Monday, October 01, 2012

Teenage wanking

A few weeks ago, I bump into an old friend at the party of another friend. Shortly afterwards, I get an email from the old friend inviting me and boyfriend T round to dinner with him and his boyfriend.

The day arrives, and when we get to his house, it turns out that the dinner guests are all gay men. Towards the end of the meal, and after quite a few glasses of wine, we start talking about my hometown which I'd visited recently with boyfriend T.

"While we were in GB's hometown," says boyfriend T mischievously, "I saw the house where GB had his first wank!"

Everyone bursts out laughing.

"Well yes," I say sounding slightly embarrassed, "I showed boyfriend T the house where me and my family used to live."

Now that the subject of wanking has been brought up, everyone ends up sharing a teenage memory or two, but the host had something quite unexpected to say.

"Actually, I started wanking when I was about 7 or 8 years old," he remarks.

"How is that possible?" I ask, sounding very surprised, "surely your prepubescent body wasn't ready?"

"Well, there wasn't any ejaculation at that age," he explains, "but it always felt very nice :-). A boy at school told me how to do it, and once I'd had a go, needless to say I was hooked!"

"For a few years," he continues, "every new year's day I'd make a resolution to stop playing with my willy, because I somehow knew it was a bit taboo. But the resolution never lasted more than a couple of days! Of course, eventually I reached puberty, so one day I was playing with it as usual when suddenly I got a huge shock!!"

Everyone laughs, and after a few more comments about our teenage years, the conversation gradually moves onto something else.

Over the years, I've been to loads of dinner parties where the only diners are gay men. These days, I can't help thinking that it's inevitable that when it's only gay men together, after a few drinks they're bound to start talking about men's willies or sex!


Mind Of Mine said...

If it was a room full of straight me, they wouldn't even wait till after dinner, it would have been the opening conversation.

Yadhu Krishna said...

LOL! So true!! If it was just straight men, they wouldn't even wait till after dinner!!

Jason said...

I so agree with Ian, it wouldn't have taken any red wine for a room full of hetties to talk about sex and pulling the pud.

A room full of people and sex will be one of the subjects covered, often in the order of the food, peoples jobs, moving house, weather, the curtains or other soft furnishing and then perhaps sex.

Tom White said...

I clearly don't hang out with the right straights. Or maybe my straight friends are just too polite to talk about such things in mixed company!

Interesting post though!