Saturday, October 04, 2008

The gay bachelor lifestyle

Although I'm not single, since ex-boyfriend S moved out I've been living alone so it's very much a gay bachelor lifestyle. In many ways I miss having him around, but in other ways I'm glad that we've separated like this. It's only a brisk ten minute walk to his house, so we've been seeing each other about twice a week which is nice. I'm still convinced that this split was the right thing to do, so I'm now looking forward to our future friendship, rather than back at the reasons for the split.

Having to do all the household chores myself comes as a bit of a shock though! I've finally found a new cleaner who did her first day yesterday, and I can already tell that she's going to be brilliant :-). Although myself and ex-boyfriend S employed a cleaner for many years, she was finding it harder and harder to climb the stairs in the house and do a good job at everything, so with ex-boyfriend S moving out it seemed like the right time to let her retire. With more to do around the house, together with all the other things in my life, unfortunately I've had less time for blogging.

As I've said before though, I do find it hard to sleep at night without a nice guy to cuddle up to. Although I haven't found any time to blog about it, I've gradually been getting closer to M who I met a couple of months ago, but as yet we haven't slept with each other overnight. He knows about both boyfriend P and ex-boyfriend S so it could be that he's a bit cautious about getting close to someone like me with all these relationships in his background. Another complication is that although we met online, by some bizarre coincidence it turns out that we both work for the same bank in FSA regulated roles, so if we do get closer we may have an obligation to be open about our association with our employer!

However, I reckon the biggest problem with living alone is web sites like gaydar! Without anyone living with me to keep me under control, I find that I waste too much time cruising online. "Hmmm, I wonder if there's a nice guy nearby for a quickie?" I'll think as I'm climbing the stairs for bed. When I lived with ex-boyfriend S I'd spend time blogging about it instead, which is a much more productive occupation :-). Luckily my work hasn't suffered yet. However, my overall conclusion is that I do need to find a new live-in boyfriend to keep my natural urges in check!


The Honourable Husband said...


You're sounding a bit codependent, there. If you need someone else to cuddle for a good night's sleep, and can't moderate your online cruising without another's influence, then you might be more in love with the idea of a relationship than with an individual.

Just sayin'


Charlie said...

GB, it's not just you that's been quiet blogging mate, where's HBH disappeared to?

the difference between meeting out on the town with a guy and the intimate nights in cuddling in our sleep under the duvet are total extremes that only guys that have got used to understand. I share your belief that the though ex-S, P or, whoever, has already gone and warmed up the bed just relaxes the soul. Yikes, we're sounding soppy like Monty's McBrad posts :)

Have fun.

Ken Skinner said...

You've actually indirectly underlined one of the fears (perceived or real) that most people who cling to monogamy (myself included to *some* degree) have about accepting that their partner may be out sh*gging other people.

When you met M, both of you had significant others (singular/plural) so it was just a bit of convenient extra-curricular fun. However, you've now said that you're getting to know each other and that it could lead to a relationship.

And therein lies the fear of many people, that there may be someone 'better' than you out there and if your partner is actively meeting other folks, albeit nominally 'just for sex', then what happens if they decide they *really* like them. It's the staple plotline for mid-life crises :-)

I think it ultimately comes down to 'faith' (no, not the religious kind!) in your partner, which may or may not be justified... so maybe it's having faith in your own faith that keeps one secure.

Still, it's too early on a Monday morning to be deep (otherwise I'd have shot for a third 'faith')

GB said...

Maybe HB8, but of course I love the way that Charlie puts it, the idea that sharing your bed with a nice guy just "relaxes the soul". I think that’s an excellent way of saying it! [HBH is still around, but I know he's got a lot going on in his life so it's not surprising that he's not posting much at the moment.]

Good point Kenski, but in this case neither me or M are being unfaithful. Although I didn't blog about my second hook-up with M, at that point he'd already split up with his boyfriend, and I don't have a commitment to be faithful to anyone at the moment.

GB xxx

Anonymous said...

hello gb does your cleaner gets a pension from you?

Charlie said...

Lol Anon. GB would be too busy plying them with vintage claret to find the time reward his duster and pinny with a pension :)

Monty said...

Would a B/F actually "keep your natural urges in check"??? From what I know of you GB, your natural urges require more than one B/F (whether live-in or not)??? ;-)

Anthony Blake said...

I found my bf online :D but not on the normal sites like Gaydar, we met on
they offer free gay chat and I'm still a member cos its a great way to chat with like minded guys unlike other sites where people judge you str8 away.