Valentine's Day 2008

"So where are you taking boyfriend S for Valentine's Day?" asks boyfriend P while I was talking to him on the phone early last week.

"Nowhere!" I answer, feeling a bit unhappy, "I'm just ignoring it all this year :-(. It just doesn't seem appropriate given that I'm buying him a house so that he can live separately from me."

"Well Happy Valentine's Day from me :-)," replies boyfriend P, sounding distinctly happier than he did when he was asking me the question about boyfriend S.

"Awww, thanks P, " I say, "and a very Happy Valentine's Day to you too :-)."

A couple of days later, on Valentine's Day itself, I wake up next to boyfriend S as usual, and while we're lying there together he hands me a card.

"Happy Valentine's Day GB :-)," he says smiling, still sounding a bit sleepy.

"Awww, thanks S," I say sounding a bit taken aback. It's a simple but nice card. What on earth can I say? I move over to cuddle him but he's got a question for me.

"Where's mine?" he asks.

"Errrr, do we usually exchange Valentine's day cards?" I ask, fishing for an excuse. He nods.

"Well ... sorry ... I forgot." It sounds very weak.

"Oh don't worry about it, " he replies, clearly a bit upset. Although he lets me cuddle him a bit before we get up, I can tell that he's not happy with me :-(.

On my way to work, I start thinking about all the guys that I sent Valentine's Day wishes to last year. Apart from boyfriend S and boyfriend P, there's also boyfriend R of course. However, boyfriend R let me down badly a couple of months ago, and I'm still waiting for an apology. At this point it seems likely that I'll never see him again, so sending boyfriend R a Valentine's Day txt msg seems highly inappropriate this year :-(.

However I do still see my gorgeous Japanese masseur :-). Although I haven't seen him since last November, that's only because he's back in Japan for a few months, so I decide to send him a txt msg to wish him a happy Valentine's Day. But it's been a long time since I saw either of the other two guys that got txt msgs from me last year, so instead of sending them Valentine's Day wishes I send a txt msg to the cute Mexican guy that I've been seeing recently. I also send another txt msg to a nice Chinese guy that I met a few weeks ago.

The guy L that I met last summer would have been on my list, except that he decided to stop seeing me. Last October, I was using txt msgs to try and to set up another meeting with him, and towards the end of the conversation I'd said

OK L, hope to see you next Monday, but to be confirmed nearer the time obviously :-). GB xxx

However, I then received the following reply

Will c 'cause 2 b honest wit u I don't like 2 f...k around wit somebody else boyfriend. :-(

And he only knew about boyfriend S. If he'd also known about boyfriend P and boyfriend R who knows what his reaction would have been! None the less, we parted on good terms, and if I ever spot him online again I'll definitely contact him to see how he's getting on.

During the course of Valentines Day, I get nice replies from all the guys that I'd sent txt msgs to except that there's no response from my Gorgeous Japanese Masseur. But it doesn't matter, no doubt he's not using his UK mobile phone at the moment, so hopefully my txt msg will be a nice surprise for him the next time he turns it on :-).

Before going home, I decide to make an effort for boyfriend S, because in spite of what's happening between us at the moment I don't want him to think that I don't love him. Last year I'd bought him some red roses on my way home from work, and had got myself into trouble because the roses had come from Kenya. Boyfriend S is very keen on saving the environment, so I got told off because of the environmental damage that must be caused by the aircraft transport of agricultural goods which could instead be produced locally with negligible environmental impact! So at the flower stall this year, I insist on locally grown roses. It turns out that they don't have any from England, but they've got some nice bouquets of Dutch roses so I settle for those, even though they're more expensive than the Kenyan ones.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I say to boyfriend S, handing him the roses together with a Valentine's Day card as I arrive back home.

"Wow, they're nice GB, thank you :-)," and I get a peck on the cheek from him.

"And they're NOT from Kenya," I say triumphantly, "you may recall that you told me off last year, so this year they're from Holland instead :-)."

"Actually GB, you're still in trouble!" replies boyfriend S grinning, "although they have to fly the Kenyan roses over here, at least they've got the climate to grow them over there at this time of year. They'll have wasted huge amounts of electricity in Holland to get those roses ready for mid-February!"

In spite of his unexpected objection, I seem to be forgiven for not having had a card for him in the morning :-). Valentine's Day is all very well when one's dating a guy or if one's at the start of a relationship, but at what might be the end of one it's a terrible minefield!