Thursday, December 03, 2009

The housing arrangements

A couple of months ago, I'm chatting to boyfriend T over dinner in a restaurant. As I look lovingly into his gorgeous eyes, I can't stop myself from asking him an important question:

"T, why don't you move in and live with me full time?"

"Wow," he says after a short stunned pause, "that's a big step!"

"Yes, but it makes so much sense :-)," I reply hopefully, "after all, you spend a lot of time at my house anyway."

"I know, but don't forget that none of my friends or family know that I'm gay :-(. So what happens if any of them come and visit me in London?"

"Well, I'm sure we could put them up in our home :-)."

"But then they'll see that I sleep in the same bed as you!" he says, shaking his head at me, "I know that I could save a lot of money by moving in with you, but for now, paying for my own separate accommodation to make sure that nobody finds out I'm gay is money well spent!"

"Awwww ..."

"Don't worry, maybe one day ..."

Before I ever asked T to be my boyfriend, this was the main thing that worried me, namely the fact that he is so closeted. So after that brief conversation, I thought it best to drop the subject of whether we should live together or not. I figured that I needed to give boyfriend T a bit of space, to sort out matters in his own mind.

A couple of days ago, boyfriend T is staying round my house for the night. When it's time to go to bed, I end up using the bathroom first, so I'm first into bed. The good thing about being first into bed is that I get to watch boyfriend T taking all his clothes off, which I always enjoy :-).

"GB ...," says boyfriend T as he pulls down his undershorts.

"Yeah," I answer, paying more attention to boyfriend T's beautiful buttocks instead of what he's saying.

"Do you remember that chat that we had, about whether I could live here?"

"Yes of course."

"Well," says boyfriend T, taking a deep breath, "Do you still think it would be OK if I moved in with you?"

"Yes of course :-), wow, are you really thinking about coming to live with me :-))."

"Well it's so hard living in two places, because I've got some stuff here and some stuff there, you know! But I might need you to put a bed into that room that you've said could be my study, so that if any friends come to visit then I can pretend that I sleep there."

"OK," I reply, "I'm sure we can sort something out!"

"Don't get too excited just yet though," he cautions, "because I'm not sure yet! The main reason for moving in would be so that we could be together :-). But I'm still worried about outing myself."

The next morning, I give him a key to my house while we're having breakfast together. Previously, he'd always refused to take one, but this time he accepts. I still don't know whether he'll come and live with me yet, but just knowing that he's seriously thinking about it makes me happy :-).


NaijaScorpio said...

Happy for you :)

Suf n Steve said...

break the leg!! u've got lively pillow lol

1, 2, step

Nik_TheGreek said...

Congratulations on that!!!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. It's a lovely story.

Is T Asian? If so, what kind? Chinese? Indian? Who is he not out to?

Superchilled said...

Very cool to see the progression.

Unknown said...

That's such a big momemt in a relationship, to live together or not ? Very exciting to think about but also scary too. I'll be holding a good thought for you guys.

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

I guess I should say congrats then GB.

As an Asian guy who once upon a time would have very much thought akin to T - it's a big deal for him. So bravo to him for putting himself before his family/friends.

I wish it works out for you both x

Anonymous said...

Gosh that part about living in 2 places is so true! All SOs should realize how hard it is for the 'mobile' one to move back and forth with things everywhere :'(

-Gay Gym Rat

Hedgie said...

I love your smiley house illustration for this post :-)

Congratulations to you and T, wishing you all the best together.

Anonymous said...

That is such a nice story!

I hope it all goes well :) and that he can make a good fry up, too!


GaySocrates said...

It's getting better every day!
Love and best wishes to your deepening relationship and Boyfriend T's battle against homophobia and your love for each other overcoming all obstacles!

Anonymous said...

What race of Asian is not as important. What kind of Asian interests me more. Jock? Twink? Hunk? Tranny?

deceptively_good said...

hello! would you mind if i put a link of your blog to my site? :)

GB said...

Indeed Nik_TheGreek, as I’ve said before, boyfriend T is Asian :-). But as usual, I'm going to decline to give further information! And as boyfriend T said in the post, he's not out to any of his friends or family, except friends that he's acquired via me I guess.

I'm also not going to answer the question from the anonymous commenter (whoever he is), who asks "Jock? Twink? Hunk? Tranny?". In any case, categorising people like that is so superficial :-(.

I don't mind if you put a link from your blog to my site, deceptively_good :-). If you want a reciprocal link, just let me know when you've done the link from your blog.

GB xxx

vanker said...

if he's so closeted and you love him so much buy him a house with your last (or next) bonus so that he has a place to stay when his folks pay a visit. that way he can have his cake and eat it (-:

deceptively_good said...

hello! i've linked your site to mine...and thank you too for placing a reciprocal link in your site.:D have a nice day.

Unknown said...

Hey Interesting blog btw :) came on to it by accident but never the less interesting read!

MadeInScotland said...


a Merry Christmas indeed!!


JohnW said...

This is wonderful news - I so hope that it works out for both you guys :-) You deserve every happiness.



Anonymous said...

Wow,I understand what a big step this is for him, I hope the two of you are very happy

Antony said...

Wow, good news. Just before christmas too! I'm really pleased and happy for the both of you.

A x said...

Hey GB
Really pleased for you! All the best, and happy holidays!

Bubbles said...

Awwww! that's so cute! Well done! ; )

Godfrey said...

What a great post!! Congrats GB! xoxo