I've never said much about the "basis" for the postings in this blog. Do I make it all up? Or is every word 100% true? Thanks to www.statcounter.com and all the e-mails I get I know that I do have quite a few readers these days so perhaps a statement about this is overdue.
I basically follow the same guidelines as Belle de Jour. Although I was never completely convinced she was real, I am real, and for what it's worth I follow her guidelines. To quote her small print:
Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of myself and others. I try to recreate dialogue and action as accurately as possible, but no one's memory is perfect. The cutting of some slack is appreciated.
So I do work for an investment bank in London and every very posting is fundamentally true. I'm certain that if boyfriend number 1, boyfriend number 2, or boyfriend number 3 found this blog they would all recognise themselves immediately. In fact I always write the blog on the basis that eventually everyone I know may end up finding it, so everything has to be reasonably accurate because I don't want anyone to say I mis-represented them. In any case, one day when we're all old and grey I may even tell everyone about it!
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
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9 comments:
I have 2.5 stalkers, two of whom I know would not find my blog. One has the potential and used it - he found it and was rather peeved at my referring to him as Stalker A. It still hasn't put him off! However, it does mean that I've toned down the things I've said subsequently and it's censored much of what I'd actually like to say about him
hmm. I find myself loving and hating you, all at the same moment! This must be a small taste of how bf#1 feels...
I'm 6 yrs into a monogamous relationship, one in which I'd identify myself as more like you, my BF more like #1. The difference is, I've yet to cross the boundary by luck or circumstance.
One of my main concerns, which keeps me grounded is: what if, for some unforseeable reason, I could pass on an STD or worse to my BF and how would that make me feel? It's that feeling that keeps my fidelity to him -- not love: I couldn't be responsible for causing potentially terminable disease to an unknown/unwilling partner who put their trust in me. Even if the risk is so very very small, the risk and thus, the moral decision still remains.
Bluntly, why don't you have this same problem?
Joe my God has just written about monogamy and infidelity....it's a good read:
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/
Interesting comment reluctant nomad, it looks as though you call the guys you see regularly stalkers whereas I call them boyfriends!
Ever heard of safe sex jjd? One thing though, if I was in your situation now, I'd definitely discuss my desire for sexual adventure my boyfriend. Being where I am today is a far from ideal.
Um, not quite true. True, I do have regular sex with 'stalker' 0.5, that's why he's only half a one! It's unfair labelling him a stalker but he seems to have the potential of getting too close when I don't want it - that's got nothing to do with stalking.
I had a fling with stalker A months ago but he won't move on. There is absolutely NO way that I'd have sex with him again simply because of the complications.
Stalker D is an ex who has, in the last month or so, moved on but, for a while, obsessed horribly. In his case, I had continued to have sex with him on occasion so I was partly to blame even though I'd laid the cards straight as far as the situation was concerned.
hm.. my point fine sir, is that safe sex is a misnomer right? condoms can break, miniscule holes can go undetected, basically, you can't be 100% assured unless all you are doing are a bunch of handjobs.
My situation is long away from being at the point that we can discuss that btw, that would have been year 1 or 2.
reluctant nomad, when I read in your blog about stalker A and D I assumed there had to be a B and C too, my mistake! Anyway perhaps if I tried to keep my ‘boyfriends’ more at arms length like you do, perhaps I would have the problems I face today.
jjd, I was definitely in the same situation as you, after 5 years with boyfriend number 1 I thought I way beyond the point where I thought I could negotiate an open relationship. But how much better it would have been to have discussed it then compared to now when I’m 16 years down the line with him. I thought I could keep it a secret forever (and it was secret for 11 years), but after going on holiday with boyfriend number 2 I felt things had reached a point when it couldn’t be secret any more.
i used to have this other blog, i used fake names my ex-boyfriend who i refered to as the Ex found it and so did al his friends, i tried to tell him that the prmiscuous tales were fake, he didnt go for that, so now i dont blog about that and i dont really even use names.
Ah, I understand your confusion - those are their initials as you probably now know.
Stalker A joined me last night when 0.5 stalker, also initial D jut to confuse things, arrived. The don't like each other - I wonder why? :-)
Both were drunk and a scuffle almost developed with me having to separate them. All a bit common, I'd say.
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