A lengthy courtship

Last December, while I was on a business trip to America, I log in to my gaydar account to check messages and find the following message waiting for me from a guy called G who I've never heard from before:

G: Looking for some *fun* tonight. Good looking, 5'11, med build British guy.

The message had been sent the previous day and even if I'd picked it up in the morning, London would have been a bit too far to travel, even for a nice looking guy like G! But it would be good to meet him when I get back to London so I send him an encouraging reply:

GB: thx for msg yesterday m8 :-), I'm too late for last night but would be good to meet another time if ur up for it? GB xxx

My experience is that when guys send messages like this, usually nothing ends up happening if one isn't available at the time originally requested. But a couple of days later, I get a pleasant surprise when the following message arrives:

G: Yes sure I live central so anytime. Maybe sometime next week. G x

So I send him some more pics of me, and soon we've exchanged mobile phone numbers too. He looks like a really sweet guy so I'm definitely looking forward to hooking up with him :-).

Even though G had suggested "next week" in one of his text messages, on my return from America I find myself wondering whether G might be free at the weekend. So after my usual Sunday morning gym session, I decide to send him a txt msg to test the water, and see if I've got his mobile phone number down correctly:

GB: Hi is that G? Weekday lunchtimes are possible for me, but is today any good? GB xxx

Within fifteen minutes a reply arrives:

G: Hi GB, no I am working today. Next week lunch time is best. G x

which is fair enough because he didn't suggest meeting over the weekend. I much prefer meeting guys after work, because as a banker it can be hard to take long lunch breaks, but occasionally it is possible as long as I don't do it too often. So it's easy to draft my reply:

GB: OK sure, so I'll send u a txt msg 2mrw morning when I've checked diary at work :-). Have fun! GB xxx

The following day is the start of the last full week before Christmas and things are starting to get quiet. Half-way through the morning it's clear that taking a long lunch will be possible, so I decide to send G a proposal:

GB: Hi G, hope work wasn't too stressful yesterday. I could visit today if you're up for it, how about 1pm ish? GB xxx

G: Hello GB sorry I cant today a bit busy. Wednesday is good for me or maybe Thursday? G x

I realise that given the time of year, it's not going to be a problem taking a long lunch any day this week, although not every day is good for me because I do have a couple of client lunches organised. So I send him another proposal:

GB: OK G, Wednesday no good for me, but Thursday lunchtime would work :-). So shall we provisionally agree Thursday? (NB: Tuesday also possible for me, either lunchtime or early eve. Friday won't work). GB xxx

He doesn't send me a reply but no matter, in general he's been very responsive so I have no doubt that he's genuine. When Wednesday arrives and I arrive at the bank, I find an email cancelling the client lunch so I send G a txt msg to see whether it's possible to meet him after all:

GB: Hi G, it turns out that I am free today after all, so would it be convenient for me to visit you today lunchtime ish? Or tomorrow still works? GB xxx

G: Hello GB tomorrow is good for me if its good for you. G x

GB: OK great stuff G, tomorrow still works for me. Lets confirm tomorrow morning, and then you can give me exact details of where to go :-). GB xxx

Although he's being responsive, he does seem to be changing his story a bit. Originally he'd been very casual and had simply suggested weekday lunchtimes, but so far he hasn't been able to do any of them!

Thursday arrives so I send him a txt msg for final confirmation:

GB: So, shall we meet at ur place today m8? I could leave work 12 noon for 12:30pm ish arrival, but I'm flexible? If ur up for it, I'll need exact address, including full postcode if poss 2 look u up on multimap.com :-). GB xxx

but I don't get the reply I'm expecting:

G: Hi GB sorry to let you down but something has come up and need to in into work! I am in tomorrow untill 2. Pm he thats any good. Sorry about today. G x

Awwww, after all the txt msgs this week it seems like it's not going to be possible to meet this guy after all :-(! It's also interesting that this txt msg contains several typos. Still, at least he hasn't simply stopped responding to me which is what some guys do in this situation. It's still surprising though, so eventually I decide to check again:

GB: Tomorrow v difficult for me G, are you unavailable ALL day today? GB xxx

G: Its another day I am afraid! Sorry to let you down but is being the last week before xmas things always go wrong with work! G x

Taking stock of the situation, it suddenly occurs to me that perhaps G is new to all this. That would certainly explain all the procrastination, and would also explain why there were uncharacteristic typos his first txt msg today, because he could have been very nervous about the situation. Starting to meet other gay guys for the first time can be very daunting, so I decide to send him a long supportive txt msg:

GB: OK G, no probs, although unfortunately tomorrow really won't work for me. Please don't take this the wrong way but my guess is that you've met very few (if any!) guys like this before, and you're a bit scared. Your behaviour is 100% consistent with that anyway, because in the past I've met quite a few guys in that situation. Anyway, if that is the case, this txt msg is just to say "Don't Panic"! If you do want to meet me for a bit of harmless *fun* at some point, just send me a txt msg. Today is possible, tomorrow isn't, but in any case just send me a txt msg when you're ready and we'll try and work something out (NB I'll be out of the country for almost three weeks in Jan). Take care and Happy Christmas :-), GB xxx

I don't expect a reply and I'm not disappointed because I don't get one! Until last Sunday that is, ten weeks later, when the following sweet little txt msg arrives:

G: Hi GB, this is G from GD. I spoke to you before xmas. If you fancy coming one night after work next week text me. G

Wow, I guess that long txt msg had the desired effect! Actually, I always reckon that I'm quite a good guy to meet if a guy hasn't had many experiences with other guys, because I'm not judgemental and I do understand what it's like to be in that situation. I've also met quite a wide variety of gay guys for various activities over the years, so whatever happens I'm likely to be able to respond in a calm and sensitive way.

GB: Hi G I remember you :-). I need to check my work diary, I know Monday is out but Tues eve might be OK? GB xxx

G: Yes that would be great. Let me know for sure tomorrow. G x

The following day, I check my work diary and as expected, for a meeting after work it has to be Tuesday. So I send him a txt msg to confirm:

GB: Yes G, it looks like I can visit you after work tomorrow :-). For now, can you give me your full postcode so I can look you up on multimap.com to get a clear idea of exactly where you are? GB xxx

If he gives me his post-code it'll be a clear sign that he's likely to go through with meeting me this time:

G: Hi GB 6pm is best. Post code is XXX XXX. Just to say its an ex-council flat and not very attractive on the outside! G x

GB: Don't worry about what it looks like on the outside G, I'll be visiting for a bit of *fun* with you on the inside! GB xxx

This time everything goes according to plan. I leave work early, just after 5pm, and twenty minutes later I'm getting out of a cab in front of a clean but uninspiring council estate. He buzzes me into his building and soon I'm stepping out of the lift onto his floor. Just as I reach his door, it opens and I see G's face peering out at me.

"Brrrr, it's a bit cold out here!" I say grinning at him, "can I come inside?"

"Yes, sure," replies G quietly.

"Anyway, hopefully you'll be able to warm me up!" I say, catching his eye to gauge his response. I always find that mentioning the impending activities helps to break the ice in these situations, especially with someone who may be new to all this.

Face to face G looks just like the pictures that he'd sent me back in December. He was probably exceptionally cute when he was in his early twenties, and now he's just turned 30 there's no doubt that he's a good looking guy, just as he said he was in the first gaydar message that he sent me. At the moment though, I can tell that he's feeling a bit nervous, so I decide that I need to keep talking.

"Is it OK to leave my gym bag here?" I ask him, even though he surely can't have any objection.

"Yes sure."

Dropping my bag on the floor, I take my coat off before turning to face him. Gently I reach out and put my left hand on his right shoulder.

"Nice to meet you at last," I say quietly, smiling again and rubbing his shoulder, "where shall we go?"

"Errr, is in here OK?" he says, pointing through the nearest door into a room where I can see a single bed along the furthest wall.

"Yes great :-)."

We both go and sit down on the bed to take our shoes and socks off and soon we've both stripped down to our undershorts. Looking down, I can tell that G's pleased to see me!

"That looks very nice :-)" I say sitting down next to him, and feeling him gently through his undershorts. "So what shall we do?"

"Nothing heavy, if that's OK ..."

"Sure," I say putting my arm round him and holding him on his shoulder again, "do you like kissing?"

"Errr, yes sure :-)", and keeping my hand on his shoulder, I lean forward and kiss him gently on the lips. He doesn't resist and kisses me back, slowly at first, but soon a bit more eagerly. Before long I'm tugging at his undershorts, which are starting to become an unwelcome barrier to further progress.

"Hmmm, that's better," I say as I pull them off, "WOW, you're not a small guy are you mate!"

It's not long before we're both lying naked on the bed with each other, and taking our time, we have a wonderful session together. Afterwards, we chat a bit while we're cleaning up. And although he'd been quite relaxed in my company during the activities, I can tell that now he feels a bit uncomfortable again. I decide not to overstay my welcome so after my customary glass of water I grab my gym bag and head for the door.

"Do send me another txt msg if you want to meet up again mate," I say as I'm letting myself out, "it's been fun :-)".

Looking back, I've often noticed that it can be the cutest guys that have the biggest equipment. They'll have a sweet face, and most of the time it doesn't look as though there's much there to speak about downstairs. But once aroused it's a very different story, and always looks fantastic coupled with their "butter wouldn't melt in my mouth" face! So if G contacts me again, I'll definitely go back for a second helping :-).