Tuesday, October 02, 2007


"Hey GB, are you on facebook," asks boyfriend number 2 when I spoke to him late last week.

Although we live in separate countries, I'm constantly in touch with him by email, plus at least one phone call a week.

"No, actually, do you think I should be?"

"Well yeah, of course!" replies boyfriend number 2 almost indignantly, "You do know what it is don't you?"

I always find it amusing when someone worries that I might be so far behind what the latest technology and web sites are! I've always been a technophile, and being a blogger definitely helps stay in touch as well. But of course boyfriend number 2 doesn't know that I'm a blogger. I thought about coming out to him as a blogger last year, but in the end I found myself agreeing with the comments that I got when I posted the idea here, so he still doesn't know.

Actually, over the last year or so I have received several automated invites that facebook sends on behalf of existing members, inviting me to join and become one of the existing member's "friends". Although I never bothered to reply to these invites, I did try accepting when I first got sent an invite to my GB identity. However facebook didn't allow me to join! Somehow it managed to spot that "Gay Banker" wasn't a real name, and it refused to let me proceed unless I did give a real name. I decided not to bother.

"I do use the Internet quite a lot you know," I replied to boyfriend number 2 last week, "so of course I know what facebook is!"

"Well you don't want to be labelled a fuddy-duddy do you?" says boyfriend number 2 with a smirk in his voice, "so I think you should join! I used to like myspace.com, but now I think that facebook is better."

I make no comment, but secretly I can't help thinking that I prefer myspace.com, because at least myspace.com did let me create a Gay Banker profile! None the less, over the weekend I duly sign up to facebook with my real name, and sent a "friend" invite to boyfriend number 2.

I can see the attraction of facebook. I thought it was neat the way that it was able to log on to my online mail boxes like Gmail and find existing facebook members in my contact lists and old emails. But intrinsically it's a very open system. Although there are some privacy features, as I acquire friends they'll all be able to see my existing friends including boyfriend number 2. The problem is that, until now, very few people I know were aware of boyfriend number 2!


ned said...

Facebook is all well and good in theory, but I agree with GB: for some of us, we have well compartmentalised lives - managing to keep professional life, family life (to some extent) and our private, social, or domestic lives, separate.

aurix said...

yep.. facebook is far superior to myspace. privacy is an issue though, it's true.

Sir Wobin said...

You've said that boyfriend number 1 doesn't want to know about your other activities and you're respecting his wishes by segregating your life in this way. Should this issue feature in the steps to a black belt or perhaps beyond black belt?

Perhaps something along the lines of being able to integrated the friends/boyfriends into a wider family for those who wish to and able to segregate those who prefer.

RE said...

Facebook is an amasing social networking tool. I have met quite a few nice people since I registered there.

Truly the privacy settings are somewhat limited, but as with other such tools (like gaydar) who uses their real names and primary e-mail adresses? Many of my friends have profiles with inaccurate surnames, linked to mail accounts specially created for facebook, since the apps do tend to send too many useless mails anyway.

I by no means condone such actions but it seems to be how it is done these days... to protect one's privacy and segregate lives.

Masturbedroom said...

Excuse me for being ageist GB, but how many of your friends, family and colleagues are actually on facebook? :P Or maybe facebook segregates social networks so well that there are few people outside my age group in my networks?

I have to say, you do come across as very young at heart. I want to be like you when I grow up!

GB said...

LOL masturbedroom, I don't deny that I'm probably older than the average facebook.com user. None the less, when facebook.com trawled through my Gmail account, it found over 30 matches amongst its existing members. But of course, if I didn't have friends who are younger than me, you probably wouldn't have been able to made your comment!

GB xxx

ZRS said...

Contrary to popular belief, you *can* limit the people within your buddy list who can view your other buddies. Ask me if you want help customizing your Facebook options more.