Monday, September 03, 2007

A stag party

Arriving back in the UK from the holiday in Italy last Saturday, I head for a country house hotel just outside London. I've been invited to the stag party of one of my friends from university who's finally decided to marry the mother of his children, and not having seen the guy for more than a couple of years, I'm looking forward to it.

A fine venue for a gourmet dinner, washed down with a magnum of wine each!Stag events aren't usually held in such plush surroundings of course. However all the guys who've been invited have done enough stag nights involving pub crawls and strippers, so a dinner in a private room in a top hotel with good food and wine is a fabulous idea :-). And because it's a stag event, there'll certainly be a lot of wine, and probably lots of other alcoholic beverages too!

"You must know some good stories about the bridegroom GB," says the best man, "I need material for my best man's speech so what can you tell me?"

"Well, we both shared a single bed in my room one night when we were at university, is that any good?" I try.

"But did anything happen?"

"No, we were both a bit drunk, but nothing really happened. Actually, I always thought he was interested in experimenting with his sexuality, but I don't think he ever did :-(."

"Pity," says the best man, looking slightly disappointed.

Racking my brain, I tell him a few more things, but suddenly I remember something that's bound to be of use if I dare share the information.

"About ten years ago, he confided in me when his girlfriend had just left him. He needed a shoulder to cry on, and while I was consoling him he told me about all the women he'd ever slept with! It's quite a short list too :-). Somehow, I doubt he'd have told me if I wasn't gay."

An evil smile crosses the best man's lips and he manages to coax some of the information out of me. I feel a bit guilty afterwards, after all, I'm sure I was meant to keep everything I was told on that occasion confidential forever. But having the best man expose the bridegroom's inner secrets during his speech at the wedding reception is a well established English tradition these days, so how could I refuse!

It's interesting how memory works. When I arrived at the stag event late Saturday afternoon, I could hardly remember any stories about the bridegroom, but as the evening wore on and the alcohol flowed more and more things came to mind.

We all had a great time on the Saturday evening, although the hangover on Sunday was less enjoyable. I, in particular, was thankful that no one had hired any female strippers. The waitresses who served us all in the private room had a tough time though, not because we made trouble for them, but they were definitely blushing listening to the all the bawdy stories that we were telling!


Sir Wobin said...

Reminds me of Christmas dinner in Budapest. 20 gay men doing Secret Santa, someone was bound to get a £5 DVD featuring athletic local performers. Another passing diner caught a look and his eyes definitely popped out on stalks, cartoon style.

Our handsome waiter played his part well. We're sure he knew the score. He didn't flirt exactly but he was very friendly and smiled a lot. Never mind a big tip, he nearly got the whole thing.

Mark Doubleday said...

I have been reading your blog for a little while now, and have been coming to the conclusion that you are not a very nice piece of work. I am sorry about that. Do you not understand that when people confide in you it means just that.


close encounters said...

Mark, it's a wedding - the British tradition is that everybody is morally obliged to betray the groom ... you might not like it, but it's the law !

Mark said...

I am British and Gay, and have been best man at two weddings (so somebody must like me!) but I would never betray a confidence. Sorry. Just no me.

Joshua Carrey said...

Hey, I see you like gay sex too!

You may be interested in my tragic escapades, as I am attempting to break free from my frigid shackles and reinvent myself as a shameless male hussie.

Check out my misadventures:


Guy In London said...

GB, telling those secrets was a shitty thing to do - if the wedding has not yet taken place I suuggest you get the "Best"(?) Man to edit his speech.