Thursday, November 19, 2009

Hot boyfriends

Recently, I met up with my friend P for a drink after work. I hadn't seen him since I went out for dinner with him and my female Mexican friend, so it was good to catch up with him. We chat about our boyfriends and our jobs, but of course it's not too long we get onto the subject of men in general.

"So why do you like Asian guys, GB?" asks P.

I hesitate slightly before answering. Talking about this with my friend P is quite a delicate subject, because although P was born and bred in the UK, ethnically he's Asian himself. It's also a delicate subject because for years P's wanted to get me into bed, but so far at least, I've never let it happen!

"Oh I don't know," I reply casually, still thinking about the question, "although one thing I like about Asian guys is that they often seem to be quite family oriented :-)."

"I see," says P in a matter of fact voice, "and that's Hot is it? Being family oriented??"

I can tell from his tone of voice that he thinks that the answer to his question is a big NO.

"Actually yes," I reply, looking him straight in the eyes, "when one's looking for a long term relationship, being family oriented is very Hot!"

Initially P looks surprised by my answer, but gradually what I've just said sinks in. Although P himself looks quite Hot in a sexual sense, he's never struck me as being particularly family oriented. It's also true that he's even more of a slut than me!

Of course, in reality the word 'hot' does mean sexually desirable rather than good boyfriend material. But I don't think that my friend P is alone in thinking that sexual desirability is the most important attribute for a boyfriend. Last month, a reader left a comment which suggested that hot Asian guys should date other hot Asian guys, and that less hot Asian guys should date other less hot Asian guys. However, I think that the world is much more complicated than that!


asian anonymous said...

Speaking as an Asian (East not South) it makes me cringe with shame how often fellow Asian men straight and gay feel the need to ask men and women of other races (usually white) if they are into Asians. It just smacks of desperation and low self-confidence, which makes the menfolk of the entire Asian race look rather needy and lame. I'm not sure what prompts such questions, perhaps the ubiquitous "No Asians please" line on personals websites has chipped away at the self-worth of their Asian members - it certainly feels like a slap in the face for me - but need we sink so low as to appeal to their sense of social and moral justice by putting them in the uncomfortable position of answering an awkwardly racially loaded question, rather than attracting them with what we have, physically or mentally, in our search for company?

Anonymous said...

who is more of a slut?? the guy who brags with boyfriends A to Z (all a scam anyway..) or an Asian guy who is naturally curious. We just can hope that not too many straight thinking folks read this blog (and then why should they anyway!)it confirms about any negative image gay people still have (righteously) in the society. Promiscuous, selfcentred, narcisstic, paranoid sluts who think with their dicks rather their goodgiven brains! Gays are detestable and have no responsabilites what so ever!

Anonymous said...

As long as GB is anonymous and does not reveal who he is, this blog remains a scam and all the entries are pure phantasies! If he really would have courage, he would lift the curtain and stand in the open light. But then the tone would have to change and all the slut stories - boyfriend A to who knows - would have to stop.

GB said...

If Asia takes over from the West as the centre of the world economy during the 21st centruy, asian anonymous, then perhaps in 50 years time we'll be seeing Asian guys putting "No Caucasians please" on their profiles!

Second and third commenter - I can't work out why you're so jealous of me? Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read my blog and to leave comments :-).

GB xxx

Shawn L said...

I don't know why this race issue has been brought up again and again by some readers...especially GB's main point of the entry is "family oriented is very Hot"

Seriously those haters just stop grumbling. Love whoever you love, I'd take any asian,black,white,indian or any other races as long as he is THE PERSON I love

Anonymous said...

I'm the first anonymous. It's not so much the 'racism', which is a whole different matter, that I was focusing on, but rather the need among Asian men to seek sexual approval of others.

Putting it in a different way, I also detest men who go "I'm (race/age/height/weight here), is that alright with you?" I find that incredibly off putting. I'm pretty open minded with regards to men and I am quite prepared to talk if they are interesting enough characters despite their own perceived shortcomings. If I'm not interested I will find a way of letting them know, either by hinting or direct rejection but trying to pre-empt me and my prejudices just reeks of insecurity. Not to mention it's an accusation of shallowness on my part, which does not bode well for the rest of the potential conversation. Just say hi and see what happens, you can't go much wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

It must be very confusing for P that you won't/haven't slept with him, GB, as it is for me. Reading this blog, one would think you shag any guy who moves towards you, and you clearly like asian men. Wouldn't mind a blog post on why you won't sleep with someone - that would be an interesting change of pace...

Anonymous said...

My experience has been that younger white gay men usually add the "No asians please" in their ads. But, as they grow older and they don't get any hot white guys, they go for the younger asian guys. The asian guys, on the other hand, who may have a low self esteem, due to being rejected by a lot of white men, feel a sense of achievement, when they are chased by a white man, even though the white man is older. In a way, this satisfies both parties in a very warped and weird way. It seems as though the asian guys satisfy GB's need to have sex with younger guys.
GB's comment that "if Asia takes over from the West as the centre of the world economy ... then perhaps in 50 years time we'll be seeing Asian guys putting "No Caucasians please" on their profiles!" reeks of racism. It implies that because whites currently have the economic power they can dictate who they want or do not want, and maybe in 50 years asians might have that power. Sad!

GB said...

Actually, most recent anonymous commenter (whoever you are), I think it's only indirectly related to economic power. Instead, I think it's directly related to the media, and the worldwide distribution of things like American films and culture which ends up affecting the way people think about themselves. If that gets reversed, so that the USA is full of Chinese and other Asian films and culture, then the racism will be the other way round ("No Caucasians please" etc). Anyway, I think you're wrong in suggesting that this is a racist point of view. Instead this is a comment about the causes of racism.

GB xxx