What on earth am I going to do about boyfriend number 3!

"You've got a very complicated life, you know," I tell boyfriend number 3 when I saw him recently.

"How so?" he asks. I feel sure he must know what I mean, but nonetheless I'm happy to be more specific.

"Well, none of your family know you're gay right, and ..."

"My brother may sort of know," interrupts boyfriend number 3, "I'm pretty sure he's got his suspicions!"

"Well whatever," I continue, "none of them know for sure, so none of them know anything about that guy you're seeing!"

"But they do know I've got a friend called Simon, and Simon's actually an ex-boyfriend of mine."

"Oh really," I say sounding surprised, "you've mentioned Simon before, he's got another boyfriend now hasn't he?"

"Yeah, Patrick, or Pat for short," says boyfriend number 3.

"So your family know about Simon and Pat do they?"

"Yep, they do actually," says boyfriend number 3 with a big grin on his face, "Simon and Patricia!" and he bursts into giggles.

"Well exactly," I reply laughing too to some extent, "even more complications. And although Simon and Pat know about your guy, they don't know about me, in fact none of them know about me! You keep your gaydar account secret from your guy, you don't even keep my mobile phone number in your mobile phone in case someone finds it there, and what's more, you go to extreme lengths to perpetuate this state of affairs, ..."

Boyfriend number 3 is still giggling slightly, and seems to be enjoying my exasperation.

"So who's up the 'food chain' from me, who is there that even I don't know about?"

"Ahhh, so that's what this is about," laughs boyfriend number 3, "you're just worried about your own status!"

"Errr," I hesitate, caught off guard, "Well no, I mean, I'm just worried for you, it all seems so unnecessary!"

"Well don't worry about me or your status GB," says boyfriend number 3 looking me in the eyes and smiling at me, "if you remember, I do tell you about other guys that I sometimes meet from gaydar. Anyway, the guy who buys me gaydar memberships and nice birthday presents is in a very special class of his own :-)."