Perhaps working out which side of the bed to sleep on is the easy part. What happens when the lights go out, after any activities, is interesting too.
As I've said before, I don't usually sleep very well when I'm on my own, because I'm so used to having another guy to cuddle up to while I'm trying to get to sleep. But if we're in a big bed together, will he come over onto my side for a cuddle, or should I move onto his? If I'm with a guy that I've slept with a lot like boyfriend P or boyfriend S, they know that I like to cuddle up when the lights go out so we'll usually meet in the middle. They both tell me that when I fall asleep holding them in my arms, I somehow naturally move back onto my side of the bed. But I've got no idea how it happens :-).
When I wake up though, whether it's in the middle of the night for some reason or in the morning, I may find that I've got less than half the bed to myself! Luckily I'm not the kind of guy who regards the middle of the bed as a strict boundary, as long as I'm not being completely pushed out of the bed. In that situation I'll usually just snuggle up to them again and try and remember, if they ever complain about me moving onto their side of the bed during my sleep, that they're guilty too. Snoring is another problem of course, but again, most guys will snore sometimes depending on what position they end up sleeping in.
In terms of cuddling, it's always interesting to see what happens after a casual encounter. More often than not, guys that I've met through gaydar or gay.com expect me to leave quite quickly once the activities are over! None the less, there's still a reasonable number of guys who like to doze and cuddle with me afterwards, and I always feel that those are the kind of guys who make the best boyfriends :-).
Sunday, May 11, 2008
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8 comments:
I agree with your last comment - that the guys who want a bit of a cuddle after a casual encounter are often the ones who would make the best boyfriends. But I have a theory that a lot of (single) guys actually need the cuddles, closeness of another guy much more than the pure sexual act. It is quite easy to find the pure sex - as it can be pretty anonymous and detached, but cuddling with someone - just holding them in your arms, is much more difficult to find as it is much less anonymous.
One of our good friends is simply uncuddleable. :-( He normally has a very high body temperature which means he's like cuddling a furnace, ergo, he never cuddles. Just not practical even though we like being together.
Activities scratch an itch but cuddles give an emotional connection that shows the person not only finds you sexy but also likes and accepts you.
I agree with Sir Wobin on this one. I only tend to cuddle guys I really take to after activities, but because I'm highly sensitive to heat, I usually don't do even that for very long. Much more indicative that I like someone is to cuddle them when they are fully clothed.
I often find cuddlers a bit desperate... They're usually the types of guys that don't want to start all over again...
Snuggling post-activity is the BEST! Snuggling pre-activity is also rather good. In fact, I LOVE SNUGGLING in all its aspects! And I've gotta say, McBrad is a sensational snuggler, and we tend to roll from one side of the bed to the other side over the course of a night.
Not on this particular entry but on your blog in general. Makes quite an interesting read- not your "run-of-the-mill-I-am-gay-and I-am-so-different" blog. I have already added it to my favorites and I am definitely going to be a frequent visitor.
Cheers!
Sam
PS: Since you seem to be quite popular and only "may" respond, I am going to be a silent reader :)
I think glhairyfxxker is sort of right when he says 'I often find cuddlers a bit desperate.' Does anyone else find this?
It's interesting what you say about single guys needing cuddles BritInThe Hague. I think it must relate to Sir Wobin's suggestion that cuddling is ultimately more intimate than sex.
But I'm not sure I agree with glhairyfxxker's idea, supported by some random anonymous commenter, that guys who like to cuddle are a bit desperate. Perhaps it's just that after activities, if one guy wants to cuddle and the other guy doesn't, maybe the guy who doesn't want to cuddle isn't sufficiently attracted to the other guy because as to Sir Wobin says it's more intimate?
Glad to hear that McBrad is a good snuggler Monty, I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear that all the guys I call boyfriends are good snugglers too :-).
Also glad to hear you find my blog interesting Sam :-). But do leave comments if you can. The "I may even respond"" comment relates to emails, although in practice I do try and reply to any emails that I get sent!
GB xxx
I love cuddling, but it also depends with who. Some guys are more cuddly than others and depending on how much I like the other person (physically or as a person) I may prefer leaving.
I disagree it's some sort of sign of desperation though.
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