Friday, August 15, 2008

Time for a bit of diversity

It became clear to me last month, when discussing my boyfriends with Close Encounters, that I need to find alternative potential boyfriends to boyfriend P. Although I love boyfriend P, and I think to some extent he loves me too, I'm definitely not the only man in his life. So like any good banker looking after a portfolio of investments, I need to diversify!

The following weekend I'm doing some work at home, so I decide to log onto to the usual two gay chat sites that I used to use, namely gaydar and Initially I focus on my work, but when I take a break I notice that there's a guy nearby who's put a message into one of the chat rooms looking for someone local. I bring up his profile and he looks really cute, in fact he wouldn't look out of place as the star of a porn movie! I decide to try my luck, so I open a private chat window with the guy who turns out to be called M:

GB: hi mate, I'm not far from you
M: where r u?
M: stats?
M: whats u into?
M: face pic?

Blimey mate, slow down, we've only just met each other! I answer some of his questions, and tell him where to find my pics on the Internet.

M: nice
GB: although I'm close to you, I can't accom
M: cool
M: im lookin for quick sex
M: u come over, we play, u leave

Wow, this guy is very direct, no beating around the bush with him! I'm sure that I'd be able to focus on my work much better after visiting him, so I find his suggestion hard to resist.

GB: that's fine, I'd love to visit you for a quick session mate
M: is that ok
GB: yeah, sure :-)
M: whats ur HIV status?

I always find it amazing how little I get asked this question when I'm cruising online. I'll often ask the question myself, but being asked instead makes me happy because it shows that the guy is smart, and meeting up with smart guys is always more fun. Although a guy may not know his HIV status, I still think it's a good question to ask because sometimes a guy will know that he's HIV positive and be honest about it, so sometimes it does help prevent mistakes.

GB: I'm HIV negative
GB: u?
M: cool
M: same
GB: so where exactly r u?
M: how hung?

Occasionally when chatting online there's that kind of disruption to the natural conversation flow, where both guys ask something at the same time. On this occasion I reckon my question is much smarter than his, why do guys worry about that so much? Still, I don't mind revealing such an intimate detail to a complete stranger as long as he does the same! We swap measurements and then he tells me where he lives.

M: u know where that is?
GB: i'll search google maps, hang on
M: u have a car? how u gettin here
GB: I'll grab a cab so won't take long. u got a mobile number?
M: yes
M: but dont give, i have a bf
M: need discretion
GB: no worries mate, I am very discrete (have bf too!)

Of course the truth is that my boyfriend situation is rather complicated, but he doesn't need to know that!

M: how long u need
GB: 30 mins max, hopefully sooner
M: 30 min is too long
M: sorry
M: some other time then

What?? After all this, how long did he expect me to take? In my experience it's extremely rare to find someone online who can meet more quickly than that. Perhaps I'm too honest in these situations, simply because I hate giving false impressions. Maybe I should say 15 minutes and then take half an hour or more, which is the sloppy attitude that some guys seem to adopt!

GB: It'll probably be sooner mate
M: make it quick
M: see ya
M: bye

Ahhh, so perhaps I can visit after all :-)? However, saying "make it quick" so soon after "some other time" seems quite contradictory. I hate being stood up so I want a clear answer before I set off.

GB: u want me to come or not? I've got your address, I'll make it quick, but I don't want a wasted journey
M: forget it
M: some other time

Damm!! Ahhh well, better to find out now rather than arrive and find out that he's not there! In these situations I don't think that it's cool to try and get the guy to change his mind, I reckon it's much better to be polite and hope that some future liaison might be possible.

GB: ok take care
GB: bye for now x
M: gotta study
M: u too
M: xxx

So he's got to study? The change of mind might make sense if he had to go out soon, but not if he's staying in studying!

I stay logged into the chat rooms, but reluctantly I close the chat window with M and return to my work. However, 3 minutes later, a chat windows suddenly pops up at me:

M: hey, u still there
M: how quickly could u get here
GB: 20-30 mins
M: ok, why dont u come over
GB: great, see you soon x

I guess that for some reason he'd been in two mind about meeting me, but eventually his natural urges got the better of him!

Since it's summer, I don't need to get a coat or anything so I head out immediately to find a cab. Twenty minutes later and I'm buzzing his flat at the building where he lives:

"Yeah?" says a voice on the other end of the intercom.

"Hi, it's GB," but before I can say anything else ...

"Top floor!"

I hear the door buzzing, and pushing it hard, I'm soon inside. It turns out that it's a five storey building and there isn't a lift, but none the less it's not long before I'm knocking at his door. The door opens slightly and a cute face smiles out at me.

"You got up here quickly :-)," says M in an American accent.

"Well I think I'm reasonably fit :-)," I say smiling back, "a few stairs don't bother me!"

Face to face he looks just as good as he did in the pics that I'd seen online, if not better. Once inside, I see that he's only wearing a pure white dressing gown. I imagine that he's not wearing much underneath, so I start to take my t-shirt off while he's closing the door.

"Not wasting any time I see :-)," he says approvingly, looking me up and down.

The flat consists of just two main rooms, a bedroom at the back, and a living area which includes the kitchen at the front. I follow him into the bedroom where I spot a large table covered with books with a laptop in the middle. No doubt he had been studying, just like he said.

"Can I put my clothes on that chair?" I ask, pointing at the chair in front of the table.

"Oh sure, leave them anywhere".

I sit down to take my shoes off, and when I look up M's lying naked on the bed, slowly playing with himself. I can certainly tell that he's pleased to see me!

"Wow, you're not wasting any time either :-)."

Looking at his fit body, I decide that he must quite a keen member of a gym somewhere. I feel like I'm participating in a porn movie.

"Just join me when you're ready," he replies in quite a relaxed voice now, "no hurry."

Soon I'm naked too so I hop onto the bed and start touching him.

"Do you have sensitive nipples?" I say, rubbing them gently.

"Mmmmm, yes :-)" replies M.

Gradually we get more and more involved with each other, and we have a wonderful time with together. But it's over all too quickly.

"Phew, that was GOOD!", says M, panting slightly.

We lay there for a short while, relaxing.

"So I guess you're boyfriend doesn't know that you meet guys like me!" I say to him.

"No," says M firmly, "Actually he's very funny about this kind of thing. But I reckon that sex outside a relationship is like dessert, a nice extra that compliments the main course! The boyfriend doesn't need to know about this, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him. For example, it's nice to meet older guys like you sometimes for diversity :-)."

"That's exactly the way I think about relationships," I say, "but so many guys seem hooked on the idea of monogamy for some reason, it's crazy!"

"Yeah I know."

"Can I have a quick glass of water before I go?" I ask, getting up to put my clothes back on.


M gets up and strolls naked into the living area to get to the kitchen, and soon returns with a glass of mineral water, still looking quite horny!

"Thanks :-)," I say, "What's your boyfriend like anyway?"

"Oh he's mid 20's like me, a very fit gym jock type, actually his body is a bit too perfect! I'm not sure that I'll be with him much longer though."

"Really?" I ask, "What's the matter?"

"He limits himself so much, because he only likes gay male company. Everywhere he goes has to be gay, gay bars, gay gyms, and if I try to go out with him to a restaurant or something which isn't gay he's visibly uncomfortable. I'm gay, sure, so I like having sex with other guys and I want boyfriends but that's it. I don't need to live my whole life in the gay ghetto! What about you anyway, does your boyfriend know what you get up to?"

"Actually I'm splitting up with my London boyfriend," I say.

"Sorry to hear that."

"Yeah, well, I've actually got another boyfriend who lives abroad so life's a bit complicated at the moment!"

M looks fascinated, but I don't feel like discussing it at the moment so I try to change the subject.

"Anyway, what are you studying for?"

"Oh, it's these FSA exams that I've got to pass :-(, they're a real bore!"

"FSA? I guess you work for a bank then?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I did those exams too when I started work in the City. I also work for a bank!"


"Anyway, I'd better be going? As I recall, you just wanted a quick visit!"

"Errr yeah, thanks for coming over :-)," says M looking as though he wished I could stay a bit longer, "Let's keep in touch, eh :-)? Hope to see you again sometime?"

"Yes definitely :-)," I say, "I'll look out for you online!"

Sitting in a cab going back home, I realise that in many ways it was a perfect encounter. A bit of fun with a genuinely gorgeous guy, and then when we got chatting with each other afterwards we really seemed to click. I still love boyfriend P of course, but just as M says, sometimes it's nice to have a tasty dessert :-)!


Ken Skinner said...

Ah, your problem with time estimation isn't that you're being overly conservative, it's that you're using Google Maps. I just asked it to tell me the fastest way to drive from east London to Oxford Circus and it told me I should go THE WRONG WAY down Tottenham Court Road!!!! Clearly if you used Mapquest or similar you could get to shags in half the time.

This is a public service announcement on behalf of...

Anonymous said...

Great story, GB. I know you try to keep this site relatively clean, sometimes x-rated but never XXX. Have you ever thought of submitting stories with full X-rated detail to gay porn sites like ? You write so well, I'm sure you could get your audience aroused and looking for more.

Anonymous said...

RE: asking someone's HIV status for an online hook-up: I think it's a wasted effort. It doesn't matter what the other guy says because guys lie all the time and most guys don't even get tested regularly. I have found that guys who ask about HIV status are usually looking to bareback, ESPECIALLY younger guys. What's up with that? My policy has always been to treat the other guy as if he is HIV positive and just have safe sex.

Dodgy Blogger said...

Good point re: HIV status, especially when "The boyfriend doesn't need to know about this, and what he doesn't know won't hurt him.", so that leaves the field open for plenty other lies to some unknown pick-up.

Surely to keep on and on about monogamy is missing the point. The fundamental point often raised here is who you choose to tell things to and what you tell them. Let them decide what they can live with and what will hurt them, surely? Or am i missing something here; is that also part of some people's polyamorosity? It isn't part of mine.

Back to HIV; status is much less important if safe sex is the only rule...

Anonymous said...

talking about diversity... does this diversify ure race portfolio?

Anonymous said...

"Although I love boyfriend P, and I think to some extent he loves me too, I'm definitely not the only man in his life. "

Perhaps I've missed something, but are you splitting up with P because you're not the only man in his life? Ermmm.... isn't that rather a case of pots and kettles? :)

GB said...

I don't know, honestly, what ARE you readers like! Hardly any of you left comments to try and help the guy who sent me the 'Dear GB' email recently, but as soon as I do a posting about an encounter it attracts 6 comments in a day!!

Anyway, thanks for the advice about Google Maps Kenski :-), luckily I've never used it for directions or to work out travel times!

Interesting idea Cody. However there's nothing stopping me from posting XXX-rated details here (or in another blog) if I wanted to. Blogging is a hobby for me, so this blog is a collection of all the things that I enjoy writing about. With encounters, the things I enjoy writing about are the situations, the people (including me), their lives and their attitudes etc, rather than the sex.

I think your policy is sound, bartleby scrivener, however I still think it's worth asking about a guy's HIV status. If nothing else it helps raise awareness about HIV and sexually transmitted diseases. In my opinion not everyone has a sensible attitude to this subject.

Actually I'm a bit bored of the monogamy issue too, Dodgy Blogger, but the subject keeps coming up! I'm not sure, though, how someone can let you know what they don't want to know about because it would hurt them. They'd have to anticipate all possible scenarios and discuss them well in advance. Once something has happened, a guy can't ask his boyfriend out of the blue "do you want to know if I have sex with another guy" because it immediately implies that the event has already occurred!

Yes closetalk, M actually has a fascinating racial background, although for the sake of everyone's anonymity I'm not going to divulge the details!

Tommo, read the post A discussion about my boyfriends!

GB xxx

SubtleKnife said...

I don't really have anything sensible to add, just to say that my friend the bus driver is back from his holidays and started texting me wholly inappropriate things during office hours. I was too tired for anything to happen yesterday so I hope he's not working tonight...

SubtleKnife said...

PS. I never even ask for HIV status, not because it seems it's "not done" for straight people, but simply because it doesn't mean anything what the guy says or thinks.

Monty said...

I just want to say...wahoooo! GB's back in the saddle - it's been a while since your last encounters post! :-)

Anonymous said...

GB - Darling - great story, but why did you leave the measurement part out and where we can find your pic ? You should tell your readers a l l the news which are fit to print !!!!
And its quite true, there a a lot of quite bankers out there in the City

Unknown said...

Why bother with monogomy when you can live as an island? Sure, it's expensive on so many levels, but if you can afford the luxury, why not.

By comparison, I think the point of monogomy is that you leave yourself to someone completely; it takes REAL strength of character and resolve.

Like you, and apparently, a good number of gay men (though I think less are prepared to be that candid openly), I don't think I have that strength of character or resolve either.

Good luck with your hunting GB. And apologies for not having posted any messages recently. I actually got bored of the tortured and somewhat juvenile monogomy debate and tuned out! It's all too much like watching a scene from Will and Grace.


Unknown said...

Sorry, the last paragraph should have read "of the" somewhat juvenile...

Unknown said...

Sorry, have just read again, it was ok after all. My contact lenses are strained after a long day!

GB said...

Hope you have fun with your well endowed bus driver, SubtleKnife :-). But statistically, it's not true that someone's response to the HIV question doesn't mean anything. If you take a large sample of the population, ask them that question and separate them into two groups depending on their answer, the proportion of HIV positive people will be lower in the group that answered "I'm HIV negative" that it was in the original sample.

Thanks for your support Monty :-). Glad to see that things are going well with McBrad, and that some of his friends think that you're HOT!

I think you're right glhairyfxxker, the monogamy debate is a bit tortured and somewhat juvenile! But don't worry about not posting any comments recently (or even any posts to your blog!), you're always welcome here :-).

GB xxx

MadeInScotland said...

thank heavens you are sensible at last...

...and ask for a glass of water