tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post5537714549668109017..comments2024-01-08T00:18:57.750+00:00Comments on Gay Banker: Email from a female reader with a bisexual ex-boyfriendGBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07046768019709916759noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-88644402609056055072008-04-21T16:33:00.000+01:002008-04-21T16:33:00.000+01:00He is on a long road ahead of him. You will have ...He is on a long road ahead of him. You will have to deal with his fantasies and desires for men and he will wihthold your needs and maybe resent you for not letting him explore. Strong will has nothing to do with it, these are things that can destroy a person if they deny them. He may seemed pulled together now, but it will eat at him like a cancer. If you truely love him, let him go and fullfill his fantasies. <BR/><BR/>I rushed into a marriage and had a baby with a man that sweeped me off my feet. I found gay porn and he confessed he had curiousities and then became distant. No one would ever be able to tell if you met him, he is very masculine and had a good job at the time. He just couldn't handle the 'lie' and be faithful to me anymore. We will end up being very good friends, but why submit yourself to this when you can just be friends now. He pretty much told you it would be a lie to be the you husband you probally deserve and want. He will NEVER be that man because it will not complete him. Do you want to be with someone that has to force themselves to live this life?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-79641467267468764532007-11-16T03:12:00.000+00:002007-11-16T03:12:00.000+00:00Personally,I would not trust him. I think, he want...Personally,I would not trust him. I think, he wants to have kids. Once he is tired of fooling with himself, he would try to leave you and would want to take his kids. It is funny, I might do the same thing as he did. <BR/>I am always worried how I have my own kids without going through a lot of hassles. Any suggestions?<BR/><BR/>Oh, yeah! There is no such thing as bisexuality!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-24793579554163967252007-10-22T22:42:00.000+01:002007-10-22T22:42:00.000+01:00Everyone who leaves a comment cares too Soul Seare...Everyone who leaves a comment cares too <A HREF="http://www.blogger.com/profile/02678928359782830807" REL="nofollow">Soul Seared Dreamer</A> :-).<BR/><BR/>And just to make us all feel good about that, I was fascinated when someone at work pointed out <A HREF="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoner's_dilemma" REL="nofollow">The Prisioner's Dilemma</A> to me today. If you click on that link, scroll down to "The iterated prisoner's dilemma". It's basically a mathematical demonstration that nice guys win in the end!<BR/><BR/>GB xxxGBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07046768019709916759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-78074938034126323472007-10-22T17:02:00.000+01:002007-10-22T17:02:00.000+01:00I think if he has been honest with her, she should...I think if he has been honest with her, she should trust him.<BR/><BR/>But that said, he is pretty likely to act on it at some point, and at that time, she may get hurt pretty bad.<BR/><BR/>She should tread carefully. She knows this guy better than anyone here, and she should trust her judgment on him.<BR/><BR/>GB - you need to change your name to <I>Agony Uncle</I>... its nice to know someone out there cares for other people's problems.Soul Seared Dreamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02678928359782830807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-48079728170080889742007-10-22T10:50:00.000+01:002007-10-22T10:50:00.000+01:00Being able to talk honestly about the issues is a ...Being able to talk honestly about the issues is a great first step. Deceit is a very poor platform on which to build a life together. That said, timing is crucial.<BR/><BR/>Timing for him to figure out his desires and disclose... Timing for them both to decide whether they want a life together etc. Only they can figure this out but let this remain in your thoughts. Bad news seldom gets better with time. Good news frequently deteriorates with time. Talking earlier probably puts you in better standing.<BR/><BR/>Even if you figure things out now, a life commitment means being able to cope with change together. It's lovely to hear that you satisfy each other now but both of your needs will definitely change over time. That will be true with any partner.<BR/><BR/>I think this guy has lots going for him that he's able to talk to the reader and deal with very hard issues like this. This isn't just about gay/bi/straight. Some women marry husbands who don't talk much and cheat with other women later on.<BR/><BR/>Dealing with his feelings with a therapist is nice but there's really no substitute for a good bit of c*ck, as the reader probably well knows. :-)Sir Wobinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10329220412552005890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-68082465584890237362007-10-22T04:54:00.000+01:002007-10-22T04:54:00.000+01:00based on my experience of bi men.. they always act...based on my experience of bi men.. they always act on it.. eventually. Maybe at a much later age. Can the lady deal with this later on? Or does she turn a blind eye to this? I know a couple of bi men that do that and their wives turn a blind eye to it as they are good fathers and husbands.. in some ways it even keeps the marriage going strong. That longing for male company never leaves.. so if you stay with him you have to accept that as part of the bargain. I guess he has been honest.. but be careful, sounds like your society has a lot of pressure and he may just need to conform and have a normal life. You need to look at yourself first and see if you can deal with this.Tales of the Cityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13182054767759882522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-27871694583938869832007-10-22T00:29:00.000+01:002007-10-22T00:29:00.000+01:00i'd be very careful if i were her.i'd be very careful if i were her.Paisidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15903394398068167438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-36752111263297095282007-10-21T23:05:00.000+01:002007-10-21T23:05:00.000+01:00I wouldn't trust him to enter into a monogamous re...I wouldn't trust him to enter into a monogamous relationshp at this point in his development. Even before I read your take on the situation, a big red flag went up over his not being willing to give homosex a try. And when he says he'll suppress his attraction to men forever, that gets REALLY scary.<BR/><BR/>This man has no basis by which to honestly evaluate his situation without having sex with a man. He's a time bomb waiting to go off in this woman's heart and in their relationship.Willhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14279473113628377106noreply@blogger.com