Tuesday, April 13, 2010


"Why don’t we all go to the Karaoke in the Kings Arms one Sunday evening," says my colleague P to me before Easter, "have you ever been?"

"Err no actually," I reply, "although I’ve heard about it from ex-boyfriend S who goes along sometime. Do you think it's any good?"

"Well I've been a couple of times now, and I think it is good fun. I'm sure you and boyfriend T would enjoy it :-)."

So last Sunday, myself, boyfriend T, my colleague P and his boyfriend D, having had an early supper together, head over the the Kings Arms for the Karaoke. Although it's not the kind of venue that I'd normally go to, because I'm not at all into the gay bear scene, all the bear venues that I've ever been to have been very friendly. The Kings Arms, of course, is no exception.

"What'll you gave to drink?" asks my colleague P once we've arrived in the pub.

"A pint of beer I guess :-)," I reply, "do they have London Pride?"

It turns out that although they used to do London Pride, the main cask beers are now from Brains Brewery, so I settle for a pint of that.

"That singer has got a good voice," says boyfriend T, once we've settled down with our pints, "really manly too :-). But when you look at him, he's so camp!"

"That's George," says my colleague P knowingly, "and he claims to have been coming here since the 1940's!"

As the evening wears on, it becomes clear that there's a very wide variety of talent. Unlike some Karaoke venues where the organisers mix the singer's voice with the original soundtrack, and give the original soundtrack more prominence if the singer isn't very good, at the Kings Arms it's always just the singer. Although that probably makes for a more convivial atmosphere, at the bottom of the talent barrel it does test one's patience!

"Why don't you have a go, GB," says my colleague P with a glint in his eye.

"I'm too shy!" I reply, "I also can't sing! Anyway, I don't think I can remember any of these old songs that seems to go down well with the guys here."

Indeed, my idea of gay Karaoke would be lots of Kylie-style songs, old and new :-). But I didn't hear a single Kylie song all night!

Towards the end of the evening I need to spend a penny, but on entering the gents toilet I discover that the facilities are quite cramped. There are just two urinals and a single cublicle all very close to each other. There's a guy already using one of the urinals so I go for the cubicle, but finding that it's in use, I have to settle for the urinal next to the other guy after all.

When I was much younger, some of my gay friends were almost scared of going into the gents toilet in a gay pub on their own, and always insisted on someone accompanying them. I guess they didn't want to get drawn into in any activities with the kind of guys that might be hanging around in there! However, I never really understood why they wouldn't just be able to walk away from any situation that they didn't like.

Back to last Sunday and having started to use the urinal, the guy using the other urinal next turns his head towards me and looks me up and down. Given the proximity of the two urinals, he's obviously got a very good view of my willy!

"Wow," he says slowly, with a definite drunken tone to his voice, "you're GORGEOUS!"

Suddenly, the reason that my friends didn't want to be in the toilet on their own becomes crystal clear. The guy is big and beary, and not at all my type!

"Errr ...," I reply, sounding very embarrassed, "... thanks ..."

I almost feel like laughing, because it's such a ridiculous situation, but then I don't want him to take offense. However, what I really want to do is to pretend that he didn't make that comment at all! Unable to move away, given that I haven't finished doing what I'm there to do, I find myself staring at the ceiling and feeling quite uncomfortable.

"Oh, sorry," says the guy when he notices my discomfort.

"Errr ... no worries," I reply, feeling a bit more at ease as it becomes clear that nothing inappropriate is going to happen.

Overall, I definitely enjoyed the evening :-). Although some of the singing could have been a bit better, some of the singing was quite good too, and there was a very friendly atmosphere in the pub. And of course, it is nice to be told that one is gorgeous, even if the situation where it happens makes one feel a bit uncomfortable!


The Lion Queen said...

I had my first M2M experience in the toilets in the Kings Arms a long, long time ago. Your post brought back a few memories.




The Breakup said...

Gosh I woke up at 8 cos i have a meeting and i used 4 alarm clocks to make it!
how do u make it waking up and post things too!
You must be some kind of super blogger

Phunk Factor said...

What's the use of gng to karoake and not sing, GB?!

I'm possibly the worst singer in my group, but it's always fun to torture other ppl with my karoake 'talents'!

U shud try it nxt time! ;)

DW said...

OK, GB, we all get that, you have a gorgeous dick, please do not show off :-)

Talking about toilet encounter, I had a very bad expreience a few months ago. It is a Sunday afternoon, after a few pints in a pub at SOHO, I went to the downstair toilet. It is very small,and there were about 2 or 3 guys there. I noticed there is a old guy standing besides me. At first I thought he is waiting. But soon I found what he is interested. When I stared at him, he acted like nothing happened, I was the one who has escape as I was caught doing something wrong...

Anonymous said...

Oh. You didn't!

I like bears and the Kings Arms used to be a regular of mine (before places like the Wellie etc got more bearish)...


Bearaoke is an abomination!

Yes, the Sunday evening camaraderie is okay, but the actual performances are mostly cringeworthy.

Adventures In Gay Dating said...

My one attempt (fueled by a picture of cheap beer) at karaoke was at a Mexican restaurant called, Chi-Chi's. What song ? LoL...Wham's, Last Christmas. My cheeks still burn when I think of that moment.

I too, had a moment in a gay bar's toilet like that. I go in the stall, unzip and start peeing when suddenly a hand reaches around my body and grabs my penis and a crotch is pressed up against my rear. It was the African-American barback (runner) and apparently he'd thought I'd signaled him with my eyes to follow me into the toilet for a little fun. You should have heard me shouting at him...I'm afraid I wasn't as polite to him as you were to the bear.

Adventures In Gay Dating said...

LOL... looks like I need to learn how to spell: Picture=Pitcher

close encounters said...

"nothing inappropriate" - lol, makes you sound so proper !

thankfully we know you aren't !!