Time Out London sex survey 2009

The results of the Time Out London sex survey 2009 were published last week. One statistic in particular stands out to me, namely that 24% of men who answered the survey have had sex with other men, breaking down as 4% who exclusively had sex with men and 20% who had sex with men and women. Can that figure really be representative of the male population in London? Or is it biased because those type of men were more likely to respond to the survey?

Hot boyfriends

Recently, I met up with my friend P for a drink after work. I hadn't seen him since I went out for dinner with him and my female Mexican friend, so it was good to catch up with him. We chat about our boyfriends and our jobs, but of course it's not too long we get onto the subject of men in general.

"So why do you like Asian guys, GB?" asks P.

I hesitate slightly before answering. Talking about this with my friend P is quite a delicate subject, because although P was born and bred in the UK, ethnically he's Asian himself. It's also a delicate subject because for years P's wanted to get me into bed, but so far at least, I've never let it happen!

"Oh I don't know," I reply casually, still thinking about the question, "although one thing I like about Asian guys is that they often seem to be quite family oriented :-)."

"I see," says P in a matter of fact voice, "and that's Hot is it? Being family oriented??"

I can tell from his tone of voice that he thinks that the answer to his question is a big NO.

"Actually yes," I reply, looking him straight in the eyes, "when one's looking for a long term relationship, being family oriented is very Hot!"

Initially P looks surprised by my answer, but gradually what I've just said sinks in. Although P himself looks quite Hot in a sexual sense, he's never struck me as being particularly family oriented. It's also true that he's even more of a slut than me!

Of course, in reality the word 'hot' does mean sexually desirable rather than good boyfriend material. But I don't think that my friend P is alone in thinking that sexual desirability is the most important attribute for a boyfriend. Last month, a reader left a comment which suggested that hot Asian guys should date other hot Asian guys, and that less hot Asian guys should date other less hot Asian guys. However, I think that the world is much more complicated than that!

Belle de Jour, anonymous no more

Part of my original inspiration for becoming a blogger was the infamous blog Belle de Jour, the Diary of a London Call Girl. I hadn't heard of her when she stopped blogging back in September 2004, however a couple of days afterwards I spotted an article on the BBC web site which was reporting the fact that she had given up. When I looked at her blog, it occurred to me that it might be fun to become a blogger, but it wasn't until five months later that I wrote my first post.

For years, the true identity of Belle was a mystery. Another woman who blogged about her sex life was outed as a film assistant Zoe Margolis in August 2006, but still no one knew who Belle was. Today however, I get a txt msg from LWW telling me to go and look at a web site, and when I go to the site it turns out to be a story about who Belle really is. Finally, Belle herself has decided to reveal her identity through an interview in the Sunday Times.

It turns out that we have one thing in common. When I wrote a post titled Things I'm glad that I did in my life so far last year, one of the things that I said was that I was glad that I did a PhD. It turns out that Belle's real name is Dr Brooke Magnanti, because she also has a PhD, in informatics, epidemiology and forensic science in her case.

Belle's blog about being a call girl was only active for about a year, but it's now been over four and a half years since I wrote my first post, and I'm still posting about two times a week :-). I still enjoy it, so for now at least, I have no plans to retire!

Update 19-Nov-2009: An interesting footnote to this story in The Guardian

Noisy sex

When I read this BBC news article a couple of days ago, I burst out laughing. Although it's about straight sex, I still think it's worth posting here. Basically, a straight couple called Caroline and Steve Cartwright have been banned from making loud noises during sex following complaints from neighbours, the local postman, and a woman taking her child to school:

The noise sounds like they are both in considerable pain. I cannot describe the noise. I have never ever heard anything like it.

It was clearly of a very disturbing nature and it was also compounded by the duration - this was not a one-off, it went on for hours at a time. It is further compounded by the frequency of the episode, virtually every night.

I guess I'm in awe of such a performance! Or perhaps they've been using some kind of drugs? If so, I want to know where I can get hold of some!

The man with more than two nipples

I was playing a quiz game with a few friends one evening last week, and the answer to one of the questions turns out to be the old James Bond film 'The man with the golden gun'.

"The man with the golden gun was also the man with three nipples, wasn't he?" says one of my friends, once the answer is known.

"Yeah, and he was called Scaramanga," answers another friend of mine, who's a bit of a geek when it comes to general knowledge.

"However, the third nipple wasn't really correct," he continues. "Additional nipples are quite rare of course, but when they do occur they tend to occur below the usual ones, and sometimes in pairs like they do in dogs and pigs for example."

"Wow, what fun :-)" adds boyfriend T, with a huge smile on his face.

"Maybe, T," answers my geeky friend, "but I don't know whether additional nipples are as sensitive as the main pair!"

None the less, boyfriend T continues to smile, and I think I know what's going through his mind. In my experience, many gay men have sensitive nipples, and as such they're definitely an erogenous zone. Although it's still not clear to me why straight guys don't enjoy having their nipples played with during sex, the idea of having sex with guys who've got more than two functional nipples to play with is quite enticing!