You're the most gorgeous guy in the galaxy :-)

A few days ago, a reader left a comment asking for a post about chat-up lines. Although I don't usually pay much attention to anonymous comments, I've decided to make an exception on this occasion. However, I've got a confession to make.

I'm not very good chatting up guys face to face! I suppose I used to be OK at it, because I met boyfriend S face to face so I must have done something right :-). However, that was back in 1989. Since then, although I've met a few guys for fun and found some other boyfriends too :-), all the initial contact has been online rather than face to face.

By co-incidence, an old Star Trek Next Generation episode was on cable TV a couple of days ago, and in it there was a chat-up scene between two of the characters. Will Riker tries to show the young Wesley Crusher how to chat up girls by using a chat-up line on Whoopi Goldberg's Guinan character. It went something like:

"You're the most beautiful woman in the galaxy," starts Riker, looking deeply into Guinan's eyes.

"Surely that's too corny," says Wesley quietly in disbelief.

"Oh no," says Guinan smiling, looking seductively into Riker's eyes, "that works :-). Tell me more ..."

But do gay guys like to be flattered with implausible one-liners like that?

There are some advantages to using that kind of chat-up line. To deliver such a line in a meaningful way and with good eye-contact requires a lot of self-confidence, and self-confidence like that is very attractive. Lines like that have clear intention too, whereas if one just tries to get chatting to a guy by asking him what the time is he won't necessarily know that you're interested in him. Also, if you imagine being on the receiving end of such a line it's going to grab your attention as long as the guy telling you that you're the most gorgeous guy in the galaxy seems to be sincere. And that's all one needs, something to grab the other guy's attention so that a conversation begins :-).

As this example suggests, rather than the line that one uses, it's other things that are probably more important. I reckon confidence is top of the list, but eye-contact is important too, as well as a good smile, sincerity and so on. Also, whatever line one uses, I reckon it's important to think ahead and work out what one's follow up lines will be depending on the most likely answers. For example, if one goes for a simple "Can I buy you a drink?" which is also a clear indication of interest, everything will be fine if the guy says "Yes" but having a response for "No, I'm all right thanks" is crucial, if only as an exit strategy to avoid losing face.

As I said above, I don't think I know much about picking up guys face to face. It might be fun to try and develop some expertise in this area, however with boyfriend P and boyfriend S in my life at the moment I'm not looking for any further connections. So do any readers have some thoughts on the best way to pick-up guys in offline situations?