Sunday, September 08, 2013

My first guy from Grindr

A few months ago, no doubt because I'm a gay blogger, I received a marketing email from Grindr. The email arrived on 25th March 2013 and told me that Grindr was just 4 years old. That means that Grindr didn't even exist back at the start of 2009 when I met ex-boyfriend T on gaydar! The marketing hype in that email was certainly exaggerated, because I strongly disagree with the following quote from Joel Simkhai (the founder and CEO of Grindr) that was contained in the email:
"Grindr has proven to be an invaluable resource for men across the globe when they’re looking to meet-up. Five years ago, the only sure fire way to meet another gay man was to go to specific gay clubs or bars …"
How on earth can he ignore the huge number of gay dating web sites that existed back then and still exist today, i.e. gaydar,, manhunt, gayromeo, fitlads, manjam, the fetish site recon, and so on? However, I'm not going to disagree with his first sentence. Even though I haven't been on the dating or cruising scene since 2009, I am well aware that Grindr has become an invaluable resource for finding like-minded guys who're nearby!

Although I split up with ex-boyfriend T in late July, I didn't start using Grindr until mid August. A couple of days after my enjoyable 24 hours, I'm logged into Grindr in the morning when a cute young Asian guy (who turns out to be called M) sends me a few messages:

M: Morning
M: Do u like Asian guys
M: U look nice :-)
GB: Thx
GB: My last 2 boyfriends were Asian
M: :)
M: I like older white guys
M: Looking for fun n bf

We chat a bit more, and it turns out that he's originally from Bengal, although he lives in the UK now. One thing about Grindr is that it only lets you post one pic on your profile, although it does allow you to send pics that you've got stored on your device through its message system. So we exchange a couple more pics, and he seems to like me:

M: U look really nice guy
GB: Are you free to meet now? Easier to talk face to face than this msg system
M: Yah
M: U can come to mine if you like

He gives me his address, and before too long I'm in a taxi headed towards his apartment. The apartment turns out to be located on the top floor of a recently refurbished tower block, and there's still a lot of building work going on at the base of the tower, so it takes me a while to work out where the entrance is. But once I find the right entrance, he buzzes me into the building and soon I'm in a lift heading up to the floor where his apartment is located.

Stepping out of the lift, I look around and see M peering out from behind his door with an inviting smile on his face, so I walk over to him.

"Nice to meet you :-)," I say quietly, in case any of his neighbours are listening, "can I come in?"

He lets me into his apartment without saying a word. He's dressed in a t-shirt, with a sarong loosely tied around his waist. I can't help wondering whether he's wearing any underwear under the sarong, although I expect that the answer is 'No' :-).

"Thanks for coming over :-)", he says still smiling, once the door has been closed.

"No problem," I reply, putting my arm on his nearest shoulder and smiling back at him, "now, where do you want me?"

"Shall we have a cup of coffee?" he asks.

We walk along a corridor which is cluttered with a couple of bikes and various other stuff that I don't look at too closely, but once we get into the main living area I'm immediately impressed by the views.

"Wow," I say amazed, standing in his kitchen, "from here you can see Canary Wharf, AND all the skyscrapers in the City of London too :-)."

"Unfortunately it's not my apartment," says M, with a tone in his voice that suggests that he needs to admit something to me.

"This apartment belongs to my boyfriend, well …, he's sort of my boyfriend!"

While he's making the coffee, he tells me about his situation.

"We've been together for about two years now, but my so-called 'boyfriend' isn't really into relationships. So it's an open relationship, and he's off all time meeting other guys, although we still have sex together too. I'm not happy because I want a proper relationship, that starts out as monogamous for the first few years at least."

"And where is your boyfriend now?" I ask, wondering if I'm likely to meet him at all.

"Oh, he's away for a few weeks. He's not originally from the UK so he's back visiting his friends and family in his home country, and sleeping with lots of guys there too I'm sure!"

I feel a bit sorry for M because he's a gorgeous guy and very friendly too, but he's clearly not happy with his domestic arrangements. He's also just the sort of person that I'd be happy to introduce to my mother as my own boyfriend, so I'm surprised that he hasn't found himself a much better partner to live with.

"Anyway," he says smiling at me now, "what about you?"

I tell him about my recent split with ex-boyfriend T, and we chat a bit more about our work and our lives while we drink the coffee.

"Where did I leave my phone?" says M suddenly, and he starts to get up from his chair. I look down at his sarong, and I think I can make out a nice perky bulge in the appropriate place! As he passes where I'm sitting, he leans towards me and gives me a slow kiss on the lips.

"Hmmm, that's nice :-)," I say, and rather than staying where I am, I get up to follow him around as he tries to find his phone.

A few seconds later, he turns to look at me, and now it's me that starts kissing him. Putting my hand underneath his tea shirt, I gently start playing with his nipples too. I can tell that he enjoys it!

"Let me help you," I say quietly, and I lift his t-shirt over his head so that he's standing there half naked, nipples slightly erect, now wearing only his sarong. He helps me off with my t-shirt too, and for a short while we stand there with our bare chests pressed together as we hug and cuddle each other for the first time. Reaching down, I now loosen his sarong too, and as it drops to the floor everything is as I expected! No underwear, and with the perky bulge now proudly exposed as proof that he's been enjoying my attention :-).

"Perhaps we'd be more comfortable in the bedroom," he says with a huge grin on his face, so I follow him down the cluttered hall. Soon we're both naked on his bed, and we have a wonderful time together :-). Afterwards, we just lie there for a while, cuddling each other and feeling very comfortable in each other's company.

"It would be nice to see you again," says M as we're getting dressed. "Perhaps you'd like to stay over one night? There are great night-time views of the London skyline from this apartment, but you'll need to come over before my 'boyfriend' gets home!"

"Yes, I'd like that very much :-)," I answer, "or perhaps you'd like to visit me?"

However, a few days later, I agree with M that I should visit him late one evening and stay overnight. We both have other commitments during the evening, so I don't end up arriving until just before 11pm.

"I brought you a bottle of wine," I say smiling at him as he lets me into his apartment.

"Thanks GB, that's great," he says closing the door, smiling back at me. "Come on, let's go through and have a drink :-)."

Sitting again in his kitchen, the night-time views are certainly spectacular. He gets a cold bottle of white wine out of the fridge, pours a couple of classes, and we sit together with our legs slightly touching as we look out at the London skyline.

"Do you do drugs at all?" he asks.

"Apart from this one?" I ask playfully, holding up my wine glass. "Not much actually! In the past I've done a little bit of cannabis in its various forms, but not much else. What about you?"

"My 'boyfriend' smokes quite a bit of marijuana," replies M, "but he also does a bit of E and sometimes LSD. I often join in with him when he does."

"I had some friends a few years ago that liked E," I say, "They used to talk about 'love-ey' E and 'dancey' E. The 'dancey' E was apparently good when you wanted to go to night clubs and dance all night, and the 'love-ey' E just made you want to cuddle each other, or something like that :-). But I never tried it. I was always worried about whether I trusted the dodgy looking people who supplied it!"

"Yes, you have to trust the people you get it from," replies M, "but having sex while on E is amazing! It would be nice to do it with you sometime :-)?"

I haven't ever had an opportunity like this before, and I find myself quite tempted, although I'm a bit nervous about the idea too.

"Are you suggesting tonight?" I ask M, curious to find out more.

"Actually, if you've never done it before, it would be best to do it somewhere that you're familiar with. Perhaps I can stay at your place sometime, and then we could do it there?"

"OK, that's a nice idea :-)."

We talk for ages, drinking a few glasses of wine, and looking out at the amazing view. While we're chatting, he shows me what the E tablets look like, and also shows me some LSD which he's got in the fridge. But we don't take anything.

After an hour or so, we both start to feel slightly tired, so eventually we make our way into the bedroom. We kiss and cuddle and play with each other etc, and when we're all done we fall asleep naked in each other's arms. The next morning we have breakfast together, and tentatively agree that M should stay the night with me at some point in the near future.

Since then M's 'boyfriend' has returned, so I haven't been able to visit him again in that stunning apartment. But we've exchanged a few txt msgs, although no further meetings have been arranged. At this stage I'm not sure whether I'll end up seeing M again or not. In any case, I certainly hope that he ends up getting a new boyfriend that can give him the love and attention that he deserves :-).


Ashton said...

Oh GB. Definitely don't want to see you touch/ do drugs!

GB said...

Don't kid yourself, Ashton, that alcohol and cigarettes aren't drugs because they are. It's just that due to some historical accident, they're the ones that are most socially acceptable in the Western world. In any case, I have no intention of becoming any kind of addict, it's just that I've just always been curious about E :-).

Overall, my views about drug legalisation haven't changed since this post where I mention taking marijuana in Amsterdam. So I'm very glad that the tide has recently turned, because Uruguay is legalising marijuana, and a couple of American states have also done so :-).

GB xxx

Blogger123 said...


Nice blog, I just voted 5 for you on BMB, hope you get a chance to return the favor.


Mind Of Mine said...

GB - I have tried everything, any drug you can think off...and then some.

Let me tell you right now, you will not enjoy sex whilst on ecstasy, especially if you are expected to be the top. It is not a nice experience. But if you are curious, I would suggest you go to a club, try it in the setting its meant to be tried, it will give you a better understanding on how it will make you feel.