tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post3854058453981450387..comments2024-01-08T00:18:57.750+00:00Comments on Gay Banker: Conversational evasion techniquesGBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07046768019709916759noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-55469863040810742982007-03-06T00:31:00.000+00:002007-03-06T00:31:00.000+00:00John Amaechi says in an Observer article that when...John Amaechi says in an <A HREF="http://observer.guardian.co.uk/osm/story/0,,2023244,00.html" REL="nofollow">Observer article</A> that when he was asked directly about being gay, he replied "You have nothing to worry about".<BR/><BR/>Whilst it sounds good, and I'm sure works in some instances ... I don't believe that it would silence a persistent enquirer ...close encountershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11493608927198507173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-14409543124460568402007-02-28T23:09:00.000+00:002007-02-28T23:09:00.000+00:00nice article...i think ever since i've been out at...nice article...i think ever since i've been out at my workplace (i work for a bank too!) i've been much happier and since then i have no longer been asked the "when are you going to bring your girlfriend to the christmas party?" sorts of questions... =)jasonvivahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02597236191486724048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-80723826302944042222007-02-24T14:37:00.000+00:002007-02-24T14:37:00.000+00:00Hey GB,I fully agree with you that not everyone me...Hey GB,<BR/><BR/>I fully agree with you that not everyone mean to be hstile when they ask personal questions. Some may be genuinely concerned. But at the end of the day, it really is about being comfortable enough to reveal or even confident enough of the other person's maturity or attitude towards gay people. I've got a close group of friends but despite our relationship, one of them have never felt comfortable enough to come out to everyone. These friends have been asking him about his girlfriends and he has been avoiding it with "Too busy at work for that at the moment" since Day 1. :)Dragonzladhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02788072778882097719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-24115956406039962202007-02-23T22:53:00.000+00:002007-02-23T22:53:00.000+00:00I don't think I ever suggested that it's easy clos...I don't think I ever suggested that it's easy <A HREF="http://www.blogger.com/profile/11493608927198507173" REL="nofollow">close encounters</A>. If you've only recently come out it's very difficult. The hard thing is trying to work out the intentions of the person who's asking the questions, because when one feels under attack, the natural assumption is to assume that the person is hostile. True, they may be hostile, but I think it's often the case that the intention is friendly. For example, guys may ask if they think you're gay, just to check that you're not going to be competing for the girls in the office.<BR/><BR/>I think when a guy asks another guy about his marital situation or his experiences with girls, there's always some motive because it's a personal question. The gay guy who's being asked the question will get the best result if he can relax and work out what the motive is. Looking back and re-analysing my own experiences, all the hostile situations I've experienced were at school, but since then the motive has always been benign.<BR/><BR/>Why don't you do a posting about this topic <A HREF="http://www.blogger.com/profile/11493608927198507173" REL="nofollow">close encounters</A>, it sounds like you've had some bad experiences?<BR/><BR/>GB xxxGBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07046768019709916759noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-11958305091614392292007-02-23T22:27:00.000+00:002007-02-23T22:27:00.000+00:00i'm not sure it's always as straightforward as you...i'm not sure it's always as straightforward as you suggest ...<BR/><BR/>sometimes in the attempt to tread the line between truth and non-disclosure, it doesn't always work ..close encountershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11493608927198507173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-19779091036549614922007-02-22T22:35:00.000+00:002007-02-22T22:35:00.000+00:00Here here!!! GB - you are a GURU! Keep the advic...Here here!!! GB - you are a GURU! Keep the advice coming! Those of use just starting out appreciate your insight and experience! Monty! xMontyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01535444453211857308noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-69611117740847258962007-02-22T21:30:00.000+00:002007-02-22T21:30:00.000+00:00I second gayboydiary above!I must be as camp as Ch...I second gayboydiary above!<BR/><BR/>I must be as camp as Christmas, because I've never been asked the 'girlfriend' question, except once by a counsellor at University.<BR/><BR/>I was completely perplexed and unable to answer, and she kept asking more and more nosey questions. Eventually she decided my problems were beyond the scope of the University's counselling programme, and referred me to a "very nice young man".Hedgiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00637550146809680298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-68674661385487404452007-02-22T20:15:00.000+00:002007-02-22T20:15:00.000+00:00"... one guy is trying to express friendship, and ..."... one guy is trying to express friendship, and the other guy feels like they're under attack".<BR/><BR/>I never thought of it that way but it is SO true! You should do this professionally! ;-)<BR/><BR/>GBD xxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10667700.post-76832578016131744262007-02-22T12:18:00.000+00:002007-02-22T12:18:00.000+00:00hi gb,Thanks for your advice. Its good to hear fro...hi gb,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for your advice. Its good to hear from guys who have more experiences that i do or we can say more "wisdom". In this case though, my co-worker is asking me some dating advices regarding this girl. Well we all know that in certain aspects dating girls are different from dating guys. So i tried to put myself on his shoes on the "how to treat a lady on a date" and i guessed it worked. i now seemed like the dating expert who he runs to for advice. <BR/>As a gay guy living in asia, it can sometimes be hard coz most people here in my country still have the stereotype and misconception that gays are suppose to act flamboyant, camp and cross-dressers. Well i think this is brought about by how the media here portray gays and how we are projected to the people. <BR/>When i came out to my close friends a year ago i remember how one of them reacted. She had this confused stare on her face and asked how can i be gay if i "act straight" and dress descent. As a gay man i did my part of educating her about our lifestyle and straighten out the misconceptions. One voice can make a difference. <BR/><BR/>cheers,<BR/><BR/>AdrianAdrianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13290244488655449983noreply@blogger.com