Lunch with my friend P

"So how did you meet your new boyfriend?" I ask my friend P over lunch last week.

"Definitely not how you think," P replies, "because he doesn't have any online profiles!"

My first instinct is indeed wrong so I guess the smug tone in P's voice is justified! But if they didn't meet on gaydar, knowing P's habits like I do there's one obvious alternative.

"OK, well I bet you met him in 'Shoreditch' then didn't you," I laugh. "Come on mate, own up!"

"Yeah well maybe," P grins. "But he's gorgeous, and he's got an enormous ...". P glances down to my waist and nods knowingly to complete the sentence, now with an even bigger grin on his face.

"Well then, how does he measure up against your perfect boyfriend's characteristics?" I ask. I bring up the spreadsheet on my PDA that we used last time and hand it to P.

"Here you go," says P a minute or so later, "what do you think?"

I review the entries. Wedge=20%, Trouser dept=25%, Personality=25%, Appearance=30%.

"Wow, pretty balanced between the attributes," I say, nodding approvingly. "So when do I get to meet the lucky guy?"

"Soon. How about next weekend, are you busy?"

But our diaries don't match, so P promises to sort something out for another occasion before too long.

Listening to P talking about this new guy, it sounds really serious, which will be good news for P if everything works out. Sometimes gay guys can keep hunting for the perfect boyfriend, who doesn't exist of course. Guys who do that miss out on all the happiness that can come from getting serious with any of the reasonable potential boyfriends that they meet.

Also, although I occasionally meet guys casually for fun, it must be healthier to have regular partners because there are some nasty diseases out there. Without any boyfriends or even fuckbuddies, I have the impression that the traffic through P's bedroom is enormous!