Friday, August 03, 2007

A humbling visit to boyfriend number 3

"I tried looking for that web site that you're designing," I tell boyfriend number 3 on a recent visit, "and I couldn't find it."

"Uh huh," says boyfriend number 3, looking down at me slightly bemused.

I'm sitting sideways on his sofa, wearing nothing except my undershorts, with my legs propped up apart in front of me.

"What was the web site address I told you?" he asks me with a quizzical grin on his face.

I tell him the address and he smiles, shaking his head at me.

"What? Is that the wrong address then?" I ask, looking confused.

"You're mad, you know that don't you!"

"Why?"

He lifts a large mirror off a shelf and turns it to face me, and looks me in the eye with an 'I told you so' smile on his face. A bit worn-out underneath maybe, but clean, and perhaps still wearable for another year or so? Glancing into the mirror I realise that my undershorts are a bit threadbare underneath, with holes showing through. Closing my legs to try and hide the holes, I grin at him like a little child that's been caught out, hoping for a bit of sympathy.

"Completely mad!" he says laughing now. "You know that I'm doing this web site for the guy that I'm seeing, and that I'm completely paranoid about him finding out about you, but you sit there in comically worn-out underwear and ask me why the web site address that I gave you doesn't work!"

I try to think of a response, but soon I'm laughing too.

"Shhhhh, I don't want the neighbours to know that I've got a man in my apartment!" he says coming over and putting his hand over my mouth. For a few seconds I giggle uncontrollably through his hand.

"I don't know," he says looking at my face closely now, "what on earth am I going to do with you?"

Then, seemingly from nowhere, he picks up some tweezers and before I can defend myself he's plucked out a couple of small hairs out that had been growing harmlessly in between my eye-brows.

"Owwww," I complain, "that hurts!"

"There, that's better :-)," he says with a satisfied tone in his voice, before giving me a quick kiss. "It's all a façade isn't it," he continues, grinning at me, "you pretend to come round here wanting to ravage my body when all you're really after is my grooming skills!"

"Thanks," I say, rubbing the sore area where the offending hairs used to be, but none the less feeling grateful for the attention.

"Well, if boyfriend number 1 and boyfriend number 2 aren't going to look after you properly, I guess it comes down to me!"

15 comments:

Military Wonder said...

YAY im the first to comment. I was just readin ur blog when i hit refresh and Bam this pops up. I love ur blog U do such a good job and i think i can really feel ur personality through ur writing keep up the great work!!

Anonymous said...

You know what, ever since i have read this whole blog i just want to see who has writen it all! its such a shame!

cuteCTguy said...

First the lack of showers... now torn undershorts.. GB what is that men find attractive in you?? :-)

Anonymous said...

The only reason I can think of that can cause tearing in that part of your pants is vigourous scratching due to an itchy arsehole due to inadequate showers and poor toilet hygiene! See...it all fits! Do you still feel like meeting him anonymous poster of comment 2? LOL :)

Trevor said...

I think you could start a new trend - patches on underwear - and then perhaps some with purpose made holes... a whole new designer sensation... Banking move on over, fashion design could be your new thing! GB Jocks!

GB said...

Thanks for the kind words Military Wonder.

Some people know what I look like anonymous poster of comment 2, but as I said in March, it's a question of trust. I certainly only feel comfortable writing some of this stuff because this is an anonymous blog, and perhaps that's the stuff that you enjoy reading!

Are you trying to tell me cuteCTguy that you only care that your men are clean and wearing untorn undershorts? I reckon there are loads of important attributes to look for in a guy :-)!

LOL anonymous poster of comment 4 and Trevor. I can't explain why those undershorts wore out there, but it must have been faulty fabric somehow because I honestly don't have an itchy arse! The thing about me and showers is that they tend to revolve around my gym routine, and if I get an injury or something and go to the gym less, I sometimes forget to take additional showers to compensate. But I don't deny I musgt try harder in those circumstances! Anyway, I'm happy to confirm that at the moment I'm visiting the gym quite a lot so I am getting my fair share of showers at the moment :-).

GB xxx

Paul said...

Oh my God!
Just think of the shame if were knocked down by a bus and you found to be wearing worn underpants. Did your mother never warn you of this?

Anonymous said...

this a such a funny post! CuteCtGuy is very right! What is it men find attractive about you?

indian said...

Cutectguy.....why are you not replying to me, have you not checked your mail? Or have you died on me?

Anonymous said...

So have you met people off your blog before then GB?

GB said...

I've said it before but I think it's MUCH better to leave attributable comments, which these days means using a google account. Anyone can get a google account and it doesn't cost anything, so as a little favour to me, can all the anonymous commentators and guys without google accounts PLEASE start using a google account to leave comments? I think some of the anonymous comments on this post have been left by the same person, but it's very unclear.

Anyway 'Paul', I guess my mother warned me about clean underwear LOL. Given previous remarks about showers and hygiene perhaps people are getting a bit confused here, rest assured everyone that my underwear is clean!

What do men find attractive in me? I'm far too modest to try and answer that question, but one of my positive attributes might be that I don't take myself too seriously. If I did, I'd never have posted this story or the last one about my nightmare!

One thing that might help indian would be to write a blog. I think that these days cuteCTguy's policy on access to his blog depends on whether the other guy is a reliable blogger or not. Actually I have a similar policy in terms of meeting people, and indeed 'Anonymous', I have met a very small number of other bloggers face to face. If you've read my blog in detail you'll know which ones they are!

GB xxx

Anonymous said...

well, at least there are no "skid marks" on the shorts!

gayboydiary said...

I'm glad your pants are at least clean! Have you considered selling them on ebay? ;-P btw, if you need advice on buying new underwear, you know who to ask! (hint: me!).

GBD xxx

cuteCTguy said...

GB Thanks.. I only give access to known bloggers with a reasonable history...

Trevor said...

cutectguy, as someone who has never seen your blog, but who does blog; apart from curiousity, what would drive one to the effort of applying to get to see it?