A long weekend in the English countryside

I like to keep in touch with a wide variety of friends. I’m still in contact with a few friends from when I was at school, other friends from my university days, and yet more friendships have developed with people who were originally just colleagues or neighbours. So I’ve got quite a few friends, even without counting all my gay friends (and boyfriends!).

After the hiatus last month which prevented me from going on a short holiday with boyfriend number 2, I definitely need a break from my standard routine, so I decide to visit a friend for a long weekend. I choose F, the friend I turned to for advice last year before telling boyfriend number 1 about boyfriend number 2. A big advantage of visiting F is that I can talk honestly with him about my life and relationship problems, because F is one of the very few people who know the truth. Another advantage of visiting F is that he's straight, with a wife and two kids, so boyfriend number 1 won't need to worry about what I'm getting up to.

But will it be convenient for F to put me up for a few nights? Luckily he was free towards the end of March, so two and a half weeks ago I set off on the long train journey needed to visit him at his rural home in the north of England.

The countryside where F lives is beautiful, although the weather was a bit grey and rainy for my entire visit. Between the vigorous walks and the hearty home cooking we talk about everything under the sun. At one point he brings me up to date with his brother's sex life.

"So how's your brother doing following his divorce?" I ask.

"Well for a while he had quite an exciting sex life".

"How did he manage that?"

"He discovered that there are lots of Bridget Jones types in London", says F with a mischievous grin on his face. "He's not the dischevelled guy you probably remember when he was a student, he really does scrub up quite well. So he spent many months jumping from the bed of one lonely woman to the next".

"You make him sound quite athletic!"

"Well I think he got a bit of help - apparently Viagra didn't do his reputation any harm at all."

In spite the numerous spam e-mails I get on this subject I am yet to try Viagra, though I would be surprised if I hold out forever. "I thought viagra was for older guys", I query, "your brother can't even be 40 yet".

"Actually one of the guys in the village near here was telling me about his Viagra experience", replies F, changing the direction of the conversation slightly. "Apparently it took 24 hours to wear off completely. He didn't have a stiffy for 24 hours of course, however the slightest stimulation or naughty thought and Boing, up he went, ready for action!"

"So has your brother settled down now?"

"Well he seems to have been with the same woman now for over a year, so I guess so. But what about you?"

"Well, as you know, I still love boyfriend number 1, but I'm not suited to a monogamous lifestyle."

"So how many other guys to you see?", asks F. Knowing F's love of scandal, I have a suspicion that this is the question that he's been waiting to ask me!

"Well, one way or another, I probably had encounters with 50 to 60 guys last year."

F seems stunned by my answer.

"GB that's quite impressive!"

"In a straight context I guess, but not in a gay context. Many gay guys have a lot more encounters than that. And it wasn't full on sex with all those guys of course by any means. That's hard to achieve in the gym sauna where I met quite a few of the guys in the first part of the year! Unfortunately the gym sauna was closed last year so I'm not hooking up with as many guys now."

By the end of the weekend we've explored all the different angles and possible outcomes. F's main concern is that even if boyfriend number 1 agrees to an open relationship, he might not really be happy with it so we could both just end up making each other miserable. F usually has good insight into this kind of problem so I'll certainly be taking his thoughts into account in the weeks and months ahead.