New houses

"You know what my barber says GB?" shouts boyfriend S from the upstairs bathroom of his new house, while I'm downstairs.

"No what?"

"When he moves into a new house, there are two things he changes immediately!"

"Uh huh, and what are they?" I ask, only mildly interested, "let me guess, the front and back door locks!"

"Close," says boyfriend S, coming downstairs now, "but in fact he changes the locks and the toilet seats!"

I chuckle to myself at the idea that someone feels they need to change their toilet seat, presumably just because it's main purpose has been for other people's arses to sit on!

"But what does he do when he visits a friend's house and needs to use the toilet there?" I ask.

"Oh don't ask me," replies boyfriend S chuckling too, "perhaps he doesn’t use any toilets when he visits friends, perhaps the horrible thought of having to sit on someone else's toilet seat keeps his rear sphincter tightly shut!"

In the past, I've heard people worry about who might have died in their new house, but worrying about toilet seats like that is surely taking hygiene worries to a ridiculous extreme!