Monday, March 12, 2007

A couple of stories from boyfriend number 3

Back in January, I get talking to boyfriend number 3 about offline cruising.

"Do you ever pick up guys in the street GB, or on public transport?" asks boyfriend number 3.

"You know me," I reply, "how often do I take public transport!"

"Well you must SOMETIMES mix with The General Public?" laughs boyfriend number 3.

"True, but in fact I don't think I'm very good at offline cruising! What about you?"

"Haven't I ever told you any of my stories?"

"No I don't think so, what stories?"

"Well," starts boyfriend number 3 with a satisfied grin on his face, "in the past I definitely have picked up guys on public transport, or at least got a phone number off them!"

"Uh huh?"

Gay pickup joint, or 'A transport of delight'?"For example, when I was on a crowded bus a few years ago it was standing room only downstairs, so I went upstairs and the only seat was at the front next to quite a cute guy who looked as though he was asleep. So I sit down next to him and because he's kind of slouched across more than his fair share of the double seat I have to rest my leg against his. He stirs and starts waking up, and moves his leg away but only slightly so that our legs are still just about touching. And there's something about the way he glances at me! So I leave my leg there, and he leaves his leg there, and after a while I move myself around a bit so that my leg gets just that little bit closer to his. He stirs a bit more, but he doesn't move his leg away. I pretend to concentrate on playing chess on my mobile phone, but I rub my leg slightly against his and when I risk a sideways glance at him he seems quite awake. He looks over at me and I smile slightly at him, and then I know I've scored because he rubs his leg slightly against mine now! I actually start to get a bit of a stiffy of course, and as I rub my leg against his again I can tell that he's noticed my excitement and that he's getting a stiffy himself. We catch each other's eye, and we're both grinning mischievously, and we continue to rub each other's leg a bit until he gets up to get off the bus."

"You're dragging this out a bit mate," I say, interrupting, although of course I am enjoying the story.

"Well yeah sorry. Anyway he squeezes past me allowing me to get a good look at his groin, and when I look up to him he kind of indicates with his eyes to follow me. So I do! I actually get off the bus a few stops before the one I'm travelling to! It turns out that his house just over the road from the bus stop, but sorry to say when we got our kit off and finally got down to it, it was the worst sex ever!"

I burst out laughing. "That's a very long winded way of saying that bad sex can be found anywhere!" I say slightly disappointed. "But you told it well :-)."

"Yeah, and there was another time when I was on a train. It was a virtually empty carriage and this guy gets on, and although he could sit in almost any seat, he notices me and comes and sits right next to me, almost touching me in fact. Then looks over at me and grins. I take no notice, but then he opens up a broadsheet newspaper and tilts bottom of the paper away from him to give him a good view of his crotch, and deliberately looks down at himself. Then he's trying to look me in the eye, and looking down at his crotch. I don't know what made him thing I was gay!"

"Nothing to do with the '2 qt 2 be str8' t-shirt you were wearing then!" I say grinning.

"Right, get out!" jokes boyfriend number 3, "how could you POSSIBLY think that I'd have a t-shirt like that, let alone wear it! Anyway, he wanted me to get off at his station but I couldn't 'cos I'd waited ages for the train we were on, and I would have had to wait ages for the next one too. But I got his phone number though :-)."

"That kind of thing never happens to me :-(!" I say sounding mildly upset, "Perhaps you should give me some offline cruising lessons?"

"So you've never picked anyone up in a sauna?"

"Errr, well apart from that."

"Or the gym?"

"And apart from that too!"

"Hmmm, judging from what you have told me GB, I think I should be taking lessons from you!"


Anonymous said...

lol. hilarious!!!!

Anonymous said...

oh my god. guys.... be good!

Monty said...

We should all be taking lessons from you GB!!!