I love South Park. Myself and boyfriend number 1 are huge fans, even though the characters on the program often say "totally gay" meaning "totally pathetic". For people who don't know the program, it's one of their catch-phrases, and perhaps it's becoming a bit of a problem. These days, if someone says something stupid at work, sometimes I actually find myself thinking "totally gay"! But there's no way that gay=pathetic when I think about it rationally.The reason these thoughts are surfacing today is because of GIL's amusing post about his new cats. Two male cats who like each other's company, but because one is more dominant than the other, the dominant one who fights for his territory is labelled 'straight' whereas the timid one is labelled 'gay'. I definitely have the mentality of the cat who fights for his territory, and there aren't many people around who would call me straight!
Of course it's true that some gay guys do have a more timid nature. And some gay guys could be called pathetic, in exactly the same way that some straight guys could be called pathetic. But why does the pathetic label stick on gay guys in general and not on straight guys? I guess it's because that there's still, even these days, a general notion in our society that it's somehow pathetic to be the effeminate type of gay guy. The so called straight-acting gay guys blend in, and because they don't fit the traditional male stereotype, the effeminate gay guys get noticed and labelled "totally gay".
I guess if people were to try and label me, they would call me 'straight-acting'. I haven't worried about these kind of labels for many years, but with the word 'gay' attracting these negative associations, I've just about had enough. From now on, if anyone tries to call me straight-acting, they're going to have a fight on their hands!
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8 comments:
GB, Guilty as charged regarding generalities and sweeping statements about allegedly “macho” heterosexual and allegedly “effeminate” homosexual habits.
I may deserve your comments, but my thoughts, feelings, and understanding of the subject matter are deeper than my vacuous rambling on my blog.
GIL
GB.. I could never imagine you as a cat defending his territory .. grr..go Tiger..or is that meaow. Still all said I think I broadly agree with your post and the connotations labels have on people. Good post.
GB i'm not really sure what you are trying to say ... that you are pissed off with "gay" being used as a pejorative term ... or with being called anything other than gay ?
i can't quite manage to feel your indignation, although i know i should ...
btw, are you gonna stop watching South Park ??
GB - good post! I don't like to think of myself as either "straight-acting" or "gay-acting' for that matter. I'm simply a guy who likes having sex with other guys! But unfortunately, people like to put you in a box and it does get irritating!
The word 'gay' has now come to mean something stupid, pathetic etc. (generally with negative attributions) which I personally do not associate with homosexuality, the meaning has simply evolved once more. Happy – Homosexual – Crap
What I find slightly confusing is why people say things like 'straight' for heterosexuals, implicitly implying homosexuals are 'bent'; insinuating a deviation from the original 'straight' form i.e. a change to an unwanted state.
Related to this is the phrase 'straight-acting'. Again this implies an 'imitation' of something or someone, almost like a disguise of your real self. What happened to terms like masculine or feminine like in character? Or is being masculine and homosexual ‘naturally’ mutually exclusive?
Clearly I'm being pernickety but surely it says something about how both sexualities are viewed. Please tell me your thoughts.
People for some reason can't think outside of very narrow perameters. Here in the U.S. (and in the U.K. too?) we havethe curse of demographics and as soon as you ae placed in one group or another, you are inevitably assumed to be in lockstep with all other members of that group. "All baby boomers want . . ." "Black voters all feel that . . ." etc. It's insulting and, more to the point, it just isn't true.
Trust me--all one has to do is read any three of your posts at random and there's no doubt you're totally, gloriously gay. It has nothing to do with how you walk, talk or dress but with your love of men and the joy with which you write about it.
My advice: ignore those who would put us into narrow catregories--we can't change them--and let's just go on living our lives.
No close encounters, I'm not going to stop watching South Park because I think it's very funny. I guess I'm just rambling about how I wish the word gay hadn't taken it's new meaning of 'Crap', as the eloquent Anonymous commenter puts it. As well as pointing out to GIL that's he's perpetuating the stereotype of the effeminate gay man.
I guess the phrase 'straight-acting' in connection with being gay came into existence precisely because of this stereotype. Lots of gay guys aren't like that, and aren't attracted to that kind of gay man, so a phrase had to be invented to describe non-effeminate gay guys. I certainly don't think being masculine and homosexual are ‘naturally’ mutually exclusive. I like to think of myself as being both, although maybe cuteCTguy thinks of me differently!
GB xxx
the whole gay/stupid thing used to annoy me, but I couldn't care less now - I think 'gay' just has a double meaning, particularly amongst teenagers.
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