Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Should I come out as a blogger to boyfriend number 2

When a guy lives with his boyfriend, and when they both love each other dearly, if either or both of them keep a personal diary they can rely on each other not to read each other's diaries if their relationship is strong.

When a guy goes on holiday with his boyfriend, and when they both love each other dearly, if either or both of them write a blog they can rely on each other not to read each other's blog if their relationship is strong? Or not the juicy bits that their boyfriend would be embarrassed if the other guy read at any rate??

It's an interesting situation. I am about to go on holiday with boyfriend number 2. We're both very internet oriented, but unlike me, I don't think he's a secret blogger because I tried looking for his blog and I didn't find it. Now that I'm a more respectable blogger, in that my sex life is no longer the hardcore focus of my blog, should I come out to him as a blogger?

Only people that have been reading my blog for a long time would know that the guy I call boyfriend number 2 was the subject of my first postings. My very first words of my very first posting were "I hadn't seen P since ...". However, since 13th June 2005, P has been known as boyfriend number 2!

There are lots of advantages in coming out as a blogger to boyfriend number 2. It's another step towards complete honesty with my boyfriends, that I started when I admitted to boyfriend number 1 that fidelity wasn't exactly one of my strong points. And boyfriend number 2 might well have lots of constructive and creative ideas relating to this blogging hobby of mine.

But what would boyfriend number 2 make of all the stories about my encounters with other guys? He knows I'm no saint, because I told him about boyfriend number 1 when we first met back in 2001. Worse, since this is my personal diary, some of my thoughts about him are recorded here, on the internet, for everyone to see. But then, he doesn't have to read those bits. Does he?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know it sounds like a fab idea n'all but really NO!
You're thinking about opening pandora's box...a can of worms etc. you've got a good heart + good intentions but it really will do more harm than good!
Besides....then there's pressure on him to be completely transparent. Nope...what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Keep the blog a secret or destroy it all + start afresh.

That's just my opinion anyway!

Good luck!

Absintheboy

Alan said...

A diary/blog can be a very personal thing even when put out on the web. What he doesnt know cant hurt him but I was taught that a golden rule of blogging was not to write anything that you would want someone to read as there is a chance they may find it. He is aware you are no saint but do you want him to see some of your deepest thoughts ? Perhaps you could test the water and tell him a ew things before you show him the blog.

Snoskred said...

I think the answer is no, too. Did you hear about the girl whose blog was anonymous until she published a book and then her identity was exposed by the Paparazzi in the UK? Whenever I think about telling anyone I know about my blog, this reminds me not to. And I don't even write about sex! People are so darned judgemental in that area.. :(

Gay banker said...

Yeah, you're talking about Zoe Margolis aren't you Snoskred. What happened to her is worrying, especially because my blog has some things in common with her's, especially my encounter postings! So if anyone ever wants to publish anything from here, the answer is definitey NO. Not for many years anyway, until I've retired as a banker.

GB xxx

Bob said...

GB - keep yourself as anonymous as possible.

I love reading people's blogs because it presents the truth of who they really are - sometimes not always good.

As soon as bloggers start to feel obliged to write to the audience they know, I think it blunts what they have to say. Because, in effect, they're just playing to the gallery.

Write without care and write without any worry of consequence because that's when you can be the most honest.

I know that sounds all poncey and pretentious but I don't mean it to.

And there are some things, whatever they may be, that you deserve to keep private.

Long ago it was diaries and I guess blogs are much the same thing. It's just now that everyone else can read them. But in some very perverse way, that doesn't make them any less intimate.

rob x

Gay banker said...

Fascinating that everyone says NO, don't come out as a blogger, not even to one of your boyfriends. But it's interesting that everyone seems to have ignored the parallel with personal diaries.

If you live with your boyfriend, what is the difference between knowing where your boyfriend keeps his handwritten personal diary, and knowing the URL of his blog. In both situations, if you want to read it you can. And depending on what you've agreed between the two of you, you'll know whether you're breaking the rules or not.

GB xxx

close encounters said...

i know that i'm nosey - but the idea of anybody only reading certain parts of a blog [or a diary] is so unrealistic ...

if you're not prepared for him to read it all, then it's a nish-nish ...