Thursday, December 25, 2008

Dilemma

When I met my colleague P and his boyfriend D for drinks last month, we all agreed that we'd go out for dinner together before Christmas. We also decided to invite W and his Polish boyfriend along too, because no one else had ever met W's boyfriend so we were all naturally curious to find out what sort of guy he is. Then, a week beforehand I realise that my colleague M would fit in with this crowd given that myself, P and W are all bankers, so I invite him along as well.

The day arrives and after work, I take a taxi with M to meet the others at the appointed venue, which a decent restaurant in Soho. On the way I tell M a bit about the other guys, so that he'll have an idea about who everyone is. But then a question occurs to me:

"If they ask, how shall we say that we know each other?" I ask. "It's clear that there's no way we could have met just from doing our daily jobs, let alone have worked out that we're both gay!"

"I'm not sure what's best," replies M, realising that we should co-ordinate our stories, "what do you think?"

"Well we could tell the truth if you like," I offer, "but perhaps it would be better to say that we met at the interbank drinks a few months ago instead?"

"Yeah, interbank drinks definitely!" laughs M, and it's agreed.

Everyone is pretty much on time. We have an aperitif in the restaurant bar, and later when we move to the table I end up seated in the middle with P's boyfriend D on one side, and M on the other side.

"There are a lot of countries in the world where we couldn't do this," starts M once we're all seated, "six gay guys socialising together openly in a smart restaurant!"

"Yeah, I think we could all be stoned to death in Islamic countries," says W.

"Actually," says M, "I've heard that in Islamic countries, if you're always the active guy you're not regarded as gay! You're just doing it for fun, because you don't have a woman or something!!"

"So, are you 'gay' GB?" D asks me quietly, while the others carry on talking about the attitudes that different religions have towards being gay. On several occasions D has tried to tempt me into getting to know him a bit better, but since he's P's boyfriend it feels inappropriate. I smile at him in a mildly disapproving way and carry on listening to the conversation about religious attitudes to homosexuality.

Later in the evening I end up chatting to D again while the others are talking about how good their respective mobile phones are at taking pictures.

"Actually my phone is quite good," says D quietly to me again. "Look, this is a great picture isn't it?"

I look at the picture that D's brought up on his phone and it's a picture of him, sitting there naked with a huge erection! I wasn't expecting that at all so I burst out laughing.

"What's that picture?" says P to D with a suspicious tone in his voice.

"Oh, just showing GB the pics that I took last weekend :-)," and indeed, when he turns the phone round for P to see it's a harmless pic of the two of them together in the countryside.

Everyone gets on very well and we spend almost three hours in the restaurant, chatting, eating and drinking. Eventually it seems like time to go and soon we're all saying goodbye to each other outside the restaurant and wishing each other Happy Christmas.

The next day though, I get a txt msg from D:

Hi GB nice seeing u last night .. Behave during Xmas . LOL . D

That's sweet, and mildly playful from him as usual, so I send him a playful reply:

Nice to see you too mate! Somehow I think it's you who are more likely to mis-behave than me LOL! Anyway have a good xmas, whatever you get UP to! GB xoxo

But his reply is a lot more direct that I was expecting:

You too .. Maybe we could mis-behave together one day xxx

Oh dear! The last time I met P and D I found out that D had fallen out with a close friend of P's in connection with D's activities, and the fact that D isn't monogamous seems to be a constant source of tension in their relationship. Everything tells me that I shouldn't get involved with D beyond the playful friendship that we've established, so I have to tell him that:

But I think that would make things too complicated! I don't want to fall out with either P or you. Anyway, I get the impression that your harem is quite full LOL. Stay safe, take care, GB x

D is an attractive guy of course, so surely he can find the fun he's after without needing to resort to seducing with P's friends and colleagues! Half an hour later D's answer arrives

Mm don't worry we wouldn't fall out ..x

but I don't respond.

It's a bit of a dilemma! Should I tell D that I'll never be available for any activities while he's P's boyfriend? Should I try and keep my options open somehow but without actually doing anything with him? Or should I take another course of action and hope that after a single session he'll be satisfied and then move on to focus on his next target? If any readers have any ideas on what I should do with D, please let me know!

Meanwhile of course, today is Christmas Day :-). The timeout with boyfriend P continues, so I'm spending it with ex-boyfriend S. He's an excellent cook so I'm very lucky :-). But anyway, wherever you are or whatever you're doing today, let me wish you a very Merry Christmas :-).

GB xxx

18 comments:

Ky said...

Merry Christmas GB.

FirstTime Reader said...

First time reader and I liked your X-Mas post a lot!

My advice - never do anything you wouldn't want your friends to do to you! If you are really good friends with P, then definitely D is hands-off! It just creates unnecessary drama, esp. if P is a really good friend of yours. D seems like a manwhore anyway, so I guess it's really what you value - a friedship or a romp in the sack with a manwhore.

EM said...

I'd say D is off limits as long as he's P's boyfriend and there's no harm in telling him that, which you pretty much did in your text response.

closetalk said...

merry christmas, GB.
and it seems to me... if ure ok with the whole polygamous thing, and u know D is... it doesn't hurt to have some discreet fun on the side. :) (dat'll make it a happy new year too! lol)

David said...

Merry christmas GB! My advise is to avoid having sex with your friend's boyfriend. It makes everything so complicated and it will hang over your relationship with P like the Sword of Damocles. FirstTimeReader has a point, how would you feel if your friend slept with your boyfriend?
Great post as usual!

Luuworld said...

Nicely written post, classic dilemma.

The question here, in my opinion, is whether or not your friendship with p & d is important to you or not. would it make any difference if you lost them as friends? if yes, don't play around... if no, then go for it!

Anonymous said...

Most probably all made up, like most other stories here... His friends most certainly read his blog and how could the guy with the polish slut boyfriend not be offended when he reads all this...?? tact or not tact.. that's the question! So believe it or not... the thacky Barbara Cartland stories in pink where more interesting than this big yaaawwn here...!

Anonymous said...

yeah, I agree with Anonymous before me. All a scam and hedonistic bull shit! A guy who pretends to have bf. from A to Z is a big slut himself and doesnt have a clue about life nor did he understand and inch besides the inches of his own cock! A species - all this so called Investment Bankers.. - who has or will die out. They have to as they are the most unnecessary event of the last two decades! So go home to mama .. whoever... an learn some manners.. as Marlene Dietrich used to say. It's time for mankind to come down to earth again and learn about the essential things in life. What we do not need anymore, as I said, are this egocentric and hedonistic species of city bankers who run for the taypayers shelter after the arrogant, irresponsible amateur behaviour is over... makes one puke!

Anonymous said...

taxpayers shelter... of course!

David said...

wtf?! anonymous 1 and 2 go spread your shit somewhere else. If you don't like the blog don't read it.

Nubian Dreams Blog said...

My first time on your blog. interesting story facing many of us. Be careful. Something similar happened to me. Happy Holidays everyone.

Anonymous said...

Dear GB,
A little flirtation never does anyone any harm and in your current circumstances with your relationship it can be a very good tonic to feel that your wanted...but beware.... as i said in previous comments on your post's sex does have attachments and this certainly would. I lost many friends along the way when someone slept with anothers partner..it is destructive. However it is your life and you should do what you want to do and not what others tell or suggest you to. Hope you had a good christmas? was it nice spending it with boyfriend S?

anyway take care Sx (and no this is not your S in case you think it)

Anonymous said...

Hey! There are plenty of fish in the sea... Get out of the dating pond and go after some big fish! Leave your friend to find his go-to. Don't fall into his soap opera. Those guys might not share the same idea of what their relationship parameters are, and until you are sure-stay away! tempting, I know, but the guy who is after you showed you one pic and his beau another. Not very honest, now was it? You go with him, you have to take part in his dishonesty.. Go out of your social circle and find someone else. Unless you are prepared and ready to welcome drama, hurt feelings, anger, etc.

Anonymous said...

yes annoy it is not honest at all. Photos are a curse....I have a friend who shared some private photos and the next thing you know they were being sent to other friends!! as a way of showing conquests. If he is as quick to show photos then he will be as quick to tell all.. not everyone has morals to keep tthings private in whatever disguise they use to explain their actions...stay away GB it's not worth it!
concerned reader x

GB said...

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you too Ky :-).

I think you're right FirstTimeReader and EM, activities with D are best avoided!

Out of all the comments so far closetalk, you're the only person who thinks that I should get to know D a bit better! I reckon you're just after an amusing post from me after it all goes wrong LOL.

I see that you agree with FirstTimeReader and EM, David. Thanks for your support in your second comment, too :-).

Indeed Luuworld, although P and D aren't close friends of mine, I wouldn't want to lose them so I'd better stay away!

Actually first anonymous commenter, whoever you are, as far as I know the only friend of mine who's aware of my blog is boyfriend P.

Didn’t you learn any English grammer second anonymous commenter, whoever you are? For example, it should be "all these so called Investment Bankers" rather than "all this so called Investment Bankers", and it should be "and learn some manners" rather than "an learn some manners".

I don't follow what you mean about "taxpayers shelter" third anonymous commenter, whoever you are.

You leave us all wondering what exactly happened to you, Nubian Dreams Blog? Did you indulge, or stay well away??

Yes, fourth anonymous commenter (a.k.a. S), I did have a nice Christmas day with ex-boyfriend S :-). I think you've pinpointed one of my problems though, I do enjoy the flirting!

Indeed fifth anonymous commenter, whoever you are, I am trying to live my life more honestly these days. Perhaps I should tell D that we can only take things further if he gets P to tell me that it's all right?

I think you're right, sixth anonymous commenter (a.k.a. concerned reader), a guy like that isn't trustworthy. So with your warning, and all the warnings of other readers (except closetalk!), I'm definitely NOT going to take things any further with D for the time being.

GB xxx

Anonymous said...

typical arrogance of you stuck up british SOB's! My mother tongue is german and I speak french, english, spanish and italien besides my mother tongue. You british and americans do not even manage to learn one foreign language! I wouldnt want to correct your german! Typical stuck up arrogance and intolerance of the selfish egocentrical,hedonistic thirties something queer crowd! Pathetic! Get rid of your pampers before you start judging grown ups!!!

GB said...

Hmmm recent anonymous commenter, I think you mean SNOB instead of SOB, LOL! Also, in English it's written Italian rather than italien.

GB xxx

Anonymous said...

I clearly mean what I say: SOB - I'm American trained!

I know you British must have your own expressions for everything... lavatories for toilets and a lot of other nasal, horsey royal crap...!

I never forget this "upper class" British gal - Annabel was her name - I used to work with at James Capel (now HSBC) some 20 + years ago: ..I said f...! several times under stress and she got visibly annoyed and wanted to have a WORD with me in a conference room. A. said something like this: ..Using these American four letter words around here is totally inappropriate and rude... It's much better to say:... Good heaveans... or then the UTMOST you can use is damn !!! ...still laughing my ass off today!

Doesnt that sum it up apporiately?!