Valentine's Day morning, 2006

Looking back to last year's posting about Valentine's Day morning reminds me how easy it used to be to find a bit of fun before work when the gym sauna in the men's changing rooms was open. But the gym management closed the sauna 'for renovation' and it seems to be permanently closed now :-(

Sometimes though it's possible to find a bit of fun before work via gaydar or gay.com. There have been several occasions when that's happened, e.g. last April and last June, and most recently about three weeks ago on Valentines Day morning :-)

After giving boyfriend number 1 his Valentine's Day card, I log into the gaydar chat rooms while I eat my breakfast. There's not much activity today. I spot an interesting looking guy who says he's 25 years old, and not too far away either, so I try chatting to him. No response! Either he doesn't like my profile, or perhaps he's not at his computer at the moment. But around 15 minutes later when I'm about to logoff, he suddenly springs into life:

guy: hi, was away, u still there?
GB: sure, just finishing my breakfast

I always think it's good to use everyday small-talk like that when chatting on gaydar because somehow it makes the situation more human, and less sleazy too.

guy: u up for something now?
GB: well i've got to go to work this morning but I guess there's still time :-)

We conduct the negotiations quite quickly and soon everything seems sorted. Time is tight at his end too, but he seems keen to meet me.

GB: ok I'll grab a cab so I should be with you in 20 mins or so, sooner if we're lucky
guy: can you txt me before ringing my doorbell, my girlfriend is still here but she should be leaving in about 10 mins or so

Girlfriend? Is that his fag-hag or is there something he's not telling me? He must sense my confusion because he comes clean

guy: btw, I'm straight, is that ok?
GB: sure, no probs.

I always find it amusing when a guy claims to be straight on gaydar, especially in this situation when he's just negotiated some activities with me! To complete the arrangements we exchange mobile phone numbers and I give him a quick call:

"Hi this is GB", I say, "looking forward to meeting you mate. How come it's OK to phone you if your girlfriend is still in the apartment?"

"Oh don't worry", he says, "she's still in the shower, she can't hear a word at the moment!"

Within ten minutes I'm sitting in a cab on my way to visit him. After sending him a txt msg to ask whether his girlfriend has left yet, I spend the rest of the journey wondering whether his girlfriend would be more or less upset if she were to find out that he was being unfaithful with a guy rather than another woman. For what it's worth, if I'm ever caught having fun with someone else's boyfriend, I'd probably find it harder to cope being discovered by the guy's girlfriend than by his boyfriend!

Just before I arrive I get a txt msg

guy: gf gone, coast is clear

Thank goodness. No point replying because the cab is almost there. I find the apartment easily, and ring the doorbell. He seems to take quite a bit of time answering, but eventually the door opens.

"Hi, thanks for coming", he says beaming an enormous smile at me, "come on in :-)"

Face to face he looks better than his photos, very bright eyed, with real energy. He leads me into the main living room.

"Would you like a drink of something?"

"Sure", I say, "a bit early for the hard stuff but a glass of water would be great :-)"

Right in the middle of the room he's carefully placed a large clean white sheet on the floor. I guess that it's for us!

"Sorry, can't really use the bedroom", he explains, "and we need to be careful about stains so I've put the sheet down".

"Good idea", I say helpfully.

The guy is wearing a fresh looking dressing gown, and I have no doubt that he's naked underneath so I strip down quickly to my undershorts.

As he comes over to hand me the glass of water I smile at him. "Thanks that's great."

Now, how does one get started with a guy who's got a girlfriend? "So do you play much with other guys?" I ask casually.

"Well I have done before, but not done anything with guys for years now". But he doesn't look at all nervous, quite the opposite in fact, he seems exceptionally keen. His bright eyes are smiling quite forcefully at me now, no doubt in eager anticipation of what's to follow.

And in fact it's him who makes the first move. He raises his right hand and gently strokes my left nipple. I put my right hand inside his dressing gown and reciprocate. He smiles back at me, knowingly, so I loosen the cord on his dressing gown and lift it gently off his shoulders and let it drop to the floor. I always enjoy seeing fit guys naked, especially when they're aroused, and I'm not disappointed. We have a wonderful time together.

"So how long have you been with your girlfriend?" I ask afterwards.

"About 5 years now I guess. She's a PA to a top executive so she goes away a lot, which works well for me because it gives me an opportunity to play away."

"Isn't it quite hard for straight guys to play away though?" I ask, quite fascinated. "Girls are much less into casual sex aren't they, compared to other guys I mean?"

"Well Sex and the City changed things definitely, also the younger generation is different. So it's definitely possible. For example, I'll get chatting to a woman in a work situation, and then I find it's easier to pick her up later if we find ourselves in the same bar after work." A crafty smile crosses his face, no doubt he's thinking of a particular conquest of his. "Anyway, do you have a boyfriend?".

"Yes, we've been together for seventeen years now", I tell him truthfully.

"And do you still have sex?"

"Well we've been going through a bit of a rocky patch recently, but we've certainly been having sex together throughout most of our relationship."

"Wow that's amazing. I get bored very easily, I have to play away. I'm 37 years old now and it's always been like that with me!"

Hang on, 37 years old? His gaydar profile said 25 years! That must be one of the biggest real age versus internet age discrepancies I've ever come across. But I don't say anything about it.

We part on very good terms, but somehow I doubt I'll meet him again. A guy like that who gets bored so easily is bound to want a different guy the next time he fancies gay sex.