Sunday, October 22, 2006

Should I change the name of this blog?

I'm a very lucky guy. It's now official - I have two boyfriends :-). In my eyes of course, I've had more than one boyfriend for quite a while, but perhaps no one else saw it like that! For example, some people think that I've got one boyfriend and maybe a few fuckbuddies. But surely the important thing is how the people involved see it?

At last, the situation is that
  • Boyfriend number 1 and boyfriend number 2 both refer to me as their boyfriend :-)
  • Boyfriend number 1 and boyfriend number 2 both refer to each other as a boyfriend of mine :-)
  • And of course, I'm very happy to be a boyfriend to both of them :-)
It was over the summer that boyfriend number 1 first used the term 'boyfriend' in connection with boyfriend number 2.

"I suppose I'll get used to him as long as I never have to meet him", said boyfriend number 1, "he's effectively another boyfriend".

And recently, as I've been planning to go away on holiday with boyfriend number 2 again, it's clear that boyfriend number 1 finally seems happy with the situation. He used to think that I might leave him to be with boyfriend number 2, which is what caused the problems when I tried to go away on holiday with boyfriend number 2 last spring. But he now knows that I won't leave him, and that I'd much rather have two boyfriends that either of them on their own.

With boyfriend number 2, at one point when we were on holiday together last year we agreed to pretend to be each other's boyfriend to make the situation easier for other people to understand. But that's not the same thing as actually believing that we're each other's boyfriend. Although I haven't seen him since July 2005, I've been in very regular contact with him via e-mail, MSN, and telephone. It became clear a few months ago that he was open to the idea of being a boyfriend of mine in these polyamorous circumstances. And now, following a very recent conversation, I know that he's been referring to me as his boyfriend in conversations at work.

The holiday with boyfriend number 2 had been imminent but unfortunately, because of boyfriend number 2's work situation, we've had to postpone for a month. So now the holiday will probably be in December.

"I told my bosses that my London boyfriend will be very upset", boyfriend number 2 said to me last week.

"Well tell them how much it's costing us to postpone", I said, "if you want to impress them that should do the trick!"

It's a real pain having to postpone, but in the circumstances there was nothing else we could do.

Although I think of boyfriend number 3 as a boyfriend too, at the moment I know he thinks of me as a fuckbuddy (although that may be starting to change). But so what! I'm still a very lucky guy to have two wonderful boyfriends :-). So do I need to rename this blog "Things I can't tell my boyfriends"?

16 comments:

KA said...

Yay you!! As long as everyone's happy! :)

gayboydiary said...

That's just greedy! but I'm happy for you ;-)

GBD xxx

czechOUT said...

polyamory...almost. How much nicer if you could all live together in the same home, city, country...but, it still wouldn't be enough? Polyamory-the chance to have more love. I suspect you feel the need to be "loved" by more than 2 men. So, you have polyamory and FBs

life is dificult, complex and for each of us in a different way.

Does all this make you happ, content. Or is there something missing still-always?

Hey, just some random Sunday afternoon thoughts!
x

Steve said...

wow, i've read your blog for a while, I don't know why its such a difficult concept for me to get my head around having more than one boyfriend, to me its always one and one only, but if it works for you who the hell is anyone to judge, have fun! x

Life of a Banana said...

I'm so mortified that you blog about us!!!hehheheh

muse-ic said...

the secret life of GB...makes you aound less greedy, hehe

The Accidental Activist said...

It's not so complicated. And seeing as no.2 is a long way away, they never have to meet...

S said...

WOW congrats GB! It seems like you are very happy and in that case, I am happy for you. Perhaps you should rename this blog in order to give these two men's position a more official status in your life.

XoX
SaF

cuteCTguy said...

Yep Saf.. it should read the things my boyfriends dont know that I get up to at the sauna, gaydar etc.. Well GB sounds like you are trying to be happy. My dutch friend had a gay friend in Amsterdam who had 2 boyfriends and they lived together and shared the same bed. Also I know of a guy (no longer thanks to his jealous boyfriend No 1)who left his wife to be with two guys (all in the lovely island of Jersey)... this was complicated as there was a dominant boyf (like you?).. he made sure my ex-friend did not keep in touch with other men! But again they shared a house. Though the No 2 in the realtionship got jealous and end the 3some. My friend got severely burnt. But like a sucker he went back for more. Moral of the tale? Ah who knows!

Alan said...

I can just about handle one boyfriend at a time, how you manage 2 and potentially 3 is beyond me. Also I am a very generous person but dont feel that I could share my boyfriend with anyone else. Perhaps "The Wierd and Wonderful World of the Gay Banker" as a title ?

Happybutterfly said...

You lucky, lucky thinig. Hope there isn't too many drams that unfold, now that you've all gone official.

Nitram said...

I wish I could have your courage... I cheat on my boyfriend one time, and I felt so ashame and dirty, i told myself : never more.

But god it's sounds hot to have lots of sex with different people :)

Will said...

I think the title should be "Things I CAN tell my boyfriends at last!" What do you want to bet you'll all be sitting down to dinner together in a year?

Gay banker said...

Thanks for all the good wishes guys and gals :-)

And thanks to the (small number) of you that actually noticed that I was asking for advice on the name of this blog! I reckon I should rename it at some point, but probably not before I go away on holiday again with boyfriend number 2. It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen him face to face, and there’s always the possiblity that we’ll fall out in some unforeseable way that would make me look foolish.

Although I am an adventurer at heart czechOUT, maybe my adventures don’t have to be sex/love oriented to be exciting. I am trying to reach a point where I’m happy with my domestic situation.

So you do still visit me Banana-life :-). Anyway, be quiet about us, or I’ll tell everyone about all those perverted things you try and make me do ...

Perhaps boyfriends numbers 1 and 2 will meet one day Will, although I think it will take much much longer than a year to happen. But no one can predict the future, it would be a lovely surprise if they do eventually meet on a friendly basis.

GB xxx

Anonymous said...

no that i'm an expert or anything, but can you really call No.2 a boyfriend if you hardly ever see him ?

Gay banker said...

I don't usually take any notice of anonymous comments mate. Why don't you get yourself a blogger login, if only to leave comments? Anyway, even though we obviously don't have sex when we're apart, we're still in very regular contact by phone, email and MSN. We both know the important issues in each others lives, and we both provide each other with emotional support. It's definitely a boyfriend kind of relationship, and not the fuckbuddy variety!

GB x