Timeout

I think I've been quite lucky with some of the characteristics that I've inherited from my parents. Lucky, because I reckon I've ended up with my father's brains and my mother's sunny disposition. Although my father is a clever guy, he's got a significant depressive streak in his personality. On the other hand, although my mother isn't academically strong, she's a sensible and kind woman who always looks on the bright side of life. Indeed, if forced to take all characteristics from one parent, I'd go for my mother's characteristics every time.

So I don't expect my current sadness to last. For a few days last year, I felt almost overwhelming sadness when I finally realised that my relationship with ex-boyfriend S was irretrievably broken. This time though, the sadness relates to boyfriend P.

I didn't blog about it at the time, but last summer an opportunity arose which might have allowed me to get an investment banking job in the city where boyfriend P works.  Unfortunately the global financial crisis put a stop to that, so I've been hoping that perhaps boyfriend P could move to live in London with me. Indeed, over the last year or more he's given me many signs that he might be able move to London one day. After our recent trip to Asia together, I thought that  everything was good between us.  However, now that ex-boyfriend S is out of the way and moving to London has actually become feasible, boyfriend P is no longer sure that it's such a good idea for him.

After a lot of discussions about our future, a couple of days ago we agreed a "timeout" so that we'll take a break from each other and discuss everything again in January. This means that we won't be with each other for either Christmas or New Year :-(. What's more, when we do discuss everything in January, it's clear that we might split up :-((.

If that does happen, at least I know that with my mother's cheerful outlook on life, the resulting sadness and depression won't last. Then, eventually I guess I'll be looking for a new boyfriend. Preparing myself for the worst, I think I've got lots of characteristics that other guys might find attractive :-), although I do have one skeleton in my closet. In the wake of the global financial crisis, my current job is in an area that lots of guys might regard as extremely unfashionable!