A few hours ago, a guy left a comment on my old posting about condoms and erection problems. This is what he said:I have the same problem [as the guy in the posting] and because of that, at 36 I have been a bottom for 20 years, when in fact there is a big part of me that is all top that I want to experience. And for me it comes from pressure put on me by early sex partners, which I put on myself subsequently throughout my life. I have been seeing a therapist and am trying to find someone I feel safe enough to try with who will not make me feel bad if it doesn't go well. You seem like he could be very safe with you.
As for me, if anyone has any advice on how they overcame this psychological block, please post. thanks.
When I read the comment, I wondered whether it would help to use Viagra to get over the psychological block. Even if this creates a dependency on Viagra, I think it's something that older users have anyway, so perhaps that wouldn't matter.
Do any readers have any further thoughts on this one?
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2 comments:
Viagra / Cialis... these can be quite helpful where erectile function is limited, and they're not addictive, so you're not going to lose a natural ability to have an erection by using them. Sometimes when there are psychological issues involved using viagra for a short while can help alleviate the psychological issues and a return to pharmacy free sex can then follow.
Also, and I think you may have added this in your prior post, adding some water based lubrication before putting on the condom can enhance the sensation during sex, and reduce the chance of failure. Have fun!
Speaking as a psychologist, I advise against the sole use of medication to address a self recognised psychological issue. This might further complicate and worsen your experience of being a top.
May I ask what form of therapy your therapist is using? I would suggest looking into cognitive behavioural counselling (CBC) as a mode of therapy. Many people find this approach more proactive as opposed to some other common forms of therapy, where much time may be spent exploring the roots of the issue. In CBC, a greater emphasis is placed on finding practical ways of addressing the issue.
(Is you do a search for cognitive behavioural counselling you should be able to find some descriptions on the approach)
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