Fatherhood

When I got home from my long weekend in the English countryside recently, boyfriend number 1 had some news for me about his family.

"You know my nephew who works for a bank in the city?" starts boyfriend number 1.

"Yes of course."

"Well he's only gone and got a woman pregnant". Boyfriend number 1 seems quite angry. “We think the girl took advantage of him.”

“In what way?” I ask. I’m confused! Isn’t it normally the guy who takes advantage of the girl?

“Well it turns out that she’s already got two other babies, fathered by two different men!”

“So she wanted to get pregnant just to get maintenance payments out of him?” I reply, astounded. I guess I live in quite a cosy world because I had no idea that such women existed!

“Yes exactly”, says boyfriend number 1. “My barber told me recently about a couple of cases he’s heard about, but I never thought that it would happen in my family. The mother lives in social housing of course!”

I guess that makes sense. That kind of woman probably originally wanted the first child so as to get priority status for cheap rented housing from her local council.

“My nephew's mother demanded a DNA test of course”, continues boyfriend number 1, “but it came back affirmative so I guess he’s stuck with it.”

The irony of the situation is that while boyfriend number 1’s nephew has a child he doesn’t want, I’d actually love to know that somewhere in the world there’s a child who could call me father. So if there are any women in the world that need a father for their child then I'm an ideal candidate. I can’t believe that it’s that easy to find a guy like me who’s successful, intelligent (with two degrees from one of the very best universities in the UK), and from a family with an excellent genetic profile too!