tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post6312923347495956082..comments2024-01-08T00:18:57.750+00:00Comments on Gay Banker: Email from a young gay guy in a long distance relationshipGBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07046768019709916759noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-76219153037925916992007-04-28T23:44:00.000+01:002007-04-28T23:44:00.000+01:00^ sorry, i disagree, the only one to blame for lie...^ sorry, i disagree, the only one to blame for lies of any kind, is the person who tells the lies.<BR/><BR/>lying really is pathetic in the majority of cases, particularly when over something so insignificant like age.muse-ichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17181456616650486841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-48446105591309119082007-04-28T10:25:00.000+01:002007-04-28T10:25:00.000+01:00To muse-ic and jla:I think GB mentioned in an earl...To muse-ic and jla:<BR/>I think GB mentioned in an earlier post that society is to blame for lying about one's age. I know, don't we all wish to live in the good old ancient Greek times when it was common for old guys to shagg young boys as a "spiritual mentor" and to pass on their "wisdom" through their sperm. But modern society, pop culture and Hollywood robbed old people their existence as sexual beings, how cruel and unfair!<BR/><BR/>My bf offered me the explanation that he's always felt mentally younger than his physical age, meaning that there was a mismatch between his self-perception and society's perception of his age group, or simply that he refuses to grow up (also known as Peter Pan/Michael Jackson-syndrome). He claims that we get along so well and can relate to each other because I'm so much more mature than my own age group (meaning that mentally we're both 21 and always will be :-)<BR/><BR/>And to GB: You said that your sex drive has gradually decreased as you've got older. Don't believe a single word of it! I mean if that's true, how on earth did you survive your early twenties?! Shagging everything that moves? Constant masturbation? Prozac? ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-3745518874880972622007-04-27T20:19:00.000+01:002007-04-27T20:19:00.000+01:00i'm 24 and my (first and only) bf is 10 years olde...i'm 24 and my (first and only) bf is 10 years older than myself (i dont know if that's considered a lot older), but i think as long as the communication is there and both parties are in tune with each other and they see the direction of their relationship, i don't see a problem, so yes, age is really just a number.<BR/><BR/>granted, in my case, me and my bf both believe in monogamy in the strictest sense (no sex with other guys PERIOD), and even though i couldn't possibly picture myself being with another guy, i can still see the view of this young guy in an ldr as well as gb's.jasonvivahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02597236191486724048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-57322145789437188032007-04-27T02:49:00.000+01:002007-04-27T02:49:00.000+01:00I am 48 and have never lied about my age on the Ne...I am 48 and have never lied about my age on the Net -- why start off with a lie?<BR/><BR/>As for the post at hand, seems as if Young Gay Guy wants the best of both worlds -- the security of being with a solid person and the freedom to f*** around as he sees fit. If the other partner agrees, more power to you, I guess. If not, then you have to make a choice and your tone suggests you want out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-74336116508195931392007-04-26T13:40:00.000+01:002007-04-26T13:40:00.000+01:00Hi guys,I'm the one who wrote this email to GB. Th...Hi guys,<BR/><BR/>I'm the one who wrote this email to GB. Thanks to you all for your comments and advices, especially enda p and will. You both make a very good point here...<BR/><BR/>The thing is that I still love my bf a lot and I do feel happy being with him. Apart from the age thing, he's got most of the attributes I'm looking for in a partner and I definately cherish what we have. But at the same time I'm still wondering if I can "have it all" in life. So I guess I will go with GB's advice of staying together with my bf while being open to new adventures with younger hotties. In the end, are we all constantly looking for more and better, someone to "upgrade" us?<BR/><BR/>I guess the obvious lesson I've learned from this is that one should never ever trust internet dating! :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-49949304489832987172007-04-25T20:10:00.000+01:002007-04-25T20:10:00.000+01:00lying about age is just one thing i have never und...lying about age is just one thing i have never understood - what on earth is the point?!muse-ichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17181456616650486841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-89604808945337467512007-04-25T19:49:00.000+01:002007-04-25T19:49:00.000+01:00There is a huge variety of style in gay life. The...There is a huge variety of style in gay life. There is no "one way" to do things as in the conventional hetero myth of fidelity once one has become attached. <BR/><BR/>What matters is that a gay couple talk things out and decide what works for them, specifically. I know a couple, together for something like 25 years or more, who have a totally open relationship--armies of men have passed through their lives and between their bed sheets. They adore each other and are a splendid couple. <BR/><BR/>With others, one transgression and there's hurt and a break-up. <BR/><BR/>The young man who wrote Gay banker mentioned being told that his older lover was not the jealous type. I was told "We're gay men--sex happens." This is the sign of a wise, secure, realistic, generous (and I don't mean financially) older man who has genuine affection for a younger partner and understands his needs and drives. Personally, I wouldn't be so quick to end the relationship. Such a man is a rare thing, and something to be cherished.Willhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14279473113628377106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-14071092536271657002007-04-25T15:37:00.000+01:002007-04-25T15:37:00.000+01:00It is pretty obvious that you will end up the rela...It is pretty obvious that you will end up the relationship soon or later.<BR/><BR/>You already have doubts now, dont make it more difficult for you to take the exit by living with him.<BR/><BR/>I am sure he could be a great friend.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-20516526402297356252007-04-25T01:49:00.000+01:002007-04-25T01:49:00.000+01:00you're young and if you're having such doubts now,...you're young and if you're having such doubts now, well, it's rather obvious I think. All those 'little' things which bug you about him and the relationship, they are not likely to go away, so if you honestly don't think you can, or want to.....<BR/><BR/>on a side note, I never really realised how pervasive this 'internet age' thing is. It has never crossed my mind to lie about my age, and naively i've always taken what people tell me about their age as the truth to. Perhaps at 28, I still feel young, though in gay years, i'm probably hitting middle age now.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-50954484764933142052007-04-24T21:36:00.000+01:002007-04-24T21:36:00.000+01:00At the end of the day, you need to be happy. Do yo...At the end of the day, you need to be happy. Do you feel happy with your boyfriend at the moment? Age is just a numberAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-31185696959459039752007-04-24T08:35:00.000+01:002007-04-24T08:35:00.000+01:00since deep inside I don't really see any long-term...<I>since deep inside I don't really see any long-term future for us both.</I><BR/><BR/>Sounds like the correspondent has asked and answered his own question. To mangle Oscar Wilde, "we have established that you want out, we're just haggling over the exit strategy".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com