A visit to a French guy in Belsize Park

At least boyfriend number 1 is now letting me cuddle him in bed. But we haven’t had any further discussions about our relationship.

Anyway, on Saturday morning I log onto gaydar. I’ve hardly used gaydar since mid June, before I went on holiday with Boyfriend number 2. I go into the chat rooms to see if there’s anyone interesting there and before too long I get contacted by a guy from South London. He’s got an interesting perversion:

One thing I like is for a guy to remain fairly clothed, to roll up his shirt and pull his pants to his knees and wank into a dish in front of me, like he's giving a sample. Would you be up for that?

Yes, I'd do that! However it turns out that the guy lives quite a long way away so I’m not going to be able to visit him.

I end up chatting to a French guy in Belsize Park. He wants me to visit him so he can watch me play with myself and also for me to let him play with me. I decide to go for it, a bit of harmless fun on a Saturday morning. So I tell boyfrend number 1 I’m heading to the gym and make my way round to see him.

It turns out that he lives on the top floor in a council block. He buzzes me in, telling me to take the lift. There are two lifts, but one of them is clearly broken. The other is functional, although a bit dirty and smelly.

As I leave the lift he’s leaning out of his door, beckoning me in. He looks very French. In spite of the dirty lift, inside his flat it’s reasonably clean.

I strip down to my gym shorts and let him grope me up the trouser leg. Soon he takes my shorts off and starts playing with me. “I can’t think of any better way to spend my time than playing with Cock!” he says to me. I have a satisfactory time.

Afterwards he tells me that he’s been living in London for 18 years. “I’m French, but from the countryside, not Paris. I tried living in Paris but the Parisians are so snobbish. They look you up and down and judge you. It’s much better over here, London is much more used to foreigners. Even so, I think Paris is the most beautiful city in the world.”

I’m now behaving just like I did before I went on holiday with boyfriend number 2, meeting guys from gaydar and in the gym sauna, but I’m not happy. I’m worried that the situation with boyfriend numbers 1 and 2 is going to get me down, and affect my work. I’m not sleeping very well, and feel very tired during the day. While on holiday boyfriend number 2 said that this was my “mid-life crisis” and perhaps he’s right.