Thursday, August 04, 2005

An encounter with a nervous guy in Spitalfields

Last Saturday morning I log on to gaydar. I get chatting to a 29 year old guy called R who’s based in Spitalfields, although he also lists Balham and Birmingham as other places he frequents. His profile says ½-caucasian / ½-Pakistani and under profession it says ‘family business’, which gives me the impression that his family run a small shop of some sort.

“I’m got this flat in Spitalfields which I use at weekends”, he says.

“OK, shall I come and visit you this morning, can you give me the addresss?”

“Lets meet at the tube station first, and if we get along OK we’ll come back here, it’s only three minutes walk”.

So it’s all arranged. I arrive slightly early so I send him a txt msg. The reply comes quite quickly, “see you soon”, which makes me feel comfortable. I always prefer having the address to go to directly, because with meetings elsewhere there’s always the possibility that the other guy won’t turn up.

Face to face he’s quite short, but with a cute, friendly face. “Which way then?” I say, smiling at him.

“Errr, this way, not far”.

Almost immediately we pass a Starbucks coffee shop. He looks at me nervously,

“Do you mind if we grab a quick coffee, I need to work out how to do this?”

“Sure”, I say, still smiling even though I’m not sure what he means.

He buys me a cappuccino and we sit together in a quiet corner.

“I’m feeling really shitty about this actually”, he starts.

“What’s the problem?”

“This flat isn’t mine. It belongs to an ex-boyfriend of mine who lives there with his current boyfriend. They let me stay there at weekends when they’re away, but on the condition that I don’t take anyone back. On gaydar, previously I’ve always said that I can’t accom”

“Ahhh, I see. Well don’t worry, I won’t tell them”, I say, trying to move things on a bit. But he looks distinctly uncomfortable so I try to make small talk.

“One of my school friends had a similar background to you”, I try, “he was ½-English, ½-Asian”.

“Actually I’m 100% Indian”, he says with a guilty grin, “I’m afraid that bit on my profile about being half caucasian is a lie.”

“Why bother lying about that?” I ask.

“I don’t want anyone to connect the profile to me, just in case”.

“But you don’t have a picture on your profile so I don’t really think you have much to worry about”, I say, trying to make him feel more comfortable.

He tells me a bit more about his background. He’s had a few boyfriends in the past, but nothing very permanent.

“So what’s the family business then, your profile gives me the impression that your family run a shop or something.”

“Errr, actually that whole thing on my profile about a family business is a lie too”. He’s smiling now, almost laughing. “Balham, where’s that? Somewhere in South London I think but I’ve never been there!”

“I think you’re being too cautious”, I say, laughing too. “So what do you do for a living?”

“I’m an artist, I like to draw”. But that’s not a profession, I find myself thinking. I don’t follow up in case it makes him feel anxious. Instead I’ve thought of something more basic to ask him:

“And I don’t suppose R is your real name either, is it?”

“Err no, you’re getting to know me quite well aren’t you :-)”

But he won’t tell me his real name, not at the moment anyway. Eventually I persuade him that everything will be OK if I visit him in his friend’s appartment. He hatches a plan that makes him comfortable.

“I’ll leave first. You stay here for 5 minutes. I’ve told you the address, please don’t write it down or record it in your mobile, just in case. If you get lost phone me. I’ll let you in when you buzz, come straight up to the third floor and try not to be seen by any anyone else in the appartment block.”

“OK, that’s all fine”. I smile at him and he leaves. I visit the toilet. Poor guy, how can he have much fun when he’s this nervous?

Everything goes according to plan. As he lets me through the door though other people can be heard on the stairs, prompting him to say “Phew, close shave” as he closes the door.

We go straight into the bedroom. I sit on the bed and start stripping off but then he asks me to move. He’s holding a clean sheet for the bed so I help him put it on. After that, we get naked and aroused very quickly.

“You’ve got a lovely body”, I tell him as I hug him close to me, “do you go to the gym?” .

“No, but I do karate” he murmurs. He’s obviously very fit.

“You’ve got a nice body too”, he continues, “and I’d love to fuck you”.

I’m reluctant. I usually avoid that kind of thing when I’m not with boyfriend number 1. “I don’t usually fuck with guys I don’t know well”, I say.

“Let me look at your arse anyway”. Seems harmless enough. So I let him spread my legs wide as he pushes my ankles back towards my ears.

He takes a good look and then looks me in the eye unhappily. “Did you shower this morning?” he asks.

“Yes of course!”. Now it’s my turn to lie. Showering would have looked strange to boyfriend number 1 because I told him I was going to the gym and there’s obviously no point in showering before a workout.

“Well you’ve got bits in your arse mate”. I find it hard not to laugh. But at least he forgets the idea of fucking me.

“How old are you anyway”, he asks me a bit later. I tell him my internet age. He looks at me hard. “Yes”, he says slowly, “you could be”. I ask him his age and he tells me that he’s 34.

Of course his profile had said 29. “Don’t worry”, I say laughing, “after what you told me about everything else on your profile I was under no illusion that your age would be correct!”

We spend probably half an hour naked with each other on the bed and have a great time. “I’m going to feel bad about having had a guy in the appartment so I don’t want to rush”.

Towards the end I ask him for his name. Surely now we’re in this position together he can tell me his name! “I want to tell you. No, maybe I’ll tell you if you send me a txt msg next week”.

I look at him and smile, shaking my head slowly.

“You think I worry too much”.

“Yes”, I say, “just a bit!!”

Overall it’s a very enjoyable session, if not a bit unusual. Afterwards we lie with each other for a few minutes, but soon he wants to clean up. If I ever see him again I’ll make sure I take a good shower first.


Smiling4Now said...

Have never met someone that nervous! I know how scary it can b and i obviously get nervous but that outrageously nervous :D

hugh hamill said...

i just found this blog and have started from the very beginning. i love it. but i dont understand - 'bits in your arse'?! what does that even mean?!

GB said...

LOL Hugh, I never found out! This is my first encounter with the guy who became known in this blog as firstly "boyfriend number 3", then "boyfriend R", and then "ex-boyfriend R". You'd have to ask him. GB xxx