Monday, June 27, 2005

Experiences at GB in Shinjuku 2-chome, Tokyo

A few years ago I worked for a Japanese bank, and a couple of times a year I would have to visit head office in Tokyo. There is a thriving gay scene in Tokyo, especialy in the Shinjuku 2-chome district, although as with many things in Tokyo there’s one scene for gaijin (foreigners) and another Japanese only scene.

The most famous gay bar in Tokyo for gaijin (and Japanese guys who like gaijin) is called GB, which apparently stands for “Ginger Bar” named after the singer Ginger Rogers. It’s just a single room in a basement, quite small and often packed. As well as using to find guys for fun, on each trip to Tokyo I would also try and visit this bar to try and meet guys in the old-fashioned (off-line) way.

On one occasion I picked up a young but slightly overweight Japanese fashion designer who drove me back to his appartment for a bit of fun. He was definitely a style queen, the car he drove was a two seater convertible. After we’d had a bit of fun he didn’t want me to stay the night with him because he had to head off early to put on a fashion show somewhere south of Tokyo. I also had a plane to catch.

But the most interesting visits to GB related to when I left the bar alone.

On one occasion, it’s late in the evening when I leave GB. I decide to try and find the gay sauna which I know is located near there, so I get out a small map to try and work out the way. Perhaps I should be more careful in foreign cities to avoid publicising the fact that I don't know my way around, but the street outside GB is almost deserted, apart from a couple of young guys seated on the steps opposite who look completely harmless.

I find the sauna, it’s in a small back alley, but when I get to the door there’s a sign on it in both Japanese and English – Japanese speakers only. Ahhh well, too bad. Apart from GB I know there are also several other bars in the area, so I head off to try and find one of them. But I fail! Maybe my information is out of date, or maybe it’s just that I’m having trouble working out the Japanese system for specifying addresses – no less logical than the western method of “house number, street name” but just completely different.

I head back to the subway. I’m half way down the steps and someone says “Hey”. I look up and there’s a young Japanese guy, dressed in loose fitting clothes with a small rucksack, talking do me.

“Don’t go yet, I can show you where to go”. He seems anxious for me not to go back to my hotel.

How does he know what I’m looking for? Why does it matter to him whether I go or not? Am I going to be mugged? Is he employed by the owner of a local gay bar to entice gaijin inside where there are expensive rent boys? I can’t decide whether to trust him a bit, or to head back to the hotel. He can tell I’m wavering.

“Can I just show you a bar, not too far? We can go inside if you like, it’s up to you.” He looks me up and down smiling – with his eyes resting just momentarily on my crotch. He’s cruising me! But is he paid to do this? Or if I recriprocate, will he end up wanting money? Against my better judgement I have to find out.

“OK, why don’t you show me”, I say, giving in. I’ve only had one drink at GB, I hope that I’ll be able to look after myself if things turn nasty.

As we’re walking back along the streets near GB bar, he tries to talk to me. His English isn’t very good, but we can just about communicate. He seems like a nice guy, perhaps he just wants to practise his English on me? We go into another bar together and he doesn’t seem to know anyone there. I get him to order me a beer and he orders a soft drink for himself, although I pay. Same price as GB, so that’s not the scam. We sit down next to each other and chat. He’s still a student. Gradually we get closer to each other, and then he rubs my knee every so gently.

“Is there anywhere we can go?” he says.

Well if he’s not going to ask for money, maybe it’s my lucky night. He is a lovely looking, young Japanese guy, and he’s effectively just asked to have a bit of fun with me.

“Do you want to come back to my hotel?” This is it, if he wants money I should find out now.

“OK sure”. He smiles at me and rubs my hand. So he doesn’t want money, he just wants my body! Fine my me!!

Outside we take a cab and spend a lovely night together. In the morning I take him down for breakfast in the hotel restaurant, and after that we say goodbye.

On my next visit to Tokyo I also visit GB one evening. Leaving alone, again there a couple of harmless looking young Japanese guys on the steps opposite the bar. But as I walk off, one of them gets up and follows me. Like last time I wander round the streets trying to find another gay venue. Yes, although he’s trying to make sure I don’t see him, he’s definitely following me.

Thinking back to my last visit, it all starts to make sense. The guy last time knew I was gay because he saw me come out of GB. Nothing more sinister than young Japanese guys who like having fun with gaijin.

So the same thing happens again. I end up talking to the guy who’s following me, although this time we dispense with the bar and head straight back to my hotel. This one was gorgeous, just as young but somehow he’s fitter than the prevoius guy. We have fun, he stays the night, and in the morning I take him to breakfast.

Now I think I know how things work, on my next visit I try the same method. But I’m too eager. I leave GB, I get followed by one of the young guys on the steps outside GB, but perhaps because I try and talk to him too soon he runs away. Damm!! Next time I’ll be more careful.

Before my next trip to Tokyo happens, I get a job with a different bank. But if I ever return to Tokyo, I’m definitely going to see whether there are still young guys outside GB looking for fun with gaijin.

Update 8-Jan-2011: I went back to GB bar for a drink with boyfriend T, see Another visit to GB in Shinjuki 2-chome, Tokyo.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Asia holiday 2005: Luang Prabang, Laos

Walking along the main street in Luang Prabang today, I told boyfriend number 2 that I was thinking about things back home.

"You mean you're thinking about boyfriend number 1", he says, smiling. "It's sweet that you're missing him".

When I though about it, I realised that I'm not really missing him. But I am worrying a lot about him. And how would he feel if he knew that I wasn't traveling alone?

The fact is that I'm getting on very well with boyfriend number 2. Sleeping with him is fantastic. When I cuddle up to him, his skin smells lovely to me. And when we're sitting together in the back of a car, taxi, or on an airplane, he wants to discretely hold my hand which I really enjoy. It always gets me slightly aroused! Boyfriend number 1 would never do anything like that.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Asia holiday 2005: Singapore

It's Wednesday lunchtime in Singapore and I'm in boyfriend number 2's appartment. Boyfriend number 2 himself is at work. We're getting on well with each other. We had a lovely time last night cuddling. Athough I took a melatonin pill to try and beat the jet lag, I still found it very difficult to sleep until around 5am which is approximately bed-time back in London.

I haven't phoned boyfriend number 1, but I've had a couple of e-mails from him. I've replied briefly to them both, so he knows I'm all right. I was explaining the situation to boyfriend number 2 today over breakfast. He suggested that when I'm back in London we should go and see a relationship counsellor together. Maybe he's right.

Tomorrow morning we head to Laos.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Asia holiday 2005: at the airport in the UK, waiting to fly to Singapore

My feelings are still as confused as they were a week and a half ago when I realised that boyfriend number 2 would be coming on holiday with me instead of boyfriend number 1 (Boyfriend Number 2 - Past the point of no return?). I'm heart-broken that boyfriend number 1 isn't with me on such a fabulous holiday, but ecstatic to be going with P who I've decided to call boyfriend number 2.

Whenever I'm away on a business trip I always phone boyfriend number 1 once (it not twice) a day. But on this trip I'm going to avoid contacting him. It's too painful, because I feel he should be with me. I've explained this to him and I think he understands.

Of course boyfriend number 2 knows about boyfriend number 1, and would understand if I have to contact him sometimes. But I think we'll have a much better time together if I don't need to contact him.

When was the last time I was monogamous for three and a half weeks? I have no idea but I'm pretty sure it's well over 5 years ago. I've often been monogamous for a couple of weeks at a time when I've been on two week holidays with boyfriend number 1, but I haven't taken such a long holiday since I was a student.

At this stage, I'm just hoping that me and P (i.e. boyfriend number 2) manage to have a good holiday together, because we don't know each other that well. We spent several nights together in 2001, then one night together in 2002 (Asia trip 2002: Friday, final day), and recently we only had time for a snack dinner on my last visit to Singapore in Feb 2005 (Singapore trip Feb 2005. Monday, final day). Whatever happens, it's going to be an adventure.

Sunday afternoon session with a deaf gay slapper

Even though it was a beautifully hot summer’s day in London yesterday, I still can’t help myself from logging onto gaydar briefly in the early afternoon. I only log on for 10 minutes, and I’m about to log off when a guy contacts me. We hit it off quickly and I agree to visit him:

“It’ll probably take me 30 mins to get 2 u m8, do you have a mobile phone in case I get lost?”

“I’m deaf. I don’t use mobile phones.”

Wow! I’ve never met a deaf gay guy before.

“Are you completely deaf m8, or just very hard at hearing?” I ask, “It doesn’t matter to me at all.”

“I’m deaf”

“OK fine, no probs, I’m on my way”

“See you in 30”

When I arrive he has to come downstairs to let me in to the flat. There is a door entry system, but because he’s deaf he can’t really talk properly. He wasn’t able to tell me that the door was very stiff so that I had to pull it really hard when he released it from his flat.

With the heat outside I’m glad to strip off when I enter the flat. We have an enjoyable session, which doesn’t last very long because he cums quite quickly. I’m used to guys telling me that they’re about to cum, but of course he didn’t so I wasn’t ready!

Communication is difficult, but I want to stay a while afterwards to find out a bit more about him so I ask for a glass of water. He’s happy to oblige.

We stand for a while in his sitting room, with him lip reading and me trying to work out what he’s saying. I realise that the arrival of the internet must have completely transformed his sex life. Online he’s as eloquent as everyone else – but the poor guy would never be able to go and pick up a man at a gay bar or club. He tells me that he was born deaf so he’s never known anything else. I guess that it must be easier that way.

Eventually we head to his computer and use notepad.exe to communicate! That’s when he tells me that he’s a “slapper”. And he’s not joking. He points to what looks like a watering can and tells me that its for piss, to be poured into guy’s arses. He’s having his flat re-decorated and he wants to get a sling fitted, although he’s worried in case the ceiling isn’t strong enough.

I find myself wondering whether he got into all this because as a deaf gay guy he wasn’t able to make any headway in the mainstream gay scene, but he for some reason he was accepted into this hardcore sleazy scene. In my experience, guys who get into this do so because they get bored with standard gay sex and have to do more and more extreme stuff to get their satisfaction. But when I just cuddled this guy a bit, kissed him gently, played with him, I got him to cum for me almost immediately.

Tonight I fly to Singapore for my holiday with boyfriend number 2 (Boyfriend Number 2 - Past the point of no return?). Boyfriend number 1 still thinks I’m going to be on holiday alone. I’m gradually coming to the conclusion that I’m going to have to tell boyfriend number 1 that I’m not monogamous, and that boyfriend number 2 exists in Singapore. I think it would be cruel to tell him before I leave because I know how his mind works – he’d worry while I am away about whether I’m going to go back to him, which I am.

But I can’t think about all that just now. My immediate priority is to forget about the situation with boyfriend number 1 so that I can enjoy my the holiday with boyfriend number 2.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Some of us have such complicated lives

With travel agents still sorting out my holiday with P (Boyfriend Number 2 - Past the point of no return?), I head for the gym sauna last Friday after my usual gym class.

When I enter there’s just a straight guy in there wearing swim shorts, but soon C comes in naked as usual (Business as usual in the gym sauna on Friday). Another guy follows C in so now there are four of us.

“Hi C”, I say cheerfully.

“Hi mate, how are you?”, says C.

“Fine, off on a four week holiday to Asia next week so you won’t see me for a while”

“That’s a long trip, going on your own?”

“Unfortunately my main boyfriend couldn’t go, so I’m meeting my Asian boyfriend out there and going with him.”

C hesitates. Both the other guys in there are probably straight and I’ve just broken an unspoken rule – no overtly gay conversation in front of straight guys. But at the moment I’m finding my boyfriend situation difficult and I’m past the point of caring what people think. I need to talk to other guys about it but I can’t talk to any of my mainstream friends because they think I’m 100% faithful to boyfriend number 1.

Neither of the straight guys show any interest whatsoever so C continues.

“Yeah, I sometimes meet my wife and kids on location for a holiday.”

Now it’s my turn to be dumbfounded! Surely there is no way that C isn't gay, so how can he possibly have a wife? Although he’s only been a member of this gym for a month he’s already one of the most promiscuous guys in the sauna scene.

We chat a bit about his wife. It turns out that at the moment she lives in New Zealand with his kids, sothey sometimes meet each for a holiday somewhere in between the UK and New Zealand. Before too long both the straight guys have left so there’s just me and C. As soon as they’ve gone I ask

“But are you gay or straight?”

“Probably gay”, he says smiling. “But if anything serious happened it’s her I’d turn to. I don’t think she’s got any idea that I prefer guys though.”

C goes on to tell me that although he doesn’t have a full time boyfriend, there’s a gay friend from New Zealand who he sees a lot.

“If I’d met him before my wife then he’d probably be my boyfriend. He knows about my wife and he doesn’t care. There’a also a policeman I see every month or two, but he’s just into hardcore anal sex.”

“I’ve got a similar problem at the moment, I’ve just got too many boyfriends.”

But unfortunately he’s not interested in talking about my situation. After this conversation, having a session with C doesn’t seem appropriate so I make my excuses and head for the shower. At least I’m not the only person with a complicated life.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

A session with J in the gym sauna last Wednesday

Every day at the moment I’m talking to P, also known as Boyfriend Number 2 (Boyfriend Number 2 - Past the point of no return?). Things are a bit difficult with boyfriend number 1 at the moment, so I’m really looking forward to the holiday with P. But I also hope that things will improve with boyfriend number 1 somehow, we've been together since 1989 and I don’t want to lose him. Boyfriend number 1 still thinks I’m going on holiday alone, and I'm worried about what might happen if he finds out I’m going with another guy.

With all this going on, I was glad to see J last Wednesday. Although I had seen J quite recently (Business as usual in the gym sauna on Friday), I hadn't had a session with him for ages.

The sauna is empty when I enter, apart from J sitting naked in the corner. I go and sit close to him. We chat for a couple of minutes, with me telling him about the holiday I’m about to take. Then I tickle his scrotum underneath.

“Hmmmm”, he says, “I’ve missed this!”

So have I! We end up getting more intimate with each other than we’ve ever done before, with me putting my arms round him, and with lots of cuddling and body contact. It’s very lucky we’re not disturbed. By the time I get him to cum, I’ve got my left arm round his shoulders with him sitting on my left and his legs over my lap. I love playing with J. We kiss each other gently on the lips before we leave the sauna, something else we’ve never done before.

Since I seem to be numbering boyfriends at the moment, I guess that J is the strongest candidate for Boyfriend Number 3, even though we’ve never spent a night together.

Friday, June 17, 2005

A morning visit to a cute Asian guy in Fulham

Since I had “my chance to be a rent boy”, I’d been keeping the actual £30 notes that I had received as a souvenir, but last Tuesday I spent them. Now that it seems certain that the holiday with boyfriend number 2 is going to happen (Boyfriend Number 2 - Past the point of no return?) I took Tuesday morning off work to get a visa for Vietnam. Somehow it seemed appropriate to put the rent boy money towards this visa, given that the holiday will be spent with boyfriend number 2 rather than boyfriend number 1.

After I drop off my passport at the Vietnamese embassy there’s one other thing to do before heading back to the office – visit a guy in Fulham for a bit of fun. When I was logged in to gaydar the day before (A licky session early Monday morning), I got chatting to an Asian guy who I almost visited last month. The only reason I didn’t meet the guy was that he lives the wrong side of town for me. But yesterday I said that I’d try and visit him after the Vietnamese embassy because the Vietnamese embassy puts me much closer to him that I would normally be.

As I’m leaving the embassy I send him a txt mxg to say I’m on my way. I get a reply quite quickly:

OK see you soon. I’m in the shower now. Call me if you can’t find my flat. x

Within half an hour I arrive and I give him a phone call because he hasn’t told me the exact address. But his directions had been good, I’m almost next to his door onto the street when he comes down to let me in.

Face to face he looks as good as he did in his photos. He’s quite a small guy, with lovely smooth skin and a friendly face. I follow him upstairs.

“Do you live here alone?” I ask.

“I share the flat with another gay guy, but he’s just gone out”, he replies mischievously.

He shows me into his sitting room. Without realising, I let his cat rub up against my leg, leaving countless white hairs on my black trousers. “Oh dear”, he says, “I should have told you to watch out for our cat Harold”. I start stripping off while he gets me a drink of water. When he comes back into the room I’m just wearing my trousers.

We sit next to each other on the sofa, and chat for a minute or two. He’s been in the country for around four years, and he works for someone selling antiques in Notting Hill. While we’re chatting I’ve put my hand on his knee. Before too long he rubs my bare chest with his hand and says “Why don’t we go to the bedroom?”

Once in the bedroom he gets me to strip completely and lie on the double bed. He fondles me, and eventually I get him to strip too. For a small Asian guy he’s exceptionally well endowed. We kiss and cuddle, hold and play with each other. Eventually he finishes me off, saying “don’t worry, it takes a long time to get me to cum”. Then he puts his undershorts on and fetches me a towel to clean up.

I lay on the bed, and after moping up with the towel he gives me, I put my undershorts on too. We chat a while, me lying on the bed, and him sitting at the foot of the bed. I’m in no hurry to get back to work. “I wish I had a better skin complexion”, he says. I protest, saying that I think he’s got great skin, but he’s not convinced.

Gradually he gets closer to me. Eventually he puts his head on the pillow next to me. He tells me that he’ll probably go home to Asia next year.

“Do you like cuddling”, I ask.

“Yes of course”. He moves closer and I wrap my arms round him and hug him tightly. Apart from our undershorts, we’re both naked, and he feels wonderful. He’s such a sweet guy. Gradually he becomes aroused again, so I start fondling him through his undershorts.

“Oh, put it away”, he laughs.

But when I try again shortly later, he doesn’t put up any resistance. This time, it’s me who finishes him off!

“Hmmm, that was lovely”, he says afterwards.

While I’m getting dressed, he goes to fetch a brush to get the white cat hairs off my trousers. He brushes me down, which is very kind of him.

“Let me show you to the bus stop”, he says slipping on his shoes. That's also very kind of him.

I end up having to run for a bus so I send him a txt msg.

Thanks for taking me to the bus stop :-)) I really enjoyed meeting you, take care, xxx

He replies almost immediately,

You too mate. Enjoy the holiday. x

Somehow using the blokey expression mate doesn’t suit such a cute Asian guy.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

A licky session early Monday morning

Although I’m in turmoil regarding boyfriends number 1 and number 2 (Boyfriend Number 2 - Past the point of no return?), I’m still in the mood for fun with other guys.

Last Monday I’m logged in to gaydar while I’m eating my breakfast. A guy contacts me through the gaydar chat system who I’ve spoken to before.

“Hi, are you free to come round now?”

There were two previous occasions when I was going to visit this guy and it never happened, once last year and once about six weeks ago. But those occasions involved a bit of forward planning – there’s less that can go wrong with an immediate liaison which is why I prefer them. So I decide to go for it, even though I’ll miss one of my favourite morning gym classes:

“I think we’ve spoken b4. You’ll have 2 remind me of ur address – I cud cum round if u r close?”

He seems quite keen and he doesn’t live too far away so the arrangements are sorted quite quickly.

“Oh, and can you wear white undershorts and white socks, just for me?”.

I’m not sure why he wants that but it’s a harmless enough request, “Sure no problem”.

I log off gaydar and head for the bathroom. Within 20 minutes I’m leaving the house, kissing boyfriend number 1 (who’s still in bed) on my way out to wish him a pleasant day.

As I’m getting closer to the guy’s house I realise I need the toilet for a leak. The problem with asking to use the toilet when I get there is that with some guys, knowing that I’ve just urinated puts them off oral sex. But there’s nothing else for it.

The guy is pleased to see me, “you got here quickly”, he says. Face to face he looks a bit skinnier than in his photos which is a nice change – if gaydar photos are misleading one usually finds that guys are fatter than their photos. I take my shirt and shoes off, and decide to use the American wording (bathroom) rather than English (toilet):

“Err, can I use the bathroom please”, I say smiling.

“OK no problem, you mean you’d like a shower”, he says in an accommodating sort of way.

“Hmmmm, OK, yes, why don’t I take a shower. I’m a bit sweaty after the journey”.

On my way to his bathroom he rubs the nipples on my chest. Nice.

He must have realised that I wasn’t really after a shower, both from what I said, and from the slightly confused look on my face. But I’m happy enough to take a shower and then I can make sure I’m clean for him ‘downstairs’. I’ve always thought the American way of asking for a toilet is ambiguous, but this is the first time I’ve been caught out. So I take a shower, having a pee down the plughole in the process! When I emerge into his bedroom I’m just wearing my white undershorts and my white socks.

“Great, why don’t you lie down on the bed”, he says to me with an approving look on his face.

To start with, he keeps his clothes on. He comes and lies next to me while we kiss and he rubs his hands up and down me. Gradually I manage to get him to take his kit off too, although I end up naked long before him. Finally when he takes off his undershorts I can see that he really is quite a big lad.

“Can you turn over and lie face down?”

I oblige. Soon I realise that he’s licking me, up and down my back. I find it extremely erotic, especially when his tongue runs up and down my spine.

“Can you turn back over?”

I oblige happily. Now he licks my stomach, my chest, my armpits and my scrotum. I find it all very enjoyable. I can't help wondering whether he'd be licking me all over like this if I hadn't taken a shower when I arrived. Eventually I ask “Are we going to make each cum then mate?”

“I’m not sure that I’m going to cum, but you are!” he says slightly forcefully and with a glint of mischief in his eye. Fine my me – and it doesn’t take him very long to see to it that I do.

We chat a bit afterwards. I tell him a bit about boyfriend number 1 and number 2 but he's not really listening. It turns out that he had a boyfriend for about ten years, but they split up about five years ago.

“I don't want a boyfriend at the moment”, he says, “I prefer to find guys online for casual sex when I feel like it.”

I find out that he’s a project manager for a charity, with a contract that expires next spring.

“They hired me on a three year contract, but I’d done pretty much what they wanted me to do in the first nine months, so they’ve been trying to find other things for me to do since then.”

Before too long I reckon I need to get to work. “See you again maybe”, he says as I’m leaving. I always like it when guys say that to me – for me it’s the best way for someone to say they enjoyed the session, because they’re happy enough to do it again.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Boyfriend Number 2 - Past the point of no return?

Working for an investment bank means that taking long holidays is very very difficult. But the first time in my career I have managed to negotiate a four week holiday to help use up holiday which has been carried over unused from previous years.

That’s the good news. The bad news is that I discover last week that boyfriend number 1 can’t come with me. It seems inappropriate to describe here all the circumstances which have led to this situation. However the thing I find extremely upsetting is that everything that prevents boyfriend number 1 coming with me is within his control. He knows how hard I work for us both, and also how important this trip is to me given that it’s a chance to take a “once in a lifetime” type of holiday together. Since 1989 when we got together he’s never let me down like this before.

I’ve got three choices. I could try and postpone the holiday – which will be impossible because other people in the bank have booked their holidays at other times to suit me. So the two reaslistic possibilities are either going alone, or finding someone else to go with. My strong preference is to travel with someone.

Last Thursday night, when the terrible situation became clear, I decide to send an e-mail to P in Singapore (Singapore trip Feb 2005. Monday, final day):

Hi P :-)

How are you? There's a possibility that I may be able to come to Asia soon for a few weeks on holiday. Are you free at all between now and 18th July? If so perhaps we could do something together?


The next morning I get a lovely reply:


great to hear from you. I've been good. Been travelling in and out of the country but I'm back now in Singapore. Yes, I am actually free from the week of 19th June if you want to do something. What are our options? Somewhere near? Or further afield? Call me or email me and we can plan something.


I'm not misleading P because he knows about boyfriend number 1.

Since the reply from P I’ve been in contact with both him and with my travel agent trying to sort out something which suits both us both. Of course there was a tricky paragraph which I had to put into an early e-mail to my travel agent, who knows both me and boyfriend number 1 very well:

This is a bit sensitive. My boyfriend doesn't know I've got a friend in Singapore and I prefer him not to find out, is that OK with you? Regarding hotels, please book us into double rooms, as though I was travelling with my boyfriend. For correspondence on this please don’t use my normal e-mail address, instead please use the one from which I've sent this e-mail.

I didn’t get an answer to the question I asked him but I think I can count on my travel agent to be discrete because he gets well paid for arranging tailor-made holidays for me and boyfriend number 1. I wonder how many other clients he has like this, perhaps married men who go on holiday with their mistrisses?

But this means that my travel agent has become the first person in my mainstream life to know I’m not 100% faithful to boyfriend number 1. I’m worried that I'm getting deeper and deeper into complex situation which ultimately I can’t control.

I think this holiday is actually going to happen. A four week holiday with P instead of boyfriend number 1. Can I really hide from boyfriend number 1 the fact that I’ll be travelling with P? I’m not sure. In any case, I feel extremely confused at the moment. I'm writing this around 4:30am on Monday morning because I can't sleep. I’m ecstatic to be going away with P, and at the same time I’m heart-broken that I won’t be with boyfriend number 1 on such a lovely holiday. Assuming we have a good holiday together, this probably means that P has officially become Boyfriend Number 2.

I watched the film "Phantom of the Opera" with boyfriend number 1 last night. I'm a big fan of Phantom but there's one scene which I definitely think is much more powerful in the film than on the stage - the scene towards the end when they're performing the Phantom's opera 'Don Juan' and they sing "Past the point of no return". I'm not sure exactly how, but if I step onto that plane to Singapore, in some sense I think I'll be Past the Point Of No Return.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Business as usual in the gym sauna on Friday

Yesterday I head for the sauna after my usual Friday morning gym class. Just before I enter I spot J, heading for the shower.

“See you in a minute”, he says.

I guess that J means he’ll be going into the sauna after the shower, so I enter the sauna. Inside there's C, along with a guy I don’t recognise.

Soon J comes in. The last time I saw J he was about to do an exam (The guy with the twitching cock in the gym sauna) so I ask him how it went.

”Oh fine, I passed. But I’ve still got loads more exams to do over the next couple of years”.

Thankfully it’s been ages since I had to do an exam.

The guy I don’t recognise leaves just as another guy enters. The guy who enters was in the same gym class as me this morning. He has a nice well-proportioned body, and is naked. I’ve seen him in the gym class several times but never in the sauna. I always thought he looked like a gay lad, so perhaps I’ll get a chance this morning to find out for sure.

Immediately, the guy from the gym class takes up quite a cruisey position, sitting on the bench facing C with his legs open. C has the same position on his side of the sauna, so both guys have a good view of each other’s tackle. A straight guy would never take up that position, the so I decide that the guy from the gym class must be gay.

While all this has been going on, I’ve been quietly chatting to J, but now J has to leave for work. C also leaves, probably just for a cool-down shower, so I’m left with the guy from the gym class.

Looking over at him, it’s hard to see what’s going on between his legs because he was sitting facing C, but I think I can make out a semi-erection. So I turn to him and stare at his tackle area, trying to make sure he notices. Soon I spot him glancing over at me, and I’m sure he notices that I’m starting to get an erection too. Things progress, and we’re just at the point when we’re watching each other fondle ourselves when C comes back in.

The guy from the gym class obviously doesn’t realise that C is an active participant in this kind of Sauna fun because he stops immediately, trying to hide his erection. He looks over at me and looks a bit perplexed because I don’t try to hide anything.

C resumes his position facing the guy from the gym class. However, after perhaps a minute the guy from the gym class changes his position so that he’s now facing me. I guess that he's doing this to hide his erection, but why does he want to hide it from C given that when he first entered the sauna he took up quite an aggressive position cruising C?

Perhaps a bit peeved that the guy from the gym class seems to have rejected him, C also changes his position so that he’s now facing no one. But in any case, now I’ve got a great view of the guy from the gym class. As he watches me fondle myself, his erection develops even more.

But how to take things further? There are three of us who definitely all enjoy sauna fun, but C and the guy from the gym class aren’t connecting with each other, so a threesome seems out of the question.

After a minute thinking about it I decide to be bold. I move closer to the guy from the gym class and immediately put my hand out to tickle his scrotum. He motions his head towards C with a grimace on his face, obviously concerned that we shouldn’t do anything while there’s a guy in the sauna who he’s not sure about. Of course I am sure about C, so I whisper “don’t worry” with a big smile on my face.

Slowly I start to play with him. I can feel his erection getting even firmer beneath my hand. Again he motions towards C, still very unsure about what I’m doing, so again I say “don’t’ worry” and wink at him. He smiles back. In spite of his concerns he’s clearly enjoying the attention. Curiously, C doesn’t show any sign of wanting to join in. It was only 14 days ago that myself and C had had an enjoyable private session together (A session with C even though the gym sauna is broken).

After about another minute he feels the need to take over from me to finish himself off. He’s now at the stage when he doesn’t care about C any more, and lowers his legs so that C can see what’s going on if he wants. I fondle his nipples, and scrotum underneath, and he puts on a great display. Soon its all over. Immediately afterwards he helps me reach a similar conclusion.

On my way to the showers I say cheerio to C. “Yes, cheers mate” he replies in an indifferent voice. If we’re alone together at some point soon I’ll have to ask him why he didn’t come and join in the fun.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

A quickie in the gym sauna

A difficult morning at work forces me to take a very late lunch. After a quick sandwich I head for the sauna in the gym for a bit of relaxation. Lunchtime tends to be busy with straight guys, but in the early and mid afternoon it is often possible to find guys looking for a bit of fun.

But when I enter, there are a couple of straight guys in there chatting. They’re both naked, sitting on opposite sides, and I get the impression that they work in the same office.

“I suppose I should marry her, but she never seemed interested before”

“Make her an honest woman mate. Anyway, I could do with a good party!!”

They’re friendly down-to-earth guys, and they involve me in their conversation too to a small extent which is really nice. The only problem is, it’s not the kind of company I’m looking for, so after five minutes I leave to take a cool-down shower.

When I re-enter the sauna it’s empty. Soon a cute Indian guy enters wearing a towel, but he keeps himself to himself. So after five minutes I leave to take another cool-down shower.

I enter the sauna for a third time and again it’s empty so I lie down naked to relax. Soon a guy I don’t recognise enters, naked and quite well-hung. He takes up a mildly aggressive cruising position, facing me so he’s got a good view of my naked body, his legs apart so I can get a good look at him too (How gay men cruise gym saunas and steam rooms). So not much doubt that he’s after a bit of fun.

Once I’ve sat up and turned to face him it doesn’t take us long to connect with each other. Soon I go and sit next to him. He’s probably about the same age as me, but bigger and more muscular, with a lovely smooth body. We have quite an athletic session lasting about 5 minutes, and luckily we’re not disturbed.

I do wonder how many guys get off with each other in this sauna. Even though it’s very cruisey, it probably only averages half a dozen or so each day given that it’s often difficult to get a situation where everyone in the sauna wants a bit of fun.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

An accidental second meeting with a bisexual guy

I’m in a meeting at work last Thursday when I get a txt msg from a bisexual guy who I had almost visited for a session a couple of weeks ago.

You around kensington today mate?

Just what I need to perk me up after a difficult day so after the meeting I txt him back:

I could visit kensington today after work, can I phone you?

Soon I get a txt msg reply and so I phone him up to arrange the details. He sends me a txt msg with his address and it’s all fixed for around 6pm.

But on my way to visit him after work a thought crosses my mind. He lives very close to a bisexual guy who I visited for a session last Christmas eve. Is there something about this part of town which attracts bisexuals? Or is the guy I’m about to visit the same guy as the one I visited before? I suspect that it may well be the same guy. When I get off the tube I phone him for final directions:

”I’ve got a feeling we’ve met before”, I say after he's told me exactly how to find him.

“Really, are you sure?”

“No. I’m coming anyway, let’s work it out when we see each other face to face.” The session I had last Christmas eve was very enjoyable, so even if it is the same guy it will be fun.

When I arrive at the appartment block I’m almost 100% certain that it’s the same guy, but when he opens the door there’s no doubt in my mind – it’s definitely him. How amusing that neither of us remembered!

“Have you changed your profile name?” I ask.

“No, have you?”

“Not for a couple of years”, I reply.

We head for the bedroom. Almost before I’ve started undressing the guy has whipped off his shorts and t-shirt, and is lying on the bed playing with himself. He looks great. We have a very enjoyable time, which he punctuates with various sounds of encouragement

“Phwooor ...”

“Corrrr ...”

“Hmmmmm ...”

“Phwooor ...”

Afterwards we chat for a while. This isn’t his flat, he borrows it from a friend for occasional sessions with guys which his wife has no idea about!

“Let’s not leave it so long before we have another session together”, he says as I leave.

I often say that second meetings are guys who I meet online are very rare. I guess this is the exception that proves the rule.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Brief encounter in the gym sauna last Thursday

Last Thursday I enter the gym sauna after my morning work out and it's empty. So I lie down naked on my back to relax.

Shortly afterwards a slightly older guy comes in wearing swimming trunks, but when he sees me naked he immediately takes them off. Hmmm, that's interesting I think, the only real reason to do that is if you're interested in a bit of fun!

Although we glance at each other we don't quite catch each other's eye. I'm interested to find out whether my suspicion is correct, so I sit up and take notice of the situation. To test him out, I allow myself to become slightly excited downstairs.

He notices my slight excitement. He's sitting sideways on to me, with his legs up on the bench which hide my view of his cock. A couple of minutes pass, with him glancing over to me, and then I realise what's happening. He's started to play with himself, although because of the position of his legs it's almost impossible to tell! This makes me more excited, which he notices, and which gradually makes his more eager to show me what he's doing.

Eventually to get a better view I move to sit closer to him. He moves slightly close to me to and touches me, but the excitement is too much for him. "I'm gonna cum soon", he whispers, and within 10 secs its all over.

I smile at him saying "nice one mate", and head for the shower. Even though I didn't cum myself, a bit of fun before work always puts a smile on my face.

Friday, June 03, 2005

A meeting with an oriental guy in West London

I had been exchanging messages with an oriental guy who lives in West London since mid April, but we had been unable to arrange a meeting. West London isn’t particuarly convenient for me to get to, but last Tuesday we managed to arrange a meeting after work.

He wouldn’t give me his address, instead he wanted to meet me at the underground station. Usually I prefer to have an exact address as well as a mobile phone number, because there have been occasions when I have waited for guys to meet me who don’t turn up. On this occasion I settled for just a mobile phone number – after such a long ‘courtship’ I felt confident that the meeting would occur.

I arrive at the underground station and phone him. “OK great, where are you, I’ll be 2 minutes”, he says. Ten minutes later and I’m still waiting so I phone him again, but I needn’t have worried – he turns up almost immediately.

We’re probably about the same age. His internet age on gaydar is one year more than mine (What's your internet age?), and I guess that his real age is similar to mine too! He’s a very relaxed, friendly guy.

“You seem to be in a bit of a hurry”, he says as we’re walking back to his flat.

“Well I do have to meet a friend at a gym class in just over an hour and a half”, I say truthfully. He looks a bit upset.

His flat is quite small, a bed-sit with a small kitchen and bathroom attached. But it’s comfy enough, and in a reasonably smart part of London. We get down to business straight away, first undressing each other, and then cuddling and playing with each other on his single bed. He apologises for being a bit sweaty, which he puts down to the fact that we hurried back from the underground station. He’s a very sweet guy and we have an enjoyable time, although it’s clear he prefers to take his time a bit more when having fun with other guys.

“Do you have a boyfriend”, I ask him afterwards. He knows about boyfriend number 1 from the gaydar online messages which we had exchanged.

“Yes I do actually, but we don’t have sex with each other any more. We’ve been together for almost 20 years”.

“See you again perhaps”, he says to me as I’m leaving.

“Yes perhaps”, I say, “although this is the wrong side of town for me really”.

He looks a bit disappointed. When I log onto gaydar later in the evening there’s a message from him saying that it’s a pity I think it’s too far to travel. We’ll see what happens, but as I’ve said before here, it’s very very rare that I meet guys more than once.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

What makes a good gaydar profile name?

Any gaydar or user gets used to looking at guy’s profile names. But what makes a good profile name? Last weekend I jotted down a whole load of profile names of guys in the “UK London – Central Cruising” gaydar chat room to see what the common themes are, and to decide what type of names I think work best.

To get a good sample I wrote down the profile names of all the guys who arrived within a certain time period, irrespective of whether I liked or even understood their profile name. The main themes that emerged are sexual, age or year of birth, location or London postcode, names or initials, and combinations of these themes. Although the majority of the names were descriptive to some extent, there were also quite a few which meant nothing to me.

So how did I interpret the names I saw? To start with, some guys specify their age in their profile name. Of course the problem with specifying age is that within a year the profile name will be out of date! None the less, of the profile names in my sample I reckon the following were probably telling me the age of the guy, and perhaps his name or initials too:

ultraboy18, ukmatt18, youngjake18, fitnik24, lf26, latino35,

and the following were probably telling me the year the guy was born:

curiouslysexy1980, abfb1976, stephen1976, mr_knightly76, jde80, pet78.

Not many guys give away where they live in their profile name, even though it’s very practical information to have if you interested in meeting someone. This is probably more a desire to remain anonymous than a realiation that like age, this information also gets out of date. In this category there were the following profile names in my sample:

bluepetew3 – probably someone in London postcode W3
lonw1 – probably someone in London postcode W1
ianse14 – probably someone in London postcode SE14
ukladeast1 – probably someone in London postcode E1
brutusctrlondon – A guy called Brutus in central London?
archway – this is the name of a London underground station
centralfitlad – probably a guy in central London

Another theme is sex of course, although its not as popular as one might have thought. Looking through my sample I found the following

w1cocksucker – a guy in London postcode W1 who likes sucking
tieguyuk – presumably into bondage
.thediscipliner – presumably into master/slave discipline
4u... – presumably a guy who likes being subservient
......butt4u – presumably a guy who likes being fucked
talentedbutt – presumably a guy who likes being fucked
..arseplay – presumably a guy who likes being fucked
actifuck – sounds like an active guy who likes fucking

In the sexual category I found quite a few guys who specified that they’re a ‘top’ i.e. they like to fuck rather than be fucked.

ynghornytop, eustontopguy, topdom30, khakitop2, shorttop, hung_fit_top

Gaydar does allow male escorts to advertise for work, although I think they have to pay more than ordinary users. There were 4 obvious escorts in my sample:

1xxxescort, paytoplay,, hungescort.

Some guys include a man’s name in their profile name, which in my experience usually does turn out to be their name. In my sample I found:

neilatlantic, alanf25, matthewd67, alanbucks, dwainlondon, cutematty2000, dick.grayson, ...felipe, ..ian4fun, modelluke.

But the vast majority of names in my sample were just generally descriptive. My favourite names were in this category, particularly when there is something clever or amusing about the name:

turbochicken – vigorous young guy
skyworker – presumably works on an airplane
devilsdream – sounds enticing for a naughty session
dirtymonkey – sounds like a bit of a rascal
dirtyminded – another promise of fun times
dreamguy – how can one refuse?
jollytodger – a guy with a happy cock
delboy – cockney character from television comedy
stevethecurious – a guy called Steve wants to know more about gay life
bminor – probably a musician
jockring – a jock with a cockring?
glksmalldick – probably a good looking guy with a small cock!
gwm_ – gay white man
ukgreek – a greek guy in the UK
fitusguy – fit american guy
hornyitguy – guy who works in Information Technology
sg1 – a fan of Sci-Fi TV program Stargate?
boner – a guy with a hard cock
wetboylondon – a swimmer, or into “water sports”?
roughorsmooth – have it your own way
2fuks – presumbaly two fuckers
active_lad_2 – an active lad
blackguy – a black guy
newyoungguy – a young guy new to Gaydar
pundit – a pundit
.....1hotman – hot property?

The last set of names in my sample didn’t mean much to me, or maybe I’m not trying hard enough:

ayanah, negrito7, tiniopalio, ortzi, panda10, goodboymad, anathema, ketcodotcom, nose_candy, guiver1, supernova.2, sacrecoeur, raininspires, acor7, sunman2, goko, sebnw, mistermicool, bch1, cinammon, itsepas, rico2011, h2f., dke13, liathano, stevier, 24hotg, maclondon, spion, djcowboy, ricspapa, sterlingx

When registering with gaydar one has to request a profile name before seeing the kind of names that other guys use, so perhaps this is partially the cause of some of the less meaningful names that one sees. However these days on gaydar, one can ask gaydar support to change your profile name. In the past this wasn’t possible so one had to delete one’s profile and create a new one, which for guys that have put a lot of work into their profile was very inconvenient. But the main problem with profile names is that when one has a good idea for a profile name, one usually finds that someone else has got there first!