Wednesday, July 08, 2009

A trip to watch London gay pride

"Did you know that it's London gay pride day next Saturday?" asks my friend T, when we were cuddling in bed one morning about ten days ago.

"Oh really?" I reply, "Actually I didn't know. Shall we go and march in the parade then?"

"... NO WAY!" replies T, almost speechless that the idea of joining the parade even occurred to me.

"Well how about we just go and watch it then?" I offer, snuggling into his naked body from behind.

"Yes, actually I'd like to see it :-). I've never seen a gay pride parade before!"

"OK great," I reply, holding him tightly, "so we'll watch it this year, and then we can march in the parade next year!"

"In your dreams!"

I don't pursue the subject, and on the day of the parade, we go shopping in the morning before taking up a good position to watch the parade along Oxford Street. It takes the parade just over an hour to pass, during which time T takes lots of photographs.

"So what did you think?" I ask him afterwards.

"It was good," he says thoughtfully, "although I expected more outrageous costumes!"

"We'd probably have to go to the gay Mardi Gras in Sydney if you want to see totally outrageous!"

In the evening we have a party to go to, and as usual when I take a new friend to meet some of my friends, everyone wonders whether T is my new boyfriend. The same thing had happened a couple of weeks earlier when I'd taken my friend who sometimes gets hayfever to meet some other friends. On that occasion, when someone had mistaken us for boyfriends, my friend who sometimes gets hayfever had been quite uncomfortable with the idea. Later on the same night I also heard him say that he prefers being single. But at the party after the pride march, T didn't seem to mind being mistaken for my boyfriend, although of course he had to tell people that we weren't together.

So lying in bed with T the following morning there's just one thing on my mind. Should I ask him to be my boyfriend? And if so, what exactly should I say? And when, but perhaps it would be better to leave it a week or two, and if he does want to be my boyfriend then when should we discuss what we want from the relationship, and does he want to live with me, and what about monogamy, and what about if he ends up having to go back to his home country, and what if I’m always the boyfriend who doesn't exist because he's so closeted, and, and ...

A couple of hours later, we're having breakfast with each other and I simply can't bear it any more.

"Um, T," I start, in a matter of fact voice as though I'm about to ask him to pass the orange juice, "would you like to be my boyfriend?"

Initially he's completely startled and looks away, unable to believe that I've asked him that question out of the blue. But then he looks at me and I smile, and when a big smile comes over his face I know that I'm going to get the answer that I'm looking for.

"Yes," replies boyfriend T, "we should try :-)."

Because he has to go, we don't have much time to discuss anything, but it doesn't matter. I feel so happy :-)))). We'll be able to talk about everything over the coming weeks.

Despite all my concerns and all the angst in my recent posts [1, 2] about "Should I?" or "Shouldn't I?", in the end I was powerless to take any other course of action. I love the guy, so rational thought is impossible! It's all very well being rational when I'm answering the "Dear GB" emails that people send me, but I guess that that's only possible because I'm disconnected from their lives.

"Don't forget," I tell him as he's leaving, "you'll be able to march in the pride parade next year holding your boyfriend's hand :-). That would be OK wouldn't it?"

"Maybe," he says, giving me a kiss, "let's see!"

Sounds like there's been a bit of progress already :-).


Volodya said...

That's really sweet! Congratulations! He sounds like a nice guy so it'd good you decided to give it a try.

We your avid readers will follow the progress with all due excitement ;-)

Mike said...

Congratulations on your new boyfriend! I went to my first Pride on SAturday too with my new bf. It was really speical and I think you made him very happy too :-)

Anonymous said...

When first I came out I didn't have a clue about bars/clubs and only the vaguest notion of what Pride was.

I think it's important for *us* who know what's going on to expose friends/family to the world as it is, showing them where to go etc.

I marched in the first Pride I attended and it was a very liberating experience. The cameraderie was great and it was also great to see the streets lined with both gay and straight people, kids waving flags etc.

Too many people believe that somehow being gay makes you a less valid person. Not so. If someone has a problem with who you are then that's their problem, not yours.

Since my first Pride we've come such a long way in terms of rights and privileges that I'm not entirely certain what the hot-button causes are these days.

urbicande said...

Congrats! That's very sweet for asking, and it's great to see you happy!

Anonymous said...

I guess the obvious question is whether 'boyfriends' means the same to you as it does to T.

I feel a discussion coming on :-)

Oh, the early days are so much fun... and so traumatic!

Hedonist said...

Oh wow, congratulations! All the best for you too! :)

Will be interesting to know what different views of "boydfriend" you two have...

Bruno said...

Did you hear about Gay Men's Boot Camp??? I love that program...Can't do without it any more. Thanks GMBC

Shawn L said...

All I can say is - Congratulations!
Can't wait to hear new story next week =)

Anonymous said...

fantastic news gb. I am really pleased for you and hope all goes well

criswithoutanh said...

nice story!

Sir Wobin said...

Very happy for you GB. We're waiting with baited breathe to see how your blog changes from something salacious to perhaps a more refined romantic read.

I believe this must be the longest kiss and tell story around. :-)

GaySocrates said...

That's such great news.
Did you decide on a position with regard to your blogging anonymity - will you be coming out of your blogging closet to him.? If he's very closeted he might be paranoid about you writing about him
My bloke isn't out to his folks for his own reasons. i thought when I met him 12 years ago that he'd be out to them by now. But because I love him it's no longer such a big deal for me. Wouldn't dream of pressurizing him to be more out than he would be comfortable with now.
Looking forward to following what happens next you big soft romantic thing!

K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
close encounters said...

Excellent new, congratulations !

Such a sweet story - you sounded so excited !!

Godfrey said...

such a cute story gb! :) i don't think i'd be able to stop smiling for quite a bit. congrats to both you and T. :D

Anonymous said...

Awww, that's so bloody sweet!
Hope all your concerns are buried hereafter...

Well, one can be a bit optimistic!

Humming Bird in Hyde said...

Congratulations indeed GB. Look forward to seeing lots more of you both.

I think if you slip in the questions casually along the way like you've done, it all gets answered.

Needless to say I'm thrilled :-)

Wilderness Wanderer said...

Aww, this news exactly what all your fans want to hear! I'm grinning quite madly right now. I do believe many of us will be almost as happy as you are.

I'll be fascinated to know how the blog will change as a result of this. Will it just be a sedate series of blissful ruminations on love, quite free of spontaneous naughtyness? Or, (gasp!), Will it remain a blog at all?

Please do stick around, GB!

Anonymous said...

Ironic, GB, that it was after Pride that you asked T to be your secret, closeted bf. Ironic that you would say he is so closeted, when you, in fact, are closeted to so many people in your life.

Antony said...




Phunk Factor said...

Wow!! Wow!! Wow!! Now I gotta search fr the March Gay Pride post!!'s awesome to see u two getting along so well!! Simply awesome!!