Monday, September 05, 2005

On holiday with boyfriend number 1 and my sister’s family

“Who’s P?” asks my twelve year old nephew while we’re playing a game on my laptop.

“He’s a friend of mine”, I say truthfully.

My nephew has seen P’s name on the high score table. Earlier this year, while on holiday with P (also known as boyfriend number 2), we had played the game together, so naturally both our names were in the high score table. Perhaps my nephew had noticed that boyfriend number 1’s name was not in the high score table? Boyfriend number 1 is sitting next to me but he pretends not to hear this conversation.

The hardest thing for me at the moment is living with boyfriend number 1 and not being able to mention boyfriend number 2 at all. Although boyfriend number 1 knows that I went on holiday with boyfriend number 2 (A conversation with boyfriend number 1), he completely refuses to let me talk about him. Maybe boyfriend number 1 thinks that by denying the existence of boyfriend number 2 he’ll simply evaporate away? If he did hear my nephew's question at least he now knows boyfriend number 2's name!

Recently I did a favour for boyfriend number 2. And last Tuesday while on this holiday with my sister and her family he calls me up to thank me. Although we’ve had online conversations over the past couple of months, this is the first time I’ve actually spoken to him since we parted company in Cambodia. It’s lovely to hear his voice. When boyfriend number 1 asks me who was on the phone I feel I can’t tell him the truth so I tell him it’s a call from work.

What does my nephew really think? Although I suspect that he understands that me and boyfriend number 1 are gay, it’s never been brought into the open because my sister's husband is reluctant to talk the truth about this matter. So what my nephew would think if he knew the truth about my gay lifestyle is anyone’s guess.

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