Every now and then, I wonder what's happened to all the guys that I've encountered over the years, and whether I'll ever run into any of them again. This thought wasn't in my mind yesterday when I went along to one of my usual group exercise gym classes, but during my class, I notice that there are a couple of new male participants that I haven't seen there before.
"That new guy looks cute :-)," I think to myself during one of the pauses between exercises.
Then suddenly I recognise him! It's a guy who I'd visited for fun on a few occasions early last year. I'd even gone out for dinner with him once, after which he came back and stayed the night with me in my house. I had wondered whether he'd make a nice boyfriend, but after the dinner I'd decided that he was a bit dull, so I didn't pursue anything with him.
Nonetheless, I remember that he's a nice guy so all through the class I keep glancing in his direction, trying to smile at him and make eye contact. However, either he doesn't notice, or he doesn't want to notice! Perhaps he's upset that I wasn't interested in deepening our casual friendship.
"Hey," I say to him after the class, "I think I visited you in your apartment last year :-)."
He looks at me and smiles, but it's quite a distant smile.
"Yes," he says after a short pause, "I think we have met before."
"Have you done that class before?" I ask, trying to make the conversation last, "I haven't noticed you in there before."
"I only started recently," he replies, "but I'm quite enjoying it."
We chat a bit more as we both head to the men's changing room, and gradually the conversation becomes easier.
Once in the changing room, we make our way to our own lockers, which turn out to be quite close to each other. He's a bit faster than me at stripping off, and as I'm about to take my shorts off, I look up to see him smiling at me.
"Hey," he says, with a cute smile on his face and looking me straight in the eye, "are you coming into the sauna?"
All his muscles are glistening slightly with sweat. Indeed, he looks magnificent standing there wearing nothing except a white towel around his waist, which only just covers his essentials so that it's possible to see a bit of pubic hair peeping over the towel.
"Um," I reply, hesitating, "actually I got to get back to work :-(".
"Pity ...," he says, looking me up and down approvingly.
"See you soon I hope :-)," I say smiling at him, and with that he heads off towards the sauna.
Later, I tell boyfriend T all about what happened.
"So why didn't you go into the sauna with him?" he asks me.
"I don't need to do that kind of thing any more, not now that I've got you :-)."
"Well indeed," says boyfriend T looking at me disapprovingly, "so you're supposed to tell him that you've got a boyfriend in that situation!"
"But I couldn't say that I've got a boyfriend in the middle of the changing room with lots of other guys around," I protest, "because that would have given all the other guys more information that they probably want to know about me!"
"And anyway," I continue, "although I knew that 'Are you coming into the sauna' meant 'shall we have fun in the the sauna', no one else would have known that, so saying 'No, I have a boyfriend' would have been a strange answer!"
"Don't worry," laughs boyfriend T, smiling at me now, "just kidding! You know that I'm OK if you want to do whatever, as long as you're honest with me :-)."
Whenever I talk to boyfriend T about this, I always think I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful and understanding boyfriend :-). Perhaps that's why I don't feel the need to have fun with lots of other guys any more!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
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13 comments:
Like I said earlier....cute! ;)
If you don't mind me asking, how long have you two been dating?
Does this answer your question, PF?
GB xxx
Never mind, GB, with a bit of luck and the passing of time you'll probably get over it and resume your old ways.
He must be quite the guy if he's managed to settle you down :p
So if you had sex with another guy... and then u are 'honest' to bf T about it.. he wouldnt mind?
Wow GB, I never thought I'd hear you say you don't need to sleep with other guys anymore! Im really happy for you. You've probably mentioned this somewhere before but does T sleep with guys that aren't you? And how does ex-boyfriend S feel about your sexual commitment to T, considering that with S you still insisted on sleeping with other guys? If this is too personal then please tell me to mind my own business :)
Hi, I am Akira from Tokyo, Japan. I am gay, I am filthy, dirty and very perverted. Yet I am struggling to find an English gay term which describes ejaculation without direct stimulus to the penis caused by anal penetration.
I have been asking many, many, gay people in English speaking countries and I am still asking.
We have a word specifically for this in Japanese – Tokoroten.
Either I have been asking wrong people or the word does not exist. I have bumped into your blog and I thought that you might know the word.
Oddly enough, you are the first English gay person I have asked.
If you or any of your readers know, please leave a comment. I will come back in a few days.
I don't think there is a word for that, Akira. So I think the English word should be: Tokoroten! Much the same as Bukkake, there's no English word for that, so we took yours :-).
GB xxx
Hi GB, I am so pleased to win some attention from you. I posted the same question at other blogs and I was totally ignored.
Since you are in finance, you must have been to a good school and one of the two ancient universities. Therefore I think I can rely on your assertion that there is no word for it. I should stop looking for it, at least for English.
I heard that Portuguese might have a word for it, but as I lost contact with the Portuguese American I used to have fuck session with, and I have not been able to find any Portuguese in Japan, I have no means to pursue that course. If you ever bump into a Portuguese in London, please do ask him.
Now, in Japan, Tokoroten is considered to be a time honoured tradition, only amongst gay men, of course, and many bottoms aspire to develop their anal passages to master the art.
I know you are laughing your head off, but it is true.
Glad to be of assistance, Akira :-).
Incidently, I happen to know that tokoroken was achieved by a regular commenter to this blog, when he was a bottoming for a friend of his many years ago. Apparently, both guys were surprised!
GB xxx
Should I write to the editor of OED so that tokoroten can be considered for inclusion? I think the first Japanese word to be added in the OED was Tsunami and the second one was Kimono. I think Bukkake was added in 2007 but I could be wrong on this.
Another Japanese for Bukkake is Gansha. This word is pronounced in a manner similar to the way "gratitude" is pronounced. This word formation was undertaken totally independently of any consideration for other words or intention to form a pun but it caused some laughter and embarrassment in parties and meetings.
The criterion for inclusion in the OED, Akira, is evidence that it's a word that gets used when people speak or write English. To encourage usage, a Wikipedia page might be useful, after all, bukkake has such a page! Then references to tokoroten, even in Japanese, would help ensure that the tokoroten page on wikipedia is not deleted.
GB xxx
That makes sense, though I don't see tsunami used very often.
The Japanese are sometimes taken as a bunch of serious people with no humour, but Japan was not constrained by Christian virtues untill ~1900.
Sex with women and men were considered to be something one should enjoy, and as long as the parties involved were happy with the arrangement, no one else said anything.
This attitudes can still be found even today amongst the landed gentries and families who once had titles. Discretion is still practiced and respected in some circles.
The entertainment industry in Japan continues to be innovative and different techniques or new words may emerge in future. Who knows.
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