Thursday, November 27, 2008

Catching up with my colleague P

A bottle of CristalIt had been quite a long time since I'd been out after work in the evening to catch up with my colleague P, so last week we decided to go together to the drinks event for gay guys who work for banks in London. It turned out that P's boyfriend D was also free that evening, so even though he doesn't work for a bank we take him along too.

"Let me get a decent bottle of red Burgundy for us to drink," I say once we've found a table to occupy at the drinks venue, "I know that if I lose my job I probably won't be able to afford it any more, but until that happens I'd rather drink good wine if possible :-)."

"Thanks GB," says P, "but please don't be too extravagant!"

Ignoring P, I ask one of the waiters to bring us a reasonable looking 1999 Volnay premier cru from a top négociant, before settling down to chat to him and D.

"So have you guys been up to much recently?" I ask.

"Well a few weeks ago," starts P, smiling at me, "we saw my friend XXXX that you met a couple of years ago :-)."

Glancing at D, I realise that suddenly he looks distinctly unhappy, which wipes the smile off P's face as soon as he notices.

"Yes, … , well," continues P, acknowledging the situation, "D and XXXX seem to have fallen out :-(."

I can see that it's a difficult subject for them, so I start talking about something else. But later in the evening, when P is talking to another gay colleague, I manage to ask D what the problem is.

Fireworks"Well GB," begins D quietly, so as not to attract P's attention, "when we visited XXXX, he asked me what I'd been up to recently, while P was out buying the Sunday papers. So I told him that I'd had a little fling with this older guy, it wasn't anything serious, the older guy was a married man who'd only recently realised that he was gay and he needed a bit of support. Actually I haven't seen him for ages now. Anyway the following week, XXXX called P and they went out for a drink together, and XXXX told P all about this other guy :-(!"

"But why on earth did you tell XXXX in the first place?" I ask, feeling that D only has himself to blame.

"Anyway, P then confronts me," continues D, ignoring my question.

"But he knows that you sometimes play around a bit doesn't he?"

"Yes I suppose so, but he doesn’t like it much. But he was livid that I'd told XXXX about it!"

"So why did you tell him?" I ask again, hopeful of getting an answer this time.

"Well, I'd had a little *fun* with XXXX too, ages and ages ago now," answers D sheepishly, clearly regretting the incident, "so I guess I thought I could talk to him about these things. Actually I said to P 'I bet XXXX never told you about the time we he had sex with me'! So I never want to see XXXX again, now I know that he breaks confidences like that :-(."

At this revelation, I only just manage to suppress my desire to burst out laughing, because it's sounds exactly like an excerpt from a farce! None the less, it's an unfortunate incident, and is clearly a point of contention between the two of them. But perhaps P just needs to relax a bit? D always seems very committed to P, so it would be a pity if some irrelevant sex gets in the way of their relationship.


Anonymous said...

Dear GB,
can there ever be irrelevent sex? If D is that committed to P then why does he feel the need to have sex with another? especially an older married man, and then to justify it by saying he was helping out the married guy. Think how P feels that he cannot satisfy D's needs that he has to go with another...... and then to find out from a third party.
If i found out my partner went with someone else especially a married guy I think that would almost be the end of the relationship...but this leaves me in two minds as if I had done it would i feel guilty enough to tell....It's an interesting post which there are many ways to address as everyone has different goal posts when it comes to sex and relationships.
I wonder what your other on line friends they also feel it's good to play around and decieve their partners??

Anonymous said...

Never in your life have sex with a married man, unless he's drop dead gorgeous... I personally absolutely hate married or selfproclaimed bisexual guys who are trying to chat you up and get a cheap fling. These bastards have their wives or their ex and children to look after them in later life. We do not have these options and rely on ourselves most of the time. So dont waste your time with those hypocrits who will be never there for you if you will need support and affection.

Let them pay for their horniness! There are plenty of hustlers around these days. They are ideal for married or bi. Any gay guy who is proud and has character and not just a cheap slut does not get involved with married or bi!!!

Sir Wobin said...

Sounds like P&D haven't discussed their boundaries. P knows and accepts but isn't comfortable with it. Does P have fun on the side too? All the more confusing that P was smiling when introducing the topic of XXXX.

I'd not expect you to know this about colleagues but it seems you'll probably know. :-)

Will said...

The gay world can be a very small place, particularly since so many of us seem to, ah, get around.

Example--a very close friend from Boston spent Thanksgiving with us. Two weeks previously we found out that a young man who used to rent an apartment in Fritz's house and now lives north of San Francisco had been our friend's lover some years ago; he found our friend's name among my Facebook contacts.

So, I don't think it's ever wise to confide certain things to a gay friend/former lover/current fuckbuddy because it's almost certain to that sooner or later something is going to come back to bite you in your shapely, well-toned behind!

GB said...

OK first anonymous commenter, whoever you are, I've done an entire post in response to your comment about 'irrelevant sex'!

I can't say I disagree with you second anonymous commenter, whoever you are. Although the fact you give yourself an excuse by saying "unless he's drop dead gorgeous" made me laugh.

Good point LWW. Relating that to my posting today, I think P and D do have issues that they need to address if their relationship is to survive. Also, are you back from holiday yet?

Great story Will :-). In my case though, it's people finding out about this blog that I worry about most!

GB xxx