Monday, October 21, 2013

An update on the situation with my friend K

For the last few weeks, I've been seeing a guy called K (see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5). Things still seem to be heading in the right direction with him because he now sometimes sleeps with me overnight, although we still haven't engaged in any real activities yet. Nonetheless, it's been nice feeling his hard equipment though the undershorts that he wears in bed, and cuddling his otherwise naked male body :-). We've also booked an eleven day holiday with each other, and I'm sure that by the end of the holiday we'll know whether we're going to be boyfriends or not. With the holiday getting closer every day, I'm quite prepared to take a "no sex before marriage" approach, and regard the holiday as kind of honeymoon!

"Do you want to take a shower?" I ask K one morning recently, while we're still lying in bed after a lovely night of cuddles.

"I don't have any fresh clothes here," replies K, "so I prefer to go home and shower there. At some point I'll move a few of my things into your house, and then I'll take showers here :-)."

"You could move some things in as soon as you like?" I offer.

"But your house is still full of ex-boyfriend T's stuff," replies K, "so do you mind if we wait until it's all gone?"

When I split up with ex-boyfriend T he was was working on a project abroad, so I agreed with him that that it could wait until he got back to the UK before he moved all his stuff out of my house. And although his overseas project has now finished, he asked for a bit more time because he wanted to fly off for a week to visit some friends. The good thing is that he's promised that all his stuff will be gone by the time that I get back from the holiday with K.

"So did you see much of ex-boyfriend T on his recent visit?" asks K over breakfast.

"He was only in the country for about 18 hours!" I answer, "He had just enough time to unpack a bit, repack a bag for a trip to visit some of his friends, and then get a few hours' sleep. I didn't really want to see him, because there's nothing that I want to say to him."

"But I guess that means that you did see him a bit?"

"Yeah," I admit, "That late night film that you and I saw meant that I got back after he'd gone to bed, and I was hoping that by sleeping in late the next day I'd miss him completely. But in the morning he knocked at my bedroom door just before he left to catch his flight."

"How was it?"

"At first he didn't really know what to say, but eventually he got round to asking me a few questions. If I'd answered them it would have meant that I'd have had to start telling him about you. I don't think it's any of his business, so I just kept answering his questions with my own question, 'What do you want?'"

"Ohhhh, hard man!" says K with a slight frown on his face.

I start to think about ex-boyfriend T, and K notices a change in my temperament.

"Are you angry at him?" asks K after a short pause.

"I guess I am," I reply. "When I split up with him I thought that we could be friends, but now I'm not so sure. It feels like he took all my love and affection and gave nothing back in return :-(. On top of that, because he implied that he had very little money I paid for virtually EVERYTHING that he needed, as well as letting him live free in my house. So this trip to visit some of his friends came as a big surprise, because I don't understand how he can still afford unnecessary long haul international flights like that. Also, his top priority was always hiding the fact that he is gay, so looking back I don't think that he ever loved me. Perhaps the only thing that I got from him was the ability to swim, because before I met him I couldn't swim at all!"

"Whoa," replies K, "calm down! I guess I can understand why you're angry at the moment. But eventually, I think that you should try and forgive him."

Wise words, I'm sure!

A little later, and we're on the internet in my study, making the final hotel bookings for our imminent holiday.

"There are some great bars for partying on this beach," says K as we're looking for nearby hotels, "because I went there with some friends last year. Actually, I got a bit too drunk, so if we go there then I hope that you'll look after your boyfriend if the same thing happens again!"

I look at him with a surprised but happy smile on my face.

"I mean 'potential boyfriend' :-)," he says correcting himself, and with a happy grin on his face too.

"I'm sure we'll both look after each other," I reply, still smiling, "because sometimes I also have a bit too much to drink!"

My break-up with ex-boyfriend T only happened three months ago, and half of me can't help thinking that I've found K a bit too soon, even though the break-up had been likely for quite a while before that. However, the other half of me is enjoying every minute of the relationship that's starting to develop with K. In any case, I can't turn back now. Within a month, I'll either be enjoying the start of a promising new relationship with K, or feeling more unhappy than ever!


Unknown said...

Sometimes the most we love, the most we get hurt.

GB said...

Don’t you mean "Sometimes, the more we love, the more we get hurt", Sebastian? GB xxx

Unknown said...

Yes, GB. I was bad at uttering it. Lol.

GB said...

Maybe, Sebastian, but as far as I'm concerned it's not relevant. Without the possibility of love and being loved, my very soul would shrivel and die.

GB xxx

Anonymous said...

Hello GB,

Life is short so go for as you have never been in love before....with bf T, you are wise in moving on..but don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Dr. Seuss

Anonymous said...

'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
I feel the same way with my current situation." It feels like he took all my love and affection and gave nothing back in return" except I happen to fall in love with a straight guy so I can't blame him for not returning my love and affection...

John T said...

Go ahead and enjoy loving and being loved! Don't think too much GB.

GVP said...

Your posts always make me laugh and giggle. Hopefully, we will read a post about boyfriend K soon. Enjoy your holiday :-)

Lee said...

GB, I've just stumbled across your blog and I must say it's really great! I'm so envious of you and your charms:-) Hope all goes well for you and K xx

Harry said...

I think you're being overly bitter about your break up with ex-boyfriend T. Wasn't it only a few months ago that you posted an entry with the title 'If you could only keep one memory...' with the following line within - "this is still a very happy memory...the spontaneous and unexpected ways in which boyfriend T brightens up my life all the time :-)". That was in June and fast forward a few months later, you're claiming "It feels like he took all my love and affection and gave nothing back in return".

I'm not speaking on behalf of ex-bf T but I do think you need to give him a break. Your relationship didn't work out the way you'd wanted it to but don't bitch about him in front of your new love interest just because you're infatuated with someone new in your life. At the end of the day, you guys did share a few years of your life together and surely, there had been moments of joy and happiness.

Let bygones be bygones and just be thankful that he was with you for those short few years. Don't be a jerk by telling the whole world "I paid for virtually EVERYTHING that he needed, as well as letting him live free in my house". It's certainly not a very classy thing to do considering you did it willingly in the first place.

GB said...

My posts always reflect how I'm feeling about something at the time I write the post, Harry. What you're pointing out is that my feelings for ex-boyfriend T have changed significantly. A few months ago I was still in love with him, but as you say, now that love has changed to bitterness that things didn't work out.

I try to keep this blog honest, even if it reflects badly on me, otherwise I feel that there's no point in blogging. The unfortunate truth is that what I wrote here does reflect my current feelings, in the same way that what I wrote a few months ago reflected my feelings then. To many people I may seem 'overly' bitter, but it could be worse because the deep love that I had for ex-boyfriend T might have turned into deep hate now that it's all gone wrong. I'm sure that love and relationships affect different people in different ways, depending on how deeply they feel about things. These posts simply reflect the depths of my feelings, even if those feelings are ugly.

However, I'm sure you're right that I should try and let bygones be bygones. Otherwise, the bitterness that I feel might poison my next relationship whether it's with K or someone else.

GB xxx