A weekend in the English countryside

A few weeks ago, myself and boyfriend number 1 went on a weekend trip out of London. We had arranged to meet up with my colleague P and his boyfriend D for dinner in the evening, because we both had reasons to visit the same area.

"There's an old friend of mine who lives near there too", P had said when we were originally discussing the trip, "so why don't we all have dinner together? It'll be fun!"

Because P's friend lives in the area, we decided that he should book a table for five people at whatever he thought was the best restaurant in the area. Everything was agreed.

On the day, I realise while I'm chatting to boyfriend number 1 that I know very little about P's friend. As usual, one subject in particular interests me. Is he gay or straight? Although someone's sexuality is purely a matter for themselves, I'll readily admit that I enjoy speculating about such matters.

"OK", I say to boyfriend number 1, "P told me that his friend had booked a table for five people, so he can't have a partner. He's probably a typical single gay guy that can't commit to a relationship".

"Amazing", replies boyfriend number 1, "that you can deduce all that information, simply from the number of people that the table is booked for!"

During the course of the day, I exchange txt msgs with P.

GB: Hi P:-), in what name is the reservation tonight? GB x

P: Hi GB. The name is XXXX XXXXXXX for 730. See you there x

So it's booked in P's friend's name, and it's not a common name. Towards the end of the afternoon, I'm checking emails online and I can't help googling the name, to see if I can find out anything about him. I find a single very plausible search result, a CV of a guy that used to work in finance, posted on a consultancy web-site to prove the credibility of their staff. And P used to work at one of the banks that this guy used to work for, it must be the same guy!

"Right", I tell boyfriend number 1, "I've changed my mind! Since P knows this guy from that bank he used to work for, the guy's more likely to be straight! But since the table's only been booked for five people, I bet he's divorced. Probably a messy divorce too, which will no doubt be entertaining if we get on to that subject!"

Boyfriend number 1 looks unimpressed.

On the way to the restaurant, I get a txt msg from P to say that him and D have already met up with this friend of his, but they're going to be a bit late. No problem, we should be able to work out which aperitif to choose on our own. But when we arrive, I'm in for a shock.

"Yes sir, we've got a table booked for six people in that name", says the maître d', "and one of your party is already here in the bar".

So much for all my speculating about the guy's sexuality based on a table for five! Anyway, the more the merrier, but who on earth could it be? A wife, a girlfriend, a boyfriend??

The maître d' takes us into the bar and there's only one person there. And it's a guy.

"Hi", he says to us, "you must be P's friends :-). I'm XXXX's best friend".

Best friend eh? He must mean 'best friend'. So surely XXXX is gay after all!

"We were at school together", he continues.

Awww, that's lovely, a gay couple that got to know each other at school :-).

It's not long before the other three arrive.

"Sorry we're late" says XXXX introducing himself, "the babysitter was late".

Errrr, what did you say mate? I'm completely confused. If he's a father, then perhaps the best guess is that he's straight after all. But his 'best friend' (or do I mean his best friend?) does look quite gay.

"I moved up here with my wife almost ten years ago now", he says while we're still introducing ourselves to each other. So he is straight then!

"But we got divorced a few years ago", he continues, "all quite amicably thank goodness".

Hmmm, or was the reason they divorced because he prefers men? Perhaps he's bisexual??

Round about this point, my mind implodes on itself! I don't feel I can ask outright whether he prefers todger to fanny because it's none of my business, so it'll just have to remain one of those mysteries.

During the course of the evening though, it turns out that he's quite keen on gaydar! Which was indeed the reason for the divorce. If he was bisexual, it seems that he's quite happy to identify as gay these days, although his best school friend has been gay for much longer. A case of two like-minded boys becoming friends because they had something in common which they didn't realise until much later in life. Still very sweet, even if they're not boyfriends after all!