A visit from my female Mexican friend

When I found out that my Mexican friend 'N' was going to pass through London on route to visit her new boyfriend, I offered to put her up for the night. I hadn't seen her since the trip to Asia last autumn, so it was going to be good catching up with her :-). It then turned out that on the night that she wanted to stay with me, I'd promised to take my friend P and his Polish boyfriend out for dinner. Guessing that N and P would enjoy each other's conversation, I decide that the simplest thing to do would be to all go out for dinner together, so I book a table for four in a smart London restaurant and the arrangements are complete.

On the day, my friend P and his boyfriend arrive at the restaurant first, so when I arrive a little later with N we find them seated in the restaurant bar drinking margaritas.

"Hi sweeties," I say to my friend P and his boyfriend, kissing each of them on both cheeks, "this is N :-)".

"Hi everyone," says N to the two of them with a huge smile on her face.

"Shall we move into the restaurant?" I suggest.

The table that we're shown to sits two people on each side. We arrange ourselves so that I'm facing my friend P, next to my friend P's boyfriend, and with N diagonally opposite me. The conversation seems to flow easily and during the course of the evening we chat about absolutely everything!

"So how are you getting on looking for a new boyfriend?" my friend P asks me quietly, while N is talking to his boyfriend.

"Oh, I suppose that I've got one or two romantic interests at the moment :-)," I say coyly.

"Well done," he replies, as though he was expecting me to say that I was having a hard time dating.

"I don't know if you ever use online sites like gaydar," he continues, "but here's a tip. If you're not interested in meeting a particular guy then you can use the phrase not what I'm looking for at the moment, which is good because it keeps your options open :-). Just ask me if need any more help!"

I find it amusing that P thinks that I know so little about online cruising, which I suppose proves that I've covered my tracks well. Although I could tell him that I know a lot more than he thinks, I decide that it's far too much fun letting him think that I'm a novice, so I just look at him blankly and smile.

Later in the evening, the conversation inevitably moves onto the subject of Men.

"I wonder whether we like similar things, when it comes to finding a boyfriend," says N to my friend P.

"Well, I'm quite keen on guys who've got something substantial downstairs," he replies grinning at his boyfriend, "it's important isn't it?"

"Well, up to a point," agrees N , "but there is such a thing as too big!"

"Not for me!"

"Oh yes, I bet there is," replies N with an authoritative tone in her voice, "let me tell you. I was dating this guy once and it got to the point where we were getting undressed and when I saw it I said NO, NO WAY, you just put that thing back wherever you found it and take it home because there's NO WAY that it's coming anywhere near me!"

I start giggling at N's story, imagining the situation and what the look on the guy's face must have been when N told him that his pride and joy was too big!

"Really?" says P, clearly surprised.

"You probably don't know this," continues N, "but when a woman is doing it with a man, if he penetrates too far inside and touches her cervix, it's very painful. But this guy, I swear, it was so big that it would be right past my cervix, right up through my body, I'm sure it would have even been past my tonsils and peeking out of my mouth!"

She starts laughing, and to emphasise her point, and she puts her hand to her mouth and imitates what it would be like with something huge coming out of her mouth from inside. Unable to control myself, I collapse in fits of laughter, much to the amusement of everyone on my table and to the annoyance of the other diners in the restaurant!

"So you never did anything else with the guy?" asks P, giggling a bit too.

"No actually, that was the end of it," replies N with a matter-of-fact tone in her voice now, "we stopped dating after that. A guy who's that big is no good for me!"

Gradually I regain control of myself and slowly the conversation moves onto other subjects.

Thinking back over the conversations that I've had with N since I've known her, whenever we have one of these sex-oriented discussions these days I always think that we've finally exhausted such topics. But each time I'm with her, somehow we always manage to find new angles, usually with the result that I crack-up laughing! In any case, it was very good to see N again :-). Although we live in different cities and in different countries, I hope that we somehow manage to remain friends.