A wobble

"I've definitely fallen in love with K," I tell my friend Close Encounters while we're having a snack together in Central London recently, "I know it's only about two and a half months since I split up with ex-boyfriend T, but I just can't help it. I think about him almost all the time …"

"And have you slept with him yet?" he asks, with a hint of scepticism in his voice. Since Close Encounters is a fellow blogger, he's well aware from reading my blog that until recently, we hadn't engaged in any activities.

"Well," I say sheepishly, "we've cuddled a lot, but No, so far I haven't got any further than that :-(."

"It's a big investment in time if the sex turns out to be bad!"

"But we do seem to get on very well with each other :-)," I reply, "and he's already introducing me to a lot of the important people in his life :-)."

"Such as …"

"Well, I've met some of his family now, also a few of his best friends :-)."

"Wow!" replies Close Encounters, genuinely surprised, "I guess that's just a different way of doing it."

"I think one of the reasons that I've fallen for him is that it's so refreshing to find a guy like K that's 'old school'. He doesn't use any of the dating apps or web sites, and he wants us to know pretty much everything about each other's lives before we sleep with each other. It's kind of like, no sex before marriage!"

"Communication can still be problematic though," I continue, "and over the last 24 hours we've had a bit of a wobble, but I think we're back on track again."

"What happened?" asks Close Encounters, looking slightly worried.

"Well, we had dinner in Chinatown with a couple of his best friends, and then a few beers afterwards in Village Soho. The four of us decide to call it a night, and I almost manage to hail a cab to take me and K home, because we live in the same area. But then, all of a sudden I find myself with K outside G-A-Y bar getting wristbands for free entry to Heaven!"

"So you didn't discuss beforehand that you were going to go to Heaven?"

"Well, K had suggested it in the bar, but his friends hadn't been keen. Anyway, the two of us get into Heaven and it's more beers, and we chat about how everything is going between us and things go well. Actually, one thing, I told him about this blog!"

"REALLY?" replies Close Encounters looking amazed, "that a big step isn't it?"

"Yes I guess so, but he's trying so hard to make sure I know everything about him. Apart from gym, blogging is my biggest hobby so I've got to tell him. I decided years ago that it wasn't right to keep it secret from a boyfriend. Anyway, when I told K, it didn't seem to bother him."

"I guess that's a good sign!"

"But the wobble started when we got back to my place, and looking back, it was definitely all my fault :-(. We were both a bit drunk after all the beer, and it suddenly occurred to me that we should chat about how money should work between us. I don't know why I thought of it then, but I'm quite a bit richer than him, so just like the monogamy issue I think it's something that should be discussed. That's what was in my mind when I said At some point we should talk about money, but what I think he heard was something like I don't want you taking advantage of my money."

"GB!" says Close Encounters, shaking his head slightly, "Whatever possessed you to start a difficult conversation like that when you were both drunk?"

"Well, the fact that I was drunk :-(! Anyway, he goes home but he rings me up as soon as he gets there, and we chat a bit but it doesn't go well. We chat the next morning too and I don't make things any better. And a couple of hours later, I go and make things even worse with a stupid text message."

"What did you say in the text message?"

"Well I started worrying about him. I've spent quite a bit of time with him now, and he sometimes seems a bit euphoric and sometimes a bit depressed. So I sent a txt msg asking him if he was bipolar. But …"

"That's a completely ridiculous thing to do, GB!" interrupts Close Encounters.

"Well I had a hungover from all the beer the night before, and …"

"If you want to discuss that kind of thing," interrupts Close Encounters again, "that's definitely a face to face conversation, and even then, not a conversation to have when things aren't going well!"

"Anyway, what he heard was I think you're mentally ill so he phones me up a few hours later and he was ready to never see me again."

"I'm not bloody surprised!"

"I don't know how I did it, but somehow I managed to say enough of the right things on that phone call. We end up chatting for about 40 minutes, and by the end of the call it was almost as though we'd never had the wobble at all. He also called me up just before midnight too, just as we're both about to go to bed, and that phone call went even better. So I think we're back on track :-)."

"Well," says Close Encounters, shaking his head slightly again, "it would have been better to not have been so stupid in the first place. If you do a blog post about this, you'll be lucky if you ever get another person emailing you for your advice!"

"I know," I reply. "My only excuse is that perhaps because I'm in love with K, I just can't think straight when it comes to anything to do with him. But when I get a Dear GB email and it's someone else's situation, somehow I feel that I can be quite objective."

"Actually," replies Close Encounters, "I think you SHOULD do a blog post about this. Just write down how stupid you've been, and then perhaps that'll teach you not to do it again!"