere in the 24-26 age range, your hormones are in complete control of you. It's the age of exploration... go out and be wild and crazy. People who get married at this age, generally speaking, aren't at all ready to make a commitment (which explains the high divorce rate). If all goes well, you gain a level of maturity around your mid-twenties to recognize "hey, I really am an adult now", and consequently, choices and decisions are made to reflect that. <BR/><BR/>Still, there are many things to learn as part of being a "full-fledged adult". I think part of that is to accept more "going with the flow" than trying to force things to go your way. As one who is beginning to see myself enter the so-called "mid-life" part of life, I feel much more inclined to go with the flow, than work against it. A saying I've heard.. I think it has Taoist origins.. "If you're pushed, then pull... if you're pulled, then push". In other words, work with energy, not against it.<BR/><BR/>So back to the topic, as I recall bf#2 is in his early/mid-30's. Seems to me that he might not quite have reached the stage where he understands "acceptance". He wants that label of "boyfriend", because that in his mind, translates to you being there. He loses sight of the substance... the fact you like him, spend time together when you can, exchange emails/MSN messages... and falls back on wanting that label. <BR/><BR/>If I'm correct, I believe you said bf#2 is Asian. Though I hate sterotyping, I think there is some validity (based on my own observations) that Asian (as well as Latin) cultures are more family oriented than say, American or European cultures. For example, if I read a posting on Craigslist in the hookups section that begins "I am looking for a relationship...", four times out of five said poster is Asian. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but in the case of bf#2, something to keep in mind to help understand where he's coming from.<BR/><BR/>I think you're taking the right approach, that is.. you can't get wrapped up in worrying whether you're playing too much with his affections. You've been honest and upfront about where you stand and your actions are in complete compliance with this. Since he's fully aware, you really can't take on the burden of how it may undesirably affect him. <BR/><BR/>Hopefully he'll come to realize that being known as his "boyfriend" really isn't what its all about. It's really the sum of everything you do together, how you interact.. that's what really matters. It's really too bad when some people work so hard on focusing at defining what their "relationship" is, rather than simply kicking back, enjoying each moment you share together, and leave it at that. But that is what goes towards the "true meaning of life".. learning lessons through our choices and actions.<BR/><BR/>:)Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06536516942332654638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-13157253820136757052007-06-16T18:25:00.000+01:002007-06-16T18:25:00.000+01:00I guess I mean that I'm going to stop worrying abo...I guess I mean that I'm going to stop worrying about whether I should be boyfriend number 2's part-time boyfriend or not, and just get on with it! All my boyfriends like to be financially independent, but then I think they also like having a guy like me around, because they know I'd try and support them if they wanted me to :-)<BR/><BR/>GB xxxGBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07046768019709916759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-54276208062434639972007-06-16T15:59:00.000+01:002007-06-16T15:59:00.000+01:00"I think I should focus my concerns elsewhere" - w..."I think I should focus my concerns elsewhere" - what do you mean ?<BR/><BR/>Are you saying that you accept that you may always have to financially look after BF1 and BF2 ??<BR/><BR/>btw, Fire Island sounds like an interesting place, but don't you normally advocate integration rather than segregation ???close encountershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11493608927198507173noreply@blogger.com